His Strength, Not Ours

We bought a new family luggage today.

As the luggage has four wheels at the bottom, you can spin it. Jeshua saw how I spun it and he tried to do the same thing. Of course, he didn't know how to do it.

Nevertheless, as he tried to spin, I helped him to spin properly. To him, he was the one who spun it. But the matter of the fact is that I was the one who really spun it.

I think this is similar to what God the Father is doing. He allows us to partner with Him in His kingdom work. While we are trying to do our part, He is the One who is really doing the work.

It's all about His strength, not ours. This keeps our perspective right and enables us to live humbly and dependent upon Him.

Relying On Him

Jeshua had constipation yesterday. It wasn't his first time but it was the worst so far.

Carol and I were wondering why he was whining so much yesterday. In fact, I disciplined him, thinking that he was throwing quite abit of tantrum.

When we went to Shona's farewell BBQ dinner, Jeshua wasn't in his usual mood. He was active but not as active and cheery as his usual self.

It was only after we arrived home that he kept trying to defecate. But it ended in few episodes of crying because the stool was too hard. It pained our hearts to see him crying so badly. It must be really painful.

Brought him to 24-hr family clinic. The doctor inserted a medicated liquid through his anus. When we arrived home, the hard stool came out. After we showered him, he finally defecated. A lot of soft stool came out. Thank God!

I learnt a lesson through this incident. I can't base on my past experiences to judge what Jeshua is going through. I thought he was throwing tantrum and needed to be disciplined based on my past experiences. Yet apparently, it was due to his stomach discomfort.

I need to rely on the Holy Spirit continually. Each experience may be different. I can't base on the past to judge the present. If I had asked the Holy Spirit about Jeshua's behaviour, I might have handled him differently.

Teach me, Holy Spirit.

The Father Enjoys What You Enjoy

Two days ago, we bought Jeshua a new set of toy which consists of a few small cars. He was totally elated. Seeing that he was so delightful, my wife and I felt very joyful.

I realise that we enjoy seeing Jeshua enjoying what we give to him. If he likes it, we like it.

This is the same for our Father in heaven. When we like what He gives to us, He is happy. When we enjoy His gifts, He is overjoyed.

Jeshua shows us that he enjoys his toy by playing with it. Similarly, we enjoy God's gifts by using them. Each time we exercise the spiritual gifts like healing the sick, the Father is delighted.

Note: As we grow older, we tend to want new and 'better' gifts. We are no longer satisfied with small and old gifts. The giver has not changed. The gift has. If we focus on the gift, our joy will vary. But if we focus on the giver, our joy remains. Thus, being thankful for the gifts is what builds relationship with the Giver. When we stop being thankful for the gift, our eyes have set on the gift, instead of the giver.

One sure sign of thankfulness is by enjoying the gift God has given to us.

What Affects You Affects The Father

Recently, while my wife was carrying Jeshua to the bedroom, his head accidentally brushed against the door gently. He cried a little and I was very concerned. I told my wife, "Check it out and pray for his head." But my wife responded, "The head didn't really hit against the door. Just briefly brushed against it. Don't worry."

I realise that if what affects Jeshua affects me, what affects me affects the Father. That is nothing too small or insignificant that He is not concerned with.

Note: The sign of maturity is when what affects the Father affects us. That comes from knowing His heart and desire like Jesus did (John 5:19). I realise that Jesus didn't say and do what the Father said and did simply because of obedience. Jesus did that because His heart followed after the Father's. What concerned the Father concerned Jesus. This is far better than pure obedience. This is why Jesus did things with passion AND compassion.

Not Able To Draw Close

Today, I'm down with many runs of diarrhea and one round of vomitting. I'm not sure if it's gastric flu or food poisoning. It's unlikely to be food poisoning as I fasted the whole day yesterday.

Due to the possible virus, my wife said that I can't go close to Jeshua. This is miserable. I want to hug him, kiss him and carry him. I want to draw close to him.

I can imagine God the Father feeling miserable when He can't draw close to His children, not because He is not allowed to, but because they reject Him.

The Father longs to draw close to us in every single moment. We should always respond to His love.

Help Is Always There

Last night, Jeshua kept pulling my hand whenever he needed help to do something which he couldn't, i.e. tearing off a sticker that was stuck on a box, lifting up a translucent box, etc.

He knows that whatever he can't do, his Papa must be able to do it. He simply trusts in my ability.

This is something we need to always remember. Whatever we can't do, God is ABLE to do it. Help is always available. We just have to call upon Him.

He Woos Us

This is what happens whenever I am done with bathing Jeshua. I will come out of the shower cubicle, get his towel and stretch out my left hand towards him, requesting that he comes out of the shower cubicle while giving him support as the tiles are slippery.

Almost all of the time, he will act as if he didn't hear and he will continue to stay in the cubicle. I have to walk out of the shower room, say "bye bye" (If I simply say it without going out of the shower room, it won't work!) and return. Then I will stretch out my left hand towards him again before he holds my hand and walks out of the shower cubicle happily.

I don't understand why he responds in this manner. Until now, I still don't. I have yet to ask the Holy Spirit about it though.

But there is one thing I know - I will keep doing this as long as it works. I will keep "wooing" him in a way that he wants to be wooed.

It reminds me of how God the Father "woos" us. He will go an extra mile to do so, as long as we respond to Him. He doesn't just leave us alone (as what religious people will say). He gently and continually woos us until we respond to Him. What a loving Father we have!

