The Next Generation

The Next Generation

Alot of God-things ended with the first generation. The second generation often dropped the baton.

I believe the main key lies with fathering. This is why the Old Testament ended with the hearts of the fathering turning to the next generation and vice versa.

So many God's generals (Roberts Liardon) didn't have a second generation who walked in the same power or surpassed the first generation.

What is warred and fought for is usually stewarded better than what is simply handed over. Similarly, our first generation of leadership in the nation had to war and fight for the nation. But the next generation of leadership was simply given the power and privileges.

Moses fathered Joshua well, though Joshua didn't have his next generation. Yet we see a similarity. Both Moses and Joshua had to war and fight. It wasn't enough that Joshua witnessed Moses warring. Joshua needed to have his own warring (i.e. Jericho).

Fathering is not merely nurturing. We need to train our child to war and fight in the spiritual realm. We need to prepare them for battles. At times, we will need to let them go through battles without interference so that God-things do not end with the first generation.

Today's kids are given many privileges. These are not going to help them rise above us unless they are put through warring and fighting. 

True fathering is empowerment.

The Law Of First Mention

The Law Of First Mention

The Law of First Mention is not only a powerful principle in Bible interpretation, it is also a powerful principle for parenting.

Yesterday, my wife was talking to J about reckless cars on the road, and her concern for him.

He replied something that shocked me, "Mummy, I have not finished God's assignment on earth. God will only let me go after I have completed His assignment. So I won't die."

This is something that I shared with him long time ago ----- ONCE. He actually remembered it.

It reminded me that the Law of First Mention plays a vital part in the life of a child. If his teacher (apart from Mummy as the main homeschooling teacher) were to be the first to give him a piece of incorrect information, we have a challenging time to help him unlearn it. Even as his own parents.

This places a HUGE responsibility on us as parents. But God sees us "UP AND ON" (though I wasn't a St. Andrew's boy) to entrust us with such responsibility.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. - Prov 22:6

The phrase "the way" in Hebrew refers to "the journey or manner". It doesn't mean that we instruct a child what to do for his life. It has to do more with discipline ("train up") than instructing.

It points to the Way of Righteousness, and since Jesus is the Way (John 14:6) and we are to seek His Righteousness (Matt 6:33), to train up a child in the way he should go is to 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐬, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝.

The Law of First Mention has everything to do with knowing Jesus. Each time we release a piece of information on who Jesus is to our child, I believe that the Holy Spirit empowers our child to remember, so that he/she can apply when the situation arises.

It is only through this, that when a child grows old (even if the child goes astray at some point in life), he/she will NOT depart from Christ.

Keeping My Way Pure

Living in this world opens your eyes to the power of Mammon. All of life on earth is designed to distract us, because the prince of the power of the air is still at work.

Within a split second, thoughts can come into our mind and build envy if we do not seize them and take them captive.

"Why is it so easy for others to earn money nowadays?"

"What's the point of living in integrity when easy money comes if we just lie a little?"

"Wouldn't it be nice to earn more money so that my family and extended families can enjoy better as I provide more for them?"

"Why do we have to be prudent with finances here and there when others are spending as and when they like?"

As a real estate agent for coming to 10 years, I am surrounded by people with money and riches. This is the real estate culture. Everybody is pursuing wealth. Every seminar talks about wealth. Every testimony is about how top producers generate tons of commission.

As years go by, I find myself withdrawn more and more from attending all these talks, seminars and events.

Faith comes from hearing and hearing. Our hearing is thus, very important. It is so easy to succumb and fall into the same culture that you are constantly immersing yourself in.

In these 10 years, such thoughts (mentioned above) did try to enter into my mind once in a blue moon, especially in Singapore where the cost of living is high and the future remains unknown. 

This is why I cannot afford to have a day going without the Word of God.

How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. - Ps 119:9 NKJV

While the world tries to contaminate us, only the Word cleanses us.

