The Practical Aspects of Homeschooling

The Practical Aspects of Homeschooling

While homeschooling has plenty of benefits, there are some important and practical aspects of homeschooling which are often not discussed or shared by the homeschooling community.

1) Significant drop in household income

Since it is compulsory for the main homeschooling parent to resign from her work, your household income will drop 50% (more or less depends on the partner's income).

It can be even more challenging if the sole bread winner doesn't have a monthly (regular) income. Ahem, talking about myself LOL.

2) Change In Lifestyle

Since your household income will drop drastically, you will need to have discipline, self-control and change your spending habits. You will start looking for what is valuable instead of getting what you like. You cannot afford to live for yourself.

You cannot be going overseas every now and then. You cannot be buying a bigger property due to one income's loan eligibility. More so if you suffer a hairline cut if you are not a salaried worker.

You cannot be going into cafes and restaurants regularly, especially when the overall cost of living in SG is extremely high as compared to other nations.

There is a price to pay for homeschooling. Count the cost and pay it.

3) Loss Of Personal Freedom

As your child is stuck to you 24/7, you won't have much personal freedom. Technically, he doesn't go to school.

The main homeschooling parent will spend most of her time with the child.

If you think of having regular, frequent dates with your partner, you can throw that thought away.

4) Homeschooling Costs Much More

Primary and secondary education in SG are heavily subsidised. Not for homeschooling though. You don't get subsidies for anything.

Not for books and materials.

Not for any course or lesson.

Not for MOE subsidised materials including technology, software, etc.

Not for meals (aka canteen in schools).

You pay for everything. And since a homeschooling child cannot be stuck at home without social circles, you pay for activities. You pay for sports where they are free in schools. You pay for science lab experiments where they are free in schools.

You pay for enrichment classes if the main homeschooling parent cannot cover every single topic / subject. I doubt anyone can cover it all, as it gets tougher in upper Primary.

5) MOE Curriculum

Yes. You can use any curriculum you want for your child, as long as it is approved by the Compulsory Education Department.

However, PSLE is a holy, divine, invisible sacred cow in Singapore that cannot be killed. Because of that, you still find yourself having to do MOE curriculum at some point.

It will be helpful if the main homeschooling parent is a trained teacher (Ahem, talking about my wife). Otherwise, you will need to put in extra effort to learn and teach. Alternatively, you can pay more to outsource further, which will increase your cost even more.

6) Teaching Your Own Child

When the teachers teach in a class, nobody argues with them. But when you teach your own child, he won't see you as a teacher. He sees you as his parent.

In other words, he's going to argue with you. He's going to post you questions. He's going to ask all the why's.

While it's 1-to-1 lesson, you will still lose your patience. You will get frustrated. You will have good and bad days. On good days, you get the work going. On bad days, you don't get anything done.

What you plan in the schedule often won't materialise, because you are not dealing with a robot. You are dealing with your child who can get distracted, unmotivated, etc.

In short, you have to handle all spectrums of emotions.

7) Most Homeschoolers Are Not Academically Excellent

Most homeschoolers (during primary and secondary years) are not academically excellent, as compared to those school kids from top schools. They catch up, however, at a later stage during tertiary years.

The reason is very simple. If your focus is having an academically excellent child, you won't be doing homeschooling in the first place. You will be the typical kiasu / kiasi / FMO Singaporean parent / tiger mum who drills your child in every subject, with plenty of tuition and enrichment classes.

We choose homeschooling because we do not want to go that route. Academics is not everything in life. You can be extremely learned but have no wisdom in life. You can study very well and produce great academic results, but still do not know how to live a purposeful life.

These are some practical and important aspects for you to consider before embarking on homeschooling. Having said that, the benefits outweigh the costs. So please, stay v̶a̶c̶c̶i̶n̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ tuned for the benefits, which I will share again as I did in many posts before.

Real Humility

This is really simple to discern. In my encounters with so many people, whether in the marketplace or the church, there are too many who do not know their identity.

When one appears to exalt and honour some but ignores others, he doesn't know his identity as a child of God. He can preach it, appears to live in it, but still doesn't know it until humility is manifested.

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that HE HAD COME FROM GOD and was going back to God, rose from supper. - John 13:3-4. And Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.

Humility has to do with sonship because only a child of God trusts His Father enough to humble himself before everyone.

In the world that we live in, we really have enough of social media personalities. We need sons of God to be manifested, not just in power, but in humility by treating everyone with honour.

