Maturity Is Built On Responsibility

Our son was appointed the leadership role in his class by his form teacher. 

He has actually shown natural leadership in his homeschooling years. He simply loves to lead (and talk).

When he was being interviewed by his teacher, he gave a mature response when posted with this question, "As you were homeschooled, are you able to cope with the school environment and changes? What if you are not selected to be the leader?"

He replied, "That's fine, because I believe that there are always other opportunities in the school."

More than three weeks have passed since he took on leadership. He faced both praises and criticisms from his classmates.

We shared with him the quote by Bill Johnson, "If you don't live by the praises of men, you won't die by their criticisms."

As much as it hurts us for him to feel a tad sad for being criticised by others, we know that we have to equip him for life. We shared with him that leadership encompasses making unpopular decisions as long as they are right. It means that sometimes you might feel lonely in the journey because others might not fully understand. When nobody dares to speak up, you must speak up for what is true and right. But you will also need to show grace when others make mistakes and connect with others relationally. That doesn't mean that you are trying to please them, but that grace and truth marry one another.

The transition from homeschooling to mainstream education is not small for him. Neither is it for us. The only aspect which we are constantly looking out for is the joy in him. He's naturally a jovial boy. 

As of now, he is still enjoying the mainstream school. We pray that it will remain this way. Any environment that kills joy is a toxic environment that must not be tolerated. We have seen so many kids having their joy killed by our local education system, which is backward and not progressive.

Being strong in academic does not mean that you are smart or intelligent. It only means that you know how to study, but not necessarily know how to learn. Studying and learning are two very different things.

We initially wanted J to go to a place where there is more fun in learning and less in academic competition. But he chose to enter one that is strong academically. 

When he was young, we made decisions for him because a child has yet to grasp hold of consequences. But now that he's a teen, he is empowered to make decisions after knowing the consequences. Despite knowing that he has to spend more than two hours in travel daily and get less sleep each day, he persisted in his decision.

We love him so much. But we are not the kind that will send him to school everyday to pamper him. Today's children have been taught entitlement by their parents.

Life choices have consequences. Maturity is built on responsibility. We must empower him to be responsible and independent. 

Thus, we pray whenever we feel like we want to step in. So that we can re-align our purpose for his life.

The Fall Of Superstars

The Fall Of Superstars

In recent years, there were many superstars in the Church falling. Not long ago, it was Todd White and lately, Shawn Bolz. 

These were the people I respected.

I don't think they planned evil. But evil up caught with them. None of us is perfect. We stumbled and made mistakes along the way. Public figures, however, have public consequences. The 'bigger' you appear, the bigger the consequences.

The weaknesses in our lives are amplified when we go higher in social position. For example, if there is pride in our lives, the pride gets BIGGER when we attain greater popularity and are regarded as higher in social status.

There is no difference in the Church. If we talk about the Kingdom, there is no higher position since everyone holds the position of sonship. But if we talk about the Church, then there are different levels of social position/status. People tend to see preachers, prophets, pastors, etc as holding higher social positions.

The 'higher' we go... the more 'success' we have... the greater popularity we achieve, the less accountability we have and the more complacent we become.

This is the time when no one dares to point out our weaknesses, because of fear and respect. We start to think that we are really infallible; we deem that we are special and more spiritual (though we preach that we are equal in identity); we get treated well and we start to think that we deserve that treatment. All of a sudden, before we know it, everything spirals downwards.

Pride, then, amplifies. Weaknesses re-surface. This time, bigger and stronger. Because evil always waits for an opportune time. These were never dealt with in the past. At least not fully.

Fire is the way to test the purity of silver and gold, but the character of a man is tested by giving him a measure of fame. - Prov 27:21 TPT

Our character is not tested by fire. It is tested by fame. In other words, who we truly are is manifested when we obtain high social status and popularity.

Something also just happened to the real estate industry. Same principle. Same problem. Same consequence.

Whether it is in the church world or the secular world, this principle does not change. Success is the greatest test of character.

This means that we must constantly surround ourselves with people who can speak into our lives, and that we are receptive to, no matter how 'high' we have attained. Because when everyone around us becomes a "Yes" man to us, we are set for trouble to find us.

Oh this also applies to the lightning party. You are welcome.

Why Should You Have Children?

Still getting used to the reality that my wife and son are not around on weekdays (during daytime)

We have been together everyday for the past 6 years. 

Homeschooling impacts the whole family, not just our kid. I would say that it's a positive impact that you won't get elsewhere.

This might offend some but I will still say it. Truth always offends some. 

If we have His Love, it is impossible not to desire to have children because they are His gift. It's one thing to be unable to have (and this is fully understandable and there is totally no condemnation), it is another to make a decision not to have a child. 

When God said, "Be fruitful and multiply..." It was in the context of having children in order to populate the Kingdom on earth. 

Love always creates. Love overflowed from God to create Man and Woman. Love overflowed from Man and Woman to create children.

Man was created out of God's love. Thus, when a man and a woman come together in union, out of love, children are by-product of the overflow of love. God designed it this way from Creation.

This is why it all stems from His Love. If we have His Love, we will desire to have children.