I find more joy in following what You tell me to do than in chasing after all the wealth of the world. - Ps 119:14 TPT

Whenever I choose to do the Word, I experience the joy of salvation. Why do I do lifestyle evangelism and yet still set aside specific time to do outreaches? Because the joy that I walk in crushes every thought that comes from the pit of hell whispering about wealth.

I have seen so many succumbed to it. It doesn't matter whether you go to church service regularly or not. It doesn't matter whether you serve in church ministry regularly or not. What matters is that we continually pursue to have the Word of God hidden in our heart and growing in obedience in living it out.

Apart from that, there is no way to remain pure in this world.

When The Father Says "No"

If J asked me to get a certain toy for him and I replied, "No", he would approach the other Father for it.

Apparently, he knew that this Father is greater than his father. By track records, He answered every toy prayer ----- the desires of J's heart.

Either this Father spoke to J's father (he had to say "Yes" to this Father) to buy that specific toy, or this Father moved in the hearts of others to buy that toy for J.

J knows that God the Father always answers his prayer. And I'm pretty sure he's using this against his earthly father's "No".

Don't Let Puberty Define Your Child

My son came back with my lunch - Mc Spicy meal. He insisted to pay with his own money, despite that wifey was with him.

He said to his mum, "Papa always buys Mc Chicken meal for himself even though he likes Mc Spicy, because he finds Mc Spicy expensive. But he always gets better meal for me. So I want to buy him what he likes to eat."

It was the best Mc Spicy meal that I have eaten.

My son is going through puberty. Who says that every child must behave the same in their puberty years? Who says that Inside Out 2 should define our child?

I say that Christ defines our child. We are in the world, but not of the world. If we behave as the world, we have rendered Christ of no effect in us.

Puberty does not define our child. But if we think that it's normal, we are the ones who have defined our child. The way we see our child will become the definition of his behaviours.

May we see our child as Christ sees.

Invitation To Church Christmas Service

So my son's homeschooling friend invited him for youth Christmas service at HOGC on my birthday, when we were supposed to have a family lunch. He probably thinks that J has backslided like me 😜😆 and wanna get him to slide back on Christmas.

J immediately replied him, "I can't. It's my dad's birthday on that day." And he told me about it.

I responded, "No. It's okay. I want you to go and experience it. And when the team leader and the people ask you, 'Which church are you from?' You tell them, 'I am the church.'"

My wifey overheard the conversation and interrupted, "You don't teach him to scare people off leh. They will think your son is weird."

Joke aside, I was personally blessed by Ps How when he took time to meet me and my wifey personally (over a period of time) at the early stage of my full-time church ministry work more than a decade ago. I wasn't from his sheep pen, but he had kingdom mentality to empower young ministers regardless of which church they are from.

He gave me the opportunity to sit in his staff meeting, looked at his staff office and learnt from his administration.

When I left full-time church ministry, he sent his pioneer leader to meet with me and find out how I was doing.

While theology might differ, love wins. His humility and genuine empowerment reveal his heart for the younger and the young generation.

So while I'm not into a church institution, I'm for my son to experience what is in an institution so that he can understand the differences when it comes to the Kingdom of God.

Parenting Without Separation Anxiety

Parenting Without Separation Anxiety

When J was born, we didn't allow the parenting school of "separation anxiety" to teach us how to parent a child. In my personal opinion, the heavenly Father does not do that to us, therefore, we decided to steer clear of some good parenting advice.

Many believe in letting the little one cry by leaving him alone, until he learns to be independent and sleeps on his own. But we beg to differ because we must align the physical with the spiritual.

The Father doesn't leave a newborn Christian to cry on his own so that he can be independent. So what makes us think that we should do it on the earthly realm?

J slept with us in the same room and on the same bed since he was born. We wanted him to feel fully secure by our presence.

J was also breastfed until 5 years old. Kudos to my wifey! People are usually concerned that it's harder to wean off at an older age and the withdrawal symptoms would be significant.

Few months before he reached 5, we began to consistently and regularly prepare him by our words. We kept saying, "J, when you reach 5, you will stop breastfeeding."

