Birds & Bees

Birds & Bees

Two weeks ago, I felt prompted to talk about birds & bees with J. I had always wanted to be the one to share with him, instead of having the school to do so. For the law of the first mention is the most important factor.

When I told my wife, she felt that J is too young to know about it, since the school curriculum usually introduces around 10-11 years old.

Nonetheless, on the same day when I brought to her attention, someone passed us a few books while clearing her house. One of them happened to be “Birds & Bees”.

I knew it’s time, for the time is not determined by age, but by the Spirit. However, I did not look at the book. Few days ago, I went Google to search a number of resources on this topic. They were very systematic, yet age-based. I found my eyes on a set of Christian resources on Amazon but decided to put them on hold.

Today, I was suddenly inspired by the Holy Spirit to talk to J about it. No textbook. No resources. I simply opened my mouth and had a heart-to-heart talk with him.

We spoke about the organs (and their names) that define a man and a woman; why they are also known as the private parts; calling a spade a spade; sperms, ovaries, etc. Most importantly, we covered Genesis and the 8 important covenants in the Bible and why marriage is a covenant.

When I talked about how God cut the covenant with Himself in Abrahamic Covenant, J was amazed with the smoke and the burning torch that passed between the pieces of sacrifices. When I pointed that to the New Covenant with Jesus on the Cross, J immediately exclaimed, “I know! Jesus cut the covenant with Himself!” That came straight from revelation.

Finally, we touched on birds and bees in the context of covenant within a marriage where blood is shed. He finally realised how millions of sperms could enter and swim to meet the egg, with one fertilising it.

Note: He kept asking how the sperms could get there, so you have to explain the whole story.

I have come to realise that such education is not an event. It is a process that has to be re-iterated and taken deeper as time goes by. But the law of the first mention is crucial because I could say to him, “If anyone tells you otherwise and what he says is different from the Bible, he is wrong. Because I love you most as your parent, you can trust me.”

Mission a̶c̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ just started. More to come.

P.S: I said, “If anyone says ‘shame shame’ when it comes to body parts, you say, ‘No. It’s not. God created them.’ “

Stem Robot

The little boy assembled this moving stem robot with solar panel. So proud of him‼️ #homeschooling

Discipleship & Parenting

Discipleship and parenting are similar in many ways. 

If we are not intentional in parenting, if we only use the spare energy and spare time to parent our child, we will produce “pew-warmers”.

There is no free growth without sacrifice.

P.S: There is no middle ground either. A disciple/child is either influenced by God or the enemy.

Fathering & Sonship

Fathering & Sonship

I especially love this shot taken by my wifey.

J isn't walking behind me following my footsteps. He's walking with me step by step as he looks up at me.

We are not walking behind the Father. We are supposed to walk WITH the Father.

“Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner." - John 5:19

The Father models for us as we look up to Him. Because He is perfect, we learn perfection (but not perfectionism) by beholding Him.

The one who can impact my son the most is me. Not the teacher; not the church; not an idol; not a cartoon character, etc. It's always the child's parents. 

Therefore, my first responsibility is not fathering. My first responsibility is to be a son before the Father. Until I behold Him and behave like Him, I will not be able to father my son rightly.

Until I learn to walk in steps with Him, I will not be able to lead my son to walk in steps with me.

That must be our pursuit as fathers. How well we grow in sonship is how well we grow in fathering.

#throwback

You Become What You Are Exposed To

You Become What You Are Exposed To

When we are exposed to an environment long enough, we naturally become like that environment.

If we are exposed to one with top-down information, we eventually stop learning how to learn. The educational institution in Singapore is wired in that way. This has actually impacted Christianity in Singapore where many wait for top-down information for the Word of God instead of learning how to divide the Word properly.

If we are exposed to a non-authentic community, we eventually stop becoming our real selves. We mask ourselves and hide everything in order to be accepted in that environment. We learn to talk 'religious' and use the right lingo to display a form of holiness.

If we are exposed to a money-driven community, we eventually seek first the kingdom of mammon instead of Him. What we do reflects more and more like the world without realising that we have grown to be like them.

Whatever we are exposed to, we become, unless we intentionally align ourselves with the One on the inside. If it is already very challenging for adults, what more for children?

When we pulled J out of a certain environment (it is not a homeschooling group), we immediately notice the change in his behaviours within one week. That environment was a little toxic at times. J grew easily frustrated and became less obedient. After we made the decision to pull him out and let him be exposed to a healthier environment, he returned to himself ---- obedient and more patient.

Many people think that homeschooling will affect academics. I think it depends on what you mean by academics. At any time, we would prefer him to study life instead of studying subjects for the sake of passing exams.

At a recent co-ed Chinese group, the tutor highlighted the difference between teaching school students and homeschooling kids. The former group always seems tired and non-responsive, but the latter is responsive, curious to learn, and has their own interesting ways of thinking (plus rowdy of course!). The tutor was so impressed that she wanted to find out more about homeschooling.

Homeschooling destroys top-down information, non-authentic community (since he's exposed to the home where everything is authentic) and money-driven mentality (he's free to imagine and learn without being exam/result-oriented).

I'm not saying that we need to homeschool our kids (though I am a strong advocate for that). But we can learn the importance of being exposed to the right environment, even as adults.

What kind of environment do you deliberately choose to be exposed to?