The modern generation wants to avoid responsibility. They do not want kids. The matter of the fact is that this behaviour and thinking comes from the root of self-centredness. They rather have pets than kids, because pets are more obedient.

If God's love is based on our obedience, we are finished. He loves because He is Love. It is His nature. Our love for children is not based on their obedience. We love because He first loves us.

It is understandable when non-believers decide not to have kids. They don't know Him and His Love. But I believe that it is against the heart and the will of the Father when believers chose not to have kids. It is saying, "We do not want to bear and multiply Your image."

I shared this with my son a few days ago when he asked me the reason why people need to have kids.

We are living in a world where people no longer want to have kids. Cost of living is not an excuse for selfishness, because when there is a will, there is a way. It is impossible for God to abandon His children, and by children, I mean... your kids, because He has no grandchildren.

This post will either convict believers or offend them. Truth has no middle ground.

The joy of parenting is a God-kind of joy that reflects His relationship with us.

P.S: If you desire a kid but can't have it, there is still spiritual parenting, fostering and adoption (of which I think reflects the most about Romans 8).

A New Year, A New Beginning

A New Year, A New Beginning

2026 marks a new beginning for our family. We are moving off from homeschooling to the mainstream. J himself wanted to return to the mainstream and experience life with the schoolers. We respect his decision, though I feel a little reluctant as I know that I will miss his presence with the family 24/7. Anyway, as a father, I will still need to release him.

Having said that, we are ready to homeschool him for his secondary school years, if any unforeseen situation arises.

Homeschooling his primary school years was no small feat. Kudos to my wifey! The reason is that you cannot avoid the sacred cow of PSLE in Singapore. In other words, you cannot deviate too much from the local education syllabus. You cannot truly enjoy the goodness of learning for learning's sake.

Throughout these 6 years as a homeschooler, J had experienced his fair share of unfair treatments.

I always remind him, "Life is unfair. But God is always good. If we want life to be fair, we deserve hell. But Jesus saved us."

He understood this statement. Yet he kept encountering unfairness in his life despite putting in hardwork and diligence.

We don't teach him that hardwork and diligence equate to success. Because we know that it is often untrue in life. Elitism and wealth bring impartiality in life. That's the reality.

We teach him that God wants us to be diligent and faithful because it's the right attitude and character of the Kingdom. It doesn't always mean success in life in the world's definition.

However, in Secondary 1 school posting, we were surprised to discover an ugly truth. While homeschoolers are unable to participate in S1 posting exercise (we also don't have the S1 Portal), we didn't know that we would be treated as 'second-class' citizens during the school posting exercise.

During the oral exams for both languages this year, J experienced unfairness. There was one set of easy oral exam question for each language, while another set of difficult oral exam question for each language. The disparity is really great. He came out of the exam hall feeling a tad disappointed when he realised that his friends got the easy questions and they could answer easily.

This is the huge flaw of our local education system. It is political in nature (if you still didn't know) and is meant to sieve out the rest of the children from the elites aka the wealthy ones who have unlimited resources. It is never a level-playing field to begin with. And we already knew that years ago.

As a result, his PSLE results dropped from his usual standard, but we were still very proud of what he managed to do as a homeschooler. He was disappointed though, as he couldn't go to the school that he desired to go, which has a low COP of 6 points.

During the selection of schools, we discussed, listed the choices and submitted. To our surprise, J was not placed in the school where the COP is higher than his result. This ought not to be the case.

We found out that homeschoolers are placed based on vacancies, after the mainstream schoolers have been fully posted based on merits, choices and vacancies. In other words, there is no meritocracy involved. If you intend to homeschool, please note this important information.

We were indignant at such injustice. As parents, it broke our heart as we didn't want J to go through another unfairness in his life. Yes, life is always unfair but God is good. He knows this statement.

But we didn't want him to feel jaded in life as he had been working hard. We didn't want him to reach a place in life where he felt, "What's the point of being diligent in life?"

So we decided to fight for him. We spoke and wrote to the placement officer, but we received the typical govt robot answer. We wrote in to MOE and we received the same typical robot answer. We wrote in to the higher authority because we want them to know that this does not just concern our child, but the whole community of homeschoolers. Homeschoolers should NOT be treated as second-class citizens, below the PRs and foreigners in the mainstream schools. Since they always preach about meritocracy, we want them to keep to their words.

Don't just have plenty of public talks without following through with actions.

By God's grace, we received a call from the school. They granted J a place because his result was better than their COP.

This is the desire of J's heart. The next school that he always wanted to go. He was so delighted. We wanted him to know that God and his parents will always fight for him, because we love him.

Jesus!

Righteousness In Us For Justice

For everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. - Heb 5:13-14

Solid food refers to the word of righteousness. The more we train our mind (powers of discernment, which refers to the senses; in Greek, it is aisthétérion, which means the faculty of the mind and perception) on righteousness, the more we are able to distinguish good from evil.

At that time God enthroned the mind above all as the holy leader, through the medium of the senses. He gave a law to this mind, by living according to which it will maintain a temperate, just, good, and courageous reign. - 4 Macc 2:22-23

The Right-ness in us loves Justice and hates injustice.