On his 5th birthday, we stopped on the dot. That night, he cried for a short while, before going to bed. The next day, he was completely normal in his usual self. It didn't take effort for him to be weaned.

When he first went to the childcare and the toddler's service in church, we didn't just 'throw' him into it and left him to cry. We went with him and stayed with him for a few times, ensuring that he could always see us, because we never leave him nor forsake him.

He was eased into the new environments naturally and smoothly without feeling any separation anxiety. This has been the rule of our household: Presence supersedes presents.

Few months before he moved to the new house, at the age of 11, we began to consistently and regularly prepare him by our words. We kept saying, "J, when we move to the new house, you will sleep in your own room and bed."

On the night when we moved in, he gave us a night hug, and went to his own room and bed to sleep. There was no struggle. He successfully did it again.

He's reaching 12 and going through puberty. He still holds my hand in the public. We still hug and kiss, undefiled by the culture of this Asian world between a father and a son.

The Father in heaven never leaves us nor forsakes us. He is Jehovah Shammah. Separation anxiety is not in God's dictionary. The only time it happened was on the Cross when the Son cried out "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

He cried that, so that today, you and I can rejoice, "My Father, My Father, You NEVER leave me NOR forsake me."

And we can do the same to our little ones as we parent them, not conforming to the pattern of this world, but with a renewed mind according to the pattern of heaven.

The Practical Aspects of Homeschooling

The Practical Aspects of Homeschooling

While homeschooling has plenty of benefits, there are some important and practical aspects of homeschooling which are often not discussed or shared by the homeschooling community.

1) Significant drop in household income

Since it is compulsory for the main homeschooling parent to resign from her work, your household income will drop 50% (more or less depends on the partner's income).

It can be even more challenging if the sole bread winner doesn't have a monthly (regular) income. Ahem, talking about myself LOL.

2) Change In Lifestyle

Since your household income will drop drastically, you will need to have discipline, self-control and change your spending habits. You will start looking for what is valuable instead of getting what you like. You cannot afford to live for yourself.

You cannot be going overseas every now and then. You cannot be buying a bigger property due to one income's loan eligibility. More so if you suffer a hairline cut if you are not a salaried worker.

You cannot be going into cafes and restaurants regularly, especially when the overall cost of living in SG is extremely high as compared to other nations.

There is a price to pay for homeschooling. Count the cost and pay it.

3) Loss Of Personal Freedom

As your child is stuck to you 24/7, you won't have much personal freedom. Technically, he doesn't go to school.

The main homeschooling parent will spend most of her time with the child.

If you think of having regular, frequent dates with your partner, you can throw that thought away.

4) Homeschooling Costs Much More

Primary and secondary education in SG are heavily subsidised. Not for homeschooling though. You don't get subsidies for anything.

Not for books and materials.

Not for any course or lesson.

Not for MOE subsidised materials including technology, software, etc.

Not for meals (aka canteen in schools).

You pay for everything. And since a homeschooling child cannot be stuck at home without social circles, you pay for activities. You pay for sports where they are free in schools. You pay for science lab experiments where they are free in schools.

You pay for enrichment classes if the main homeschooling parent cannot cover every single topic / subject. I doubt anyone can cover it all, as it gets tougher in upper Primary.

5) MOE Curriculum

Yes. You can use any curriculum you want for your child, as long as it is approved by the Compulsory Education Department.

However, PSLE is a holy, divine, invisible sacred cow in Singapore that cannot be killed. Because of that, you still find yourself having to do MOE curriculum at some point.

It will be helpful if the main homeschooling parent is a trained teacher (Ahem, talking about my wife). Otherwise, you will need to put in extra effort to learn and teach. Alternatively, you can pay more to outsource further, which will increase your cost even more.

6) Teaching Your Own Child

When the teachers teach in a class, nobody argues with them. But when you teach your own child, he won't see you as a teacher. He sees you as his parent.

In other words, he's going to argue with you. He's going to post you questions. He's going to ask all the why's.