Benefits of Homeschooling

One of the benefits of homeschooling is that the child can be who he is, without trying too hard to conform to others due to peer influence/pressure.

In a school setting, a child is "forced" to grow up and conform to the image of others, in order to fit into his social circle, be accepted and well-liked. Well, this is the norm of every human being, apart from walking in the identity of sonship ----- acceptance.

It's extremely challenging especially among the new generation in the nation of Singapore. I won't dare to say that it's simple as believers.

But my wife and I knew this and we chose a different path for our child.

Last night, my son (going through puberty) came to hug me from the back as I was doing some work. He rested his face on my shoulder. I paused from what I was doing, and kissed him. This made me reflect and thus, wrote this post.

I love it whenever he hugs me. And I love to hug him too. I do not know how long this would last. But I would love it to be as long as possible.

I know it would be different if he were to go to school. The school culture, though unspoken, equates puberty with a tad of shame and embarrassment. Hugging and kissing by parents are generally a No-No and fret upon by these growing teens.

But my wife and I have the privilege to journey with him through the puberty process without any shame or embarrassment. We believe that it will be different from cultural, social and worldly norms because we homeschool him.

He's a lovely boy who holds my hand and stays close to me when we are out in the streets. Most boys in puberty will try to avoid that. But I personally don't believe that this is not possible between a father and a son. We are called into intimacy just as God the Father and us are.

Of course, he does the same to my wife, who is the opposite gender.

This is one benefit of homeschooling that I would not trade for anything else. No amount of material wealth can replace this rich treasure.

If you are exploring homeschooling, this post is for you. You will never regret extending your parenting through this process.

Father's Day

Father's Day 

Last night, J felt great discomfort in his tummy, had a headache and was trembling. We suspected that it was the dessert that he ate after dinner.

I was listening to a message in the living room when he came out of the bedroom, asking me to pray for him as he felt like vomiting. I did what I normally do. Then he laid on my lap. 

As usual, mummy would always be worried. So I told her to return to the bedroom as he would be fine. 

He listened to what I was listening and soon fell asleep on my lap.

This morning, he woke up completely well. Wifey said to him, "J, this is God's healing." He replied, "Yes."

It takes great comfort when your own son knows where to find comfort when he is unwell. Coming to me and resting in my presence is his source of healing and health.

Eventually, he has to find comfort and rest in God's presence as his source of healing and health. Because God has no grandchildren. When we run to Him to find comfort and rest, the Father is extremely delighted.

You and I represent the Father in heaven. The greatest connection between our child and the invisible Father is us. While we are not perfect, it is not an excuse to stay imperfect.

On Father's Day, I was reminded that the best gift is my son, and the greatest assignment given by God is to be a father.

Sometimes we are more excited with the 'church ministry' than fathering our own child. Because the former is publicly seen and recognised while the latter is unseen & unrecognised.

If this is true for you, you are no different from the first Adam (effects of the Fall) and is still lost in identity. Jesus was beaten and marred beyond human recognition so that you and I can have the Father's everlasting recognition.

If our recognition truly comes from the Father, we will not try to perform and achieve more publicly than fathering our child privately. The world continues without you, but your child needs you as the father.

P.S: If every father fathers the child passionately, we honestly don't need any more church ministry.

Identified With Christ, Not Sin

Identified With Christ, Not Sin

The Old Covenant reminds you of your sins, because your conscience is evil (Heb 10:2-3). You live each day conscious of your sins. It keeps you bringing daily sacrifices to God, where you realise that you are sinful and helpless.

The Old Covenant points you to the need of a Saviour, Jesus Christ.

The New Covenant reminds you of your righteousness, because your conscience is perfected (Heb 10:22). You live each day conscious of the Son. It keeps you bringing daily thanksgiving to God, where you realise that you are a beloved son and victorious.

The New Covenant points you to who you are in Christ and who He is in you.

But as it is, He has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself. - Heb 9:26

The word 'put away' in Greek means 'annulment', 'rendered no longer in effect'.

Christ offered Himself once and for all to annul sin and render sin no longer in effect. This is why it is impossible for God to punish you for sins. This is called Double Jeopardy.

Your sickness is not a punishment from God.

Your loss of loved ones is not a punishment from God.

Your trauma is not a punishment from God.

Your pain, rejection and abandonment is not a a punishment from God.

Your town facing natural disaster is not a punishment from God.

Not everything in your life happens for a reason or a good purpose. Stop believing in these religious lies. There is another world (called the kingdom of darkness) at work. It's bent at destroying you. And it is not God.

