To The UV Community

To The UV Community

Over the past 3 years, I have had individuals contacting me as they have left their churches due to V. They were hurt and disappointed with their pastors and leadership.

There are many more as I see and hear from various groups.

I can share this as one whose family is completely UV; who went through the discrimination; the insane lock-down from entering any location; buying our field chairs and table to eat in the park and open field; prevented from entering a church service when a church is supposed to walk in faith and power, etc.

We forgave. Forgiveness is not a choice. It's a command. When we see the Cross, we know that Grace is present to forgive everyone.

For the UV Christian community, I would say this, "No church is perfect. The moment you enter, a perfect church becomes imperfect." 

Forgive your pastors. Forgive your leaders. They do not know better. They are just as 'humans' as we are. When we get hurt by them, it's because we unknowingly worship them. They are no better than anyone in the eyes of God. They are not more holy, nor more powerful than any son and daughter of God. They are just given a function to work in His kingdom and are just doing the best that they know how.

It's good to go back to your community. You are there for Christ and because of Christ. Don't let a pastor's/leader's mistake become the source of your rebellion. We are submitted to Christ and His kingdom.

Let's not do things for the sake of rebellion. Rebellion is witchcraft in the Bible.

For me, I'm wired the way I am by God. It is not just about the V. My wife has always joked that I'm weird and do things different from people.

The difference between my wife's age (she's my senior) and mine broke social norms. We chose homeschooling and it broke social norms. We are a UV family and it broke social norms. We left institution (not because we are hurt by leadership) and it broke social norms. The way I do things broke social norms, not that I purposely wanted to, but there are things that I see differently. I can honestly share that it is not rebellion.

I sat with a group of pastors and leaders in a meeting and I felt totally out of place, because the ministry conversations were totally different from my understanding of ministry ever since I understood the Kingdom. It felt weird especially when I had been in full-time church ministry.

I preached in churches and some never invited me back again because I would say that my theology on healing wrecked theirs and they couldn't accept it.

That's who I am. I'm glad though, that there are a few crazy ones whom I know personally too.

I haven't gone back to an institution, not because I want to rebel, but there is nothing out there that I fit in. I don't want to create an issue with the things I do if I were inside an institution, such as entering funerals trying to raise the dead (if the family permits). But I'm still in a community. And I still send my son to a church service because he wanted to go.

Therefore, I encourage us... the UV believers... return to your community (if it fits you) and forgive your pastors and leaders. The grace of God be with you all.

Relationships & Truth

We are relational beings. And since love covers multitudes of sins, the deeper our relationship is with others, the more we are willing to overlook their wrongs.

This is why we are quick to judge outsiders and slow to recognise the weaknesses and wrongs of those closer to us.

I would say that if we don't have a deeper relationship with someone, be slow to point out what we think is wrong. Because what we think might not be what it is, in the absence of relationship and communion. We often misinterpret what the person is saying because of a lack of true understanding.

On the other hand, we need to point out what is wrong with the person whom we have deeper relationship with, by taking a step back and observe what is truth. We tend to overlook that in the presence of familiarity.

While Jesus is Love (1 Jn 4:8), He is also Truth (Jn 14:6). This is why Paul taught us to speak the Truth in Love (Eph 4:15).

Because if we truly love someone, we need to let him know the truth. This is regardless of his status, whether he is a CEO, a Senior Pastor, a high ranking official, etc.

If we only give truths to those who are not "higher" in function/role than us, it's not biblical love. It comes from a condescending spirit, rooted in the fear of men.

There is a healthy tension between relationships (love) and truth. When we want to be quick to judge someone, ask, "Do I need to build a deeper relationship with the person first?" 

When we have a deeper relationship with someone, ask, "Are there truths that I should speak to the person but have overlooked them?"

The Struggle Of Parenting Gen Alpha

The Struggle Of Parenting

As homeschooling parents, we have purposed to do things different from social norm. We want to impart good values to our kid (though we are not perfect). This is the reason for homeschooling in the first place.

For J, it is sometimes, a struggle to break away from his circle of homeschooling friends. Yes, we need to keep finding the right community. Most of his male friends, despite homeschooling, are stuck with both handheld (including mobile) games and console games.

We have been intentional in avoiding/delaying J from those stuff. Yet when he's with his group of friends at homeschooling lessons/activities, he couldn't help but feel lonely, because he couldn't play them, and thus, could not connect on those topics. There were many times when he felt left out as he shared with us.

Once someone takes out the mobile device, the whole social communication/interaction vanishes. The rest of the boys will all focus on the mobile games.

Welcome to Gen Z and Gen Alpha where social media & games (for boys) are everything. The set of struggles for girls will be different from boys.

We cannot blame the homeschool parents, for the role of homeschooling mums are most tiring as compared to SAH mums and working mums. I say this in general.

SAH mums whose kids go to schools have the best privilege of daily "me" time and self-cares. Again, I say this in general.

Working mums have the privilege of taking a break from their kids.

Homeschooling mums are constantly revolving around the kids. There is no daily "me" time or regular breaks from the kids. The engagement is almost 24/7. By the time when the kid goes to bed, the mum is already exhausted.

This is the reason why we cannot fault homeschooling mums for allowing their kids to play mobile/console games. Because when the kids' attention is drawn away from the mum, the mum is able to take a breather and rest.

It will be so easy for us to simply let J play mobile/handheld games. It makes our lives way easier. It removes the struggle of him trying to fit in with his circle of friends.

But we need to be firm and unwavering. We need to remind ourselves the purpose of homeschooling. The pressure and social conformity might be strong in this nation, but how we navigate this as parents, and how we build tenacity and values in our child is true empowerment.

We are empowering him for the future. We are empowering him to say "No" to what is not beneficial. We are empowering him to resist temptations. We are empowering not to be conformed, but to reform. We are empowering him to be a leader, not a follower. We are empowering him to be different from the majority so that he can go after God and the narrow path, even if it is difficult.

The struggle is real at times, but we must look beyond the present into the future. We cannot mould him into what we want him to be. But we can provide the platform for him to step into who he could be. By His grace.