While it's 1-to-1 lesson, you will still lose your patience. You will get frustrated. You will have good and bad days. On good days, you get the work going. On bad days, you don't get anything done.

What you plan in the schedule often won't materialise, because you are not dealing with a robot. You are dealing with your child who can get distracted, unmotivated, etc.

In short, you have to handle all spectrums of emotions.

7) Most Homeschoolers Are Not Academically Excellent

Most homeschoolers (during primary and secondary years) are not academically excellent, as compared to those school kids from top schools. They catch up, however, at a later stage during tertiary years.

The reason is very simple. If your focus is having an academically excellent child, you won't be doing homeschooling in the first place. You will be the typical kiasu / kiasi / FMO Singaporean parent / tiger mum who drills your child in every subject, with plenty of tuition and enrichment classes.

We choose homeschooling because we do not want to go that route. Academics is not everything in life. You can be extremely learned but have no wisdom in life. You can study very well and produce great academic results, but still do not know how to live a purposeful life.

These are some practical and important aspects for you to consider before embarking on homeschooling. Having said that, the benefits outweigh the costs. So please, stay v̶a̶c̶c̶i̶n̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ tuned for the benefits, which I will share again as I did in many posts before.

Real Humility

This is really simple to discern. In my encounters with so many people, whether in the marketplace or the church, there are too many who do not know their identity.

When one appears to exalt and honour some but ignores others, he doesn't know his identity as a child of God. He can preach it, appears to live in it, but still doesn't know it until humility is manifested.

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that HE HAD COME FROM GOD and was going back to God, rose from supper. - John 13:3-4. And Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.

Humility has to do with sonship because only a child of God trusts His Father enough to humble himself before everyone.

In the world that we live in, we really have enough of social media personalities. We need sons of God to be manifested, not just in power, but in humility by treating everyone with honour.

Benefits of Homeschooling

One of the benefits of homeschooling is that the child can be who he is, without trying too hard to conform to others due to peer influence/pressure.

In a school setting, a child is "forced" to grow up and conform to the image of others, in order to fit into his social circle, be accepted and well-liked. Well, this is the norm of every human being, apart from walking in the identity of sonship ----- acceptance.

It's extremely challenging especially among the new generation in the nation of Singapore. I won't dare to say that it's simple as believers.

But my wife and I knew this and we chose a different path for our child.

Last night, my son (going through puberty) came to hug me from the back as I was doing some work. He rested his face on my shoulder. I paused from what I was doing, and kissed him. This made me reflect and thus, wrote this post.

I love it whenever he hugs me. And I love to hug him too. I do not know how long this would last. But I would love it to be as long as possible.

I know it would be different if he were to go to school. The school culture, though unspoken, equates puberty with a tad of shame and embarrassment. Hugging and kissing by parents are generally a No-No and fret upon by these growing teens.

But my wife and I have the privilege to journey with him through the puberty process without any shame or embarrassment. We believe that it will be different from cultural, social and worldly norms because we homeschool him.

He's a lovely boy who holds my hand and stays close to me when we are out in the streets. Most boys in puberty will try to avoid that. But I personally don't believe that this is not possible between a father and a son. We are called into intimacy just as God the Father and us are.

Of course, he does the same to my wife, who is the opposite gender.

This is one benefit of homeschooling that I would not trade for anything else. No amount of material wealth can replace this rich treasure.

If you are exploring homeschooling, this post is for you. You will never regret extending your parenting through this process.

Father's Day

Father's Day 

Last night, J felt great discomfort in his tummy, had a headache and was trembling. We suspected that it was the dessert that he ate after dinner.

I was listening to a message in the living room when he came out of the bedroom, asking me to pray for him as he felt like vomiting. I did what I normally do. Then he laid on my lap. 

As usual, mummy would always be worried. So I told her to return to the bedroom as he would be fine. 

He listened to what I was listening and soon fell asleep on my lap.

This morning, he woke up completely well. Wifey said to him, "J, this is God's healing." He replied, "Yes."