Because sin has been dealt with (Heb 9:27-28), it is no longer in you. You can't make any further sacrifice/offering for your sins, because it would then be a reminder that your conscience had not been purified by the works of Christ on the Cross.

Instead, if you stumble, remind yourself of who you are in Christ. Thank God for a good and clear conscience that is completely free from guilt, so that you can walk as close to Him as possible. 

The most secured son walks the closest to the Father.

Your Conscience Is Perfected

Your Conscience Is Perfected

According to this arrangement, gifts and sacrifices are offered that cannot perfect the conscience of the worshiper... - Heb 9:9

The Old Covenant could not perfect our conscience. Hence, the New Covenant had to be introduced by God (Heb 8).

In the Greek, the word 'conscience' used in Heb 9:9 refers "to perfect one that his own conscience is satisfied, i.e. that he can regard himself as free from guilt."

In other words, if your conscience is perfected, you are free from guilt, because you no longer need to have any consciousness of evil aka sin.

Since Christ has perfected our conscience (Heb 10:22), we can live everyday free from guilt because we are free from the consciousness of sin.

People say that you need to be conscious of your sins so that you can confess your sins and ask God for forgiveness.

You are not forgiven because you cried, felt sorry, confessed your sins, or repented, or even uttered a sinner's prayer. You are forgiven because Christ's blood was shed on the Cross. (Heb 9:22)

Confession is to acknowledge and agree with what God said. And what God said about you is what He did through Christ.

Repentance is to turn away from the consciousness of you and step into the consciousness of Christ. It's to turn away from the consciousness of sin and step into the consciousness of Son.

This is why it's called changing your mind. You remove yours and change to the mind of Christ.

When we believe that Christ has perfected our conscience and we can live free from guilt everyday, we are walking in repentance.

This is a precious gift in the New Covenant. Don't go back to the obsoleted covenant.

To The UV Community

To The UV Community

Over the past 3 years, I have had individuals contacting me as they have left their churches due to V. They were hurt and disappointed with their pastors and leadership.

There are many more as I see and hear from various groups.

I can share this as one whose family is completely UV; who went through the discrimination; the insane lock-down from entering any location; buying our field chairs and table to eat in the park and open field; prevented from entering a church service when a church is supposed to walk in faith and power, etc.

We forgave. Forgiveness is not a choice. It's a command. When we see the Cross, we know that Grace is present to forgive everyone.

For the UV Christian community, I would say this, "No church is perfect. The moment you enter, a perfect church becomes imperfect." 

Forgive your pastors. Forgive your leaders. They do not know better. They are just as 'humans' as we are. When we get hurt by them, it's because we unknowingly worship them. They are no better than anyone in the eyes of God. They are not more holy, nor more powerful than any son and daughter of God. They are just given a function to work in His kingdom and are just doing the best that they know how.

It's good to go back to your community. You are there for Christ and because of Christ. Don't let a pastor's/leader's mistake become the source of your rebellion. We are submitted to Christ and His kingdom.

Let's not do things for the sake of rebellion. Rebellion is witchcraft in the Bible.

For me, I'm wired the way I am by God. It is not just about the V. My wife has always joked that I'm weird and do things different from people.

The difference between my wife's age (she's my senior) and mine broke social norms. We chose homeschooling and it broke social norms. We are a UV family and it broke social norms. We left institution (not because we are hurt by leadership) and it broke social norms. The way I do things broke social norms, not that I purposely wanted to, but there are things that I see differently. I can honestly share that it is not rebellion.

I sat with a group of pastors and leaders in a meeting and I felt totally out of place, because the ministry conversations were totally different from my understanding of ministry ever since I understood the Kingdom. It felt weird especially when I had been in full-time church ministry.

I preached in churches and some never invited me back again because I would say that my theology on healing wrecked theirs and they couldn't accept it.

That's who I am. I'm glad though, that there are a few crazy ones whom I know personally too.

I haven't gone back to an institution, not because I want to rebel, but there is nothing out there that I fit in. I don't want to create an issue with the things I do if I were inside an institution, such as entering funerals trying to raise the dead (if the family permits). But I'm still in a community. And I still send my son to a church service because he wanted to go.

Therefore, I encourage us... the UV believers... return to your community (if it fits you) and forgive your pastors and leaders. The grace of God be with you all.

Relationships & Truth

We are relational beings. And since love covers multitudes of sins, the deeper our relationship is with others, the more we are willing to overlook their wrongs.

This is why we are quick to judge outsiders and slow to recognise the weaknesses and wrongs of those closer to us.