It takes great comfort when your own son knows where to find comfort when he is unwell. Coming to me and resting in my presence is his source of healing and health.

Eventually, he has to find comfort and rest in God's presence as his source of healing and health. Because God has no grandchildren. When we run to Him to find comfort and rest, the Father is extremely delighted.

You and I represent the Father in heaven. The greatest connection between our child and the invisible Father is us. While we are not perfect, it is not an excuse to stay imperfect.

On Father's Day, I was reminded that the best gift is my son, and the greatest assignment given by God is to be a father.

Sometimes we are more excited with the 'church ministry' than fathering our own child. Because the former is publicly seen and recognised while the latter is unseen & unrecognised.

If this is true for you, you are no different from the first Adam (effects of the Fall) and is still lost in identity. Jesus was beaten and marred beyond human recognition so that you and I can have the Father's everlasting recognition.

If our recognition truly comes from the Father, we will not try to perform and achieve more publicly than fathering our child privately. The world continues without you, but your child needs you as the father.

P.S: If every father fathers the child passionately, we honestly don't need any more church ministry.

Identified With Christ, Not Sin

Identified With Christ, Not Sin

The Old Covenant reminds you of your sins, because your conscience is evil (Heb 10:2-3). You live each day conscious of your sins. It keeps you bringing daily sacrifices to God, where you realise that you are sinful and helpless.

The Old Covenant points you to the need of a Saviour, Jesus Christ.

The New Covenant reminds you of your righteousness, because your conscience is perfected (Heb 10:22). You live each day conscious of the Son. It keeps you bringing daily thanksgiving to God, where you realise that you are a beloved son and victorious.

The New Covenant points you to who you are in Christ and who He is in you.

But as it is, He has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself. - Heb 9:26

The word 'put away' in Greek means 'annulment', 'rendered no longer in effect'.

Christ offered Himself once and for all to annul sin and render sin no longer in effect. This is why it is impossible for God to punish you for sins. This is called Double Jeopardy.

Your sickness is not a punishment from God.

Your loss of loved ones is not a punishment from God.

Your trauma is not a punishment from God.

Your pain, rejection and abandonment is not a a punishment from God.

Your town facing natural disaster is not a punishment from God.

Not everything in your life happens for a reason or a good purpose. Stop believing in these religious lies. There is another world (called the kingdom of darkness) at work. It's bent at destroying you. And it is not God.

Because sin has been dealt with (Heb 9:27-28), it is no longer in you. You can't make any further sacrifice/offering for your sins, because it would then be a reminder that your conscience had not been purified by the works of Christ on the Cross.

Instead, if you stumble, remind yourself of who you are in Christ. Thank God for a good and clear conscience that is completely free from guilt, so that you can walk as close to Him as possible. 

The most secured son walks the closest to the Father.

Your Conscience Is Perfected

Your Conscience Is Perfected

According to this arrangement, gifts and sacrifices are offered that cannot perfect the conscience of the worshiper... - Heb 9:9

The Old Covenant could not perfect our conscience. Hence, the New Covenant had to be introduced by God (Heb 8).

In the Greek, the word 'conscience' used in Heb 9:9 refers "to perfect one that his own conscience is satisfied, i.e. that he can regard himself as free from guilt."

In other words, if your conscience is perfected, you are free from guilt, because you no longer need to have any consciousness of evil aka sin.

Since Christ has perfected our conscience (Heb 10:22), we can live everyday free from guilt because we are free from the consciousness of sin.

People say that you need to be conscious of your sins so that you can confess your sins and ask God for forgiveness.

You are not forgiven because you cried, felt sorry, confessed your sins, or repented, or even uttered a sinner's prayer. You are forgiven because Christ's blood was shed on the Cross. (Heb 9:22)

Confession is to acknowledge and agree with what God said. And what God said about you is what He did through Christ.

Repentance is to turn away from the consciousness of you and step into the consciousness of Christ. It's to turn away from the consciousness of sin and step into the consciousness of Son.