I would say that if we don't have a deeper relationship with someone, be slow to point out what we think is wrong. Because what we think might not be what it is, in the absence of relationship and communion. We often misinterpret what the person is saying because of a lack of true understanding.

On the other hand, we need to point out what is wrong with the person whom we have deeper relationship with, by taking a step back and observe what is truth. We tend to overlook that in the presence of familiarity.

While Jesus is Love (1 Jn 4:8), He is also Truth (Jn 14:6). This is why Paul taught us to speak the Truth in Love (Eph 4:15).

Because if we truly love someone, we need to let him know the truth. This is regardless of his status, whether he is a CEO, a Senior Pastor, a high ranking official, etc.

If we only give truths to those who are not "higher" in function/role than us, it's not biblical love. It comes from a condescending spirit, rooted in the fear of men.

There is a healthy tension between relationships (love) and truth. When we want to be quick to judge someone, ask, "Do I need to build a deeper relationship with the person first?" 

When we have a deeper relationship with someone, ask, "Are there truths that I should speak to the person but have overlooked them?"

The Struggle Of Parenting Gen Alpha

The Struggle Of Parenting

As homeschooling parents, we have purposed to do things different from social norm. We want to impart good values to our kid (though we are not perfect). This is the reason for homeschooling in the first place.

For J, it is sometimes, a struggle to break away from his circle of homeschooling friends. Yes, we need to keep finding the right community. Most of his male friends, despite homeschooling, are stuck with both handheld (including mobile) games and console games.

We have been intentional in avoiding/delaying J from those stuff. Yet when he's with his group of friends at homeschooling lessons/activities, he couldn't help but feel lonely, because he couldn't play them, and thus, could not connect on those topics. There were many times when he felt left out as he shared with us.

Once someone takes out the mobile device, the whole social communication/interaction vanishes. The rest of the boys will all focus on the mobile games.

Welcome to Gen Z and Gen Alpha where social media & games (for boys) are everything. The set of struggles for girls will be different from boys.

We cannot blame the homeschool parents, for the role of homeschooling mums are most tiring as compared to SAH mums and working mums. I say this in general.

SAH mums whose kids go to schools have the best privilege of daily "me" time and self-cares. Again, I say this in general.

Working mums have the privilege of taking a break from their kids.

Homeschooling mums are constantly revolving around the kids. There is no daily "me" time or regular breaks from the kids. The engagement is almost 24/7. By the time when the kid goes to bed, the mum is already exhausted.

This is the reason why we cannot fault homeschooling mums for allowing their kids to play mobile/console games. Because when the kids' attention is drawn away from the mum, the mum is able to take a breather and rest.

It will be so easy for us to simply let J play mobile/handheld games. It makes our lives way easier. It removes the struggle of him trying to fit in with his circle of friends.

But we need to be firm and unwavering. We need to remind ourselves the purpose of homeschooling. The pressure and social conformity might be strong in this nation, but how we navigate this as parents, and how we build tenacity and values in our child is true empowerment.

We are empowering him for the future. We are empowering him to say "No" to what is not beneficial. We are empowering him to resist temptations. We are empowering not to be conformed, but to reform. We are empowering him to be a leader, not a follower. We are empowering him to be different from the majority so that he can go after God and the narrow path, even if it is difficult.

The struggle is real at times, but we must look beyond the present into the future. We cannot mould him into what we want him to be. But we can provide the platform for him to step into who he could be. By His grace.

Do What We Preach

My son passed me a sweet dessert to have a bite.

I said, "No. I don't like sweet stuff. You can enjoy it."

He replied, "Everything must try. That's what you always say to me."

Since I have said that, I had to swallow back my words and take a bite.

Fathering requires you to do what you preach. It forces NATO out of your life because you have a mini mirror (aka your child) reminding you what you have said.

Humility & Honour

There is more to write about certain pastors today (happens to be another's birthday), whom I had personal encounters with. Yeah most people only see the elevated part.

I got to see how insecure they are, while they fiercely preach on identity and minister like superstars.

Not pointing fingers. That's why we are not naming anyone.

It continues to show that we are all on the same level playing field, regardless of your ministry achievements, public affirmation and spiritual title/position.

All are but sons and daughters. All are growing unto His likeness. All have NO superiority over one another because Christ is the only Supreme Authority and the only Superstar.

Therefore, we shall walk in humility and honour towards one another, especially the least and the unknown, who can bring no value to us.

There is no double honour needed for elders and pastors (1 Tim 5:17) except for those who 'rule well'. In Greek, it means 'to have character which provides the needed model to direct others and the excellence by living in faith.'

Have been reading the book of Timothy, so pardon me for these posts.

True Humility

Years ago before the School of Power and Love SG conference, I went up to a Senior Pastor, trying to thank him for assisting us to publicise the event. He gave the "don't come and disturb me" expression and wanted to quickly brush me aside.

During the conference, he came up to me one day and gave a sarcastic remark, saying, "Pastor, I need to go off earlier. Sorry I can't attend the full day." Well, he knew that I'm not a pastor. I'm just a volunteer hosting School of Power and Love SG.

In School of Power and Love SG, we intentionally refused to elevate any pastor but gave everyone the same treatment ---- it is the main message of identity and sonship. But I guess some including him got offended.

Yeah others might see him as a humble pastor but I saw more things and much deeper about leadership (and some pastors) in this conference.

Humility is not based on how you "humble" yourself by treating others of similar position. True humility is revealed by how you treat the least and the unknown.

Btw today happens to be his birthday. Jesus still loves him. Amen.

The Word Delivers

The Word Delivers

For a period of time, my son was afraid of Halloween and the picture of skeletons. He's generally more sensitive (and imaginative) to stuff since he was born. I believe he's a seer.

I gave him a lot of the Word to memorise, confess and believe. But it didn't help him to break free from this fear. It did, however, build a foundation in which the voice of God can come through.

One day, I took him aside and asked him to confront this issue with God together. We prayed and waited for the Holy Spirit to speak to him.

He saw a sword that grew bigger and it slayed a skeleton to pieces. And the verse that appeared in the sword is 'I will be with you wherever you go, Joshua 1:9."

Love (Joshua 1:9) produces faith that extinguishes the fiery darts that come against you.

From that day onwards, he broke free from the fear of skeletons.

The Word delivers when the Word becomes real to you. Hearing from God without the Word can result in unstable faith, tossed around by every circumstance. 

But hearing from God with the Word builds an unwavering faith that is stable in every situation.

I have seen too many strong prophetic people who are weak in the Word. I don't think it has to be the way.

My desire is to build a strong foundation of the Word in my son's life so that he can move in the power of the Spirit that is based on truths.

Genealogies (Curses)

Genealogies (Curses)

Generation curses are not biblical. In fact, it is not even found in the Old Testament, though most teachings on this topic gather their verses from the Old Testament.

What we could see in the Old Testament is simply negative parenting/modeling resulting in repeated behaviours of the future generations.

Paul was determined to teach the Gospel of Christ. This is what he said to Timothy...

"...you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐬, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. - 1 Tim 1:3-4

The word 'genealogies' in Greek refers to 'tracing by generations'. Titus 3:9 says that it is useless and worthless.

Why? It promotes speculations rather than the stewardship (aka administration) from God that is BY FAITH.

If we continue to teach and believe in generation curses, we are tracing by generations, promoting speculation rather than the Gospel of Christ which is walked and lived BY FAITH.

There is so much authority and power in Christ delegated to every believer. We need to stop finding excuses for our behaviours and patterns because the past generations have NO HOLD on us if we decide to walk differently.

Fallen From Grace

Fallen From Grace

"You have fallen from grace."

This is a phrase we hear over and over again when a spiritual, public figure's sin is exposed.

But this is not Bible.

To fall from grace is to not about sinning and missing the mark. To fall from grace is to go after works and live by the Law.

You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace. - Gal 5:4

This is the only passage in the Bible that talks about falling from grace. You can't fall from grace regardless of how you sin. Because when you were a sinner, His grace reached out to you. 

The only way to fall from grace is to depend on your works, achievements and ministry performance. Because you turn Christ into a religion.

You and I can never fall from grace if we continue to cling onto Christ as our salvation. The public figures in ministries might have sinned (just as you have sinned), but they can never fall from grace if they keep holding onto Christ.

The sin that the public figures committed is no different from the sin that we committed. Theirs are exposed publicly. Ours are kept privately. If we get the chance to be exalted to their position, ours will be exposed publicly.

The fact that we are surprised by the sins of those prominent, public figures only reveal one thing ----- we exalted them beyond Christ. We worshiped them unknowingly. Our eyes failed to focus on the God of Man. Instead, we focus on the Men of God.

If we truly understand identity, everyone is on the same level playing field, regardless of whether you are a pastor, prophet, evangelist, apostle or whatever public figure. There is no exaltation and elevation needed except Christ and Christ alone. Period.