This is why it's called changing your mind. You remove yours and change to the mind of Christ.

When we believe that Christ has perfected our conscience and we can live free from guilt everyday, we are walking in repentance.

This is a precious gift in the New Covenant. Don't go back to the obsoleted covenant.

To The UV Community

To The UV Community

Over the past 3 years, I have had individuals contacting me as they have left their churches due to V. They were hurt and disappointed with their pastors and leadership.

There are many more as I see and hear from various groups.

I can share this as one whose family is completely UV; who went through the discrimination; the insane lock-down from entering any location; buying our field chairs and table to eat in the park and open field; prevented from entering a church service when a church is supposed to walk in faith and power, etc.

We forgave. Forgiveness is not a choice. It's a command. When we see the Cross, we know that Grace is present to forgive everyone.

For the UV Christian community, I would say this, "No church is perfect. The moment you enter, a perfect church becomes imperfect." 

Forgive your pastors. Forgive your leaders. They do not know better. They are just as 'humans' as we are. When we get hurt by them, it's because we unknowingly worship them. They are no better than anyone in the eyes of God. They are not more holy, nor more powerful than any son and daughter of God. They are just given a function to work in His kingdom and are just doing the best that they know how.

It's good to go back to your community. You are there for Christ and because of Christ. Don't let a pastor's/leader's mistake become the source of your rebellion. We are submitted to Christ and His kingdom.

Let's not do things for the sake of rebellion. Rebellion is witchcraft in the Bible.

For me, I'm wired the way I am by God. It is not just about the V. My wife has always joked that I'm weird and do things different from people.

The difference between my wife's age (she's my senior) and mine broke social norms. We chose homeschooling and it broke social norms. We are a UV family and it broke social norms. We left institution (not because we are hurt by leadership) and it broke social norms. The way I do things broke social norms, not that I purposely wanted to, but there are things that I see differently. I can honestly share that it is not rebellion.

I sat with a group of pastors and leaders in a meeting and I felt totally out of place, because the ministry conversations were totally different from my understanding of ministry ever since I understood the Kingdom. It felt weird especially when I had been in full-time church ministry.

I preached in churches and some never invited me back again because I would say that my theology on healing wrecked theirs and they couldn't accept it.

That's who I am. I'm glad though, that there are a few crazy ones whom I know personally too.

I haven't gone back to an institution, not because I want to rebel, but there is nothing out there that I fit in. I don't want to create an issue with the things I do if I were inside an institution, such as entering funerals trying to raise the dead (if the family permits). But I'm still in a community. And I still send my son to a church service because he wanted to go.

Therefore, I encourage us... the UV believers... return to your community (if it fits you) and forgive your pastors and leaders. The grace of God be with you all.

Relationships & Truth

We are relational beings. And since love covers multitudes of sins, the deeper our relationship is with others, the more we are willing to overlook their wrongs.

This is why we are quick to judge outsiders and slow to recognise the weaknesses and wrongs of those closer to us.

I would say that if we don't have a deeper relationship with someone, be slow to point out what we think is wrong. Because what we think might not be what it is, in the absence of relationship and communion. We often misinterpret what the person is saying because of a lack of true understanding.

On the other hand, we need to point out what is wrong with the person whom we have deeper relationship with, by taking a step back and observe what is truth. We tend to overlook that in the presence of familiarity.

While Jesus is Love (1 Jn 4:8), He is also Truth (Jn 14:6). This is why Paul taught us to speak the Truth in Love (Eph 4:15).

Because if we truly love someone, we need to let him know the truth. This is regardless of his status, whether he is a CEO, a Senior Pastor, a high ranking official, etc.

If we only give truths to those who are not "higher" in function/role than us, it's not biblical love. It comes from a condescending spirit, rooted in the fear of men.

There is a healthy tension between relationships (love) and truth. When we want to be quick to judge someone, ask, "Do I need to build a deeper relationship with the person first?" 

When we have a deeper relationship with someone, ask, "Are there truths that I should speak to the person but have overlooked them?"