Waiting On Him

Today, while my wife went to the toilet at Tampines One shopping mall, I was playing peek-a-boo with my son. He was sitting in his stroller but he pulled down the top flap to cover himself so that I couldn't see him. As he knew that I was playing peek-a-boo with him, he waited patiently for me to appear suddenly in front of him.

Waiting involves trusting. My son trusts that his Papa will play with him. This is what caused him to wait expectantly.

Very often, we fail to wait upon the Lord. The fact that we don't wait expectantly and patiently shows that we trust Him little. If we really trust Him, we will wait for Him to speak and/or respond to us.

God always speaks and responds to us. Thus, we can trust and wait for Him. 

God's Gift for Jeshua

When Jeshua was few months old, my wife and I noticed that he was particularly attracted to someone. He would want to be carried by the person whenever he saw her - even if it means to "neglect" his father and mother. We found it amusing at the beginning.

During church camp this year, Jeshua was attracted to another person whom he had never met before. We just walked past the person briefly and he wanted to be carried by her! We allowed him to do so for a while, as we were at the immigration centre. But when we tried to carry him back, he refused and cried badly. My wife and I were very surprised.

It was then that I realised that this person is a single mum. That night, my wife told me that she suspected Jeshua has a gift of discernment to reach out to those who are broken-hearted; to let them experience love when love is nowhere to be found. I nodded but said that we should continue to observe before confirming.

Recently, I remember that Jeshua was attracted to another person whom he met for the first time. I just discovered that this person also experienced pain and a certain degree of brokenness. It is a confirmation of the unusual gift that God has blessed Jeshua with.

Jeshua means "salvation and deliverance." I believe he is not just a joy releaser, but also one who reaches others with the love of Christ in order to bring healing and wholeness.

I'm very grateful and touched by God. Jeshua is now 19 months old. Help me to steward Jeshua's gift properly and train him to grow to his maximum potential.

Quick Response Is Important

Recently, when Jeshua was busy with his toys and stuff, he didn't respond to my voice; at least not until I called him by name for more than six times.

I'm not very happy with that.

I have decided to discipline him in this area when he grows slightly older (to understand my reason), if he doesn't respond to my call promptly. 

This is crucial. If he doesn't respond to his father promptly, he won't respond to God promptly when He calls him.

Delayed obedience is not obedience.

Trying

After bathing for Jeshua today, while I was dressing him up, I whistled a few times.

It caught me by surprise when he tried to imitate me. Of course, he didn't know how to whistle. But he made such a similar sound ("wooo...wooo...") that I couldn't help but burst out laughing!

It makes me think that God the Father must be extremely delighted when we try to do what He is doing. We may not get it right at our first few attempts, but God doesn't look at our performance. He looks at our heart. As long as we desire to do what He is doing, He is overjoyed!

When He Waits

Last night, I went to the hospital (NUH) for visitation.

My wife called and told me that Jeshua was looking for me. Apparently, after I sent them to Sengkang MRT and waved goodbye to Jeshua, he came out of Punggol MRT one station later, saying, "Papa" with his hand signaling that Papa is not around.

When he was at home, he was continually looking for me and calling "Papa". My wife recorded the audio and sent me. It was the sweetest voice I ever heard.

I came home from the hospital with Clement and Daniel to play with him. After they left, he was waiting for me (to take my shower) patiently on the bed and refused to sleep even though he was tired. The time was 11plus pm.

I set aside other things to lay beside him on the bed. It was then that he went to sleep.

The whole experience simply amazed me and it warmed my heart deeply.

I cannot imagine how God the Father feels when we choose to wait for Him. I believe that He is waiting for us to wait on Him. By simply turning our thoughts and affection towards Him cause Him to be overjoyed!

Past Experiences

I recalled a few times when I disciplined Jeshua and had to apologise to him afterward. Being a father has made me realise the importance of apologising to my toddler whenever I make a mistake. I am not perfect.

I tend to discipline Jeshua based on my past experiences with him. If I deem that he is simply throwing tantrum, I would first ask him to quieten down; if he doesn't do so, I will spank him.

I remember there was once when he kept crying loudly after his shower and he refused to let me dress him up. As I thought that he was throwing tantrum, I spanked his thigh, causing him to cry even louder. Little did I realise that he was actually in agony, because he had difficulty defecating. The hardened stool brought much pain to his anus. Of course, I apologised to him the moment I discovered the problem.

This reminds me the importance of not relying on past experiences but rather, be sensitive to the needs of Jeshua.

God the Father doesn't deal with us according to His past experiences with us. He knows us from the inside out. He understands all our ways and He is able to meet all our needs. There is so much to learn about His ability to be sensitive to what we are going through.

Help me, Father. I want to be discerning about the needs of Jeshua as I father him.

First Adventure With Son

Yesterday was the first time Jeshua watched me lay hands on the sick out there in the streets. I'm very amazed by his ability to stand beside me while I prayed for the uncle's legs, hips, back and shoulders.

Jeshua was the one who wanted me to bring him downstairs for a walk. As we were taking a stroll, an old man requested that I call Singapore Consumer Service on his behalf as he forgot to bring his phone. After calling and helping him to write down the address of the place, we had a short conversation as he was sharing with me about his ability to recover from sickness and burns through his own prescription of home medication.

As we were talking, I asked the Holy Spirit if there is anything I could pray for this uncle and He gave me a word of knowledge for his back. Found out that he was born with uneven hips and legs, which caused his back to be in frequent pain which comes on and off.

Got him to sit down and measured his legs. But to my surprise, his legs were fully aligned. The problem was with his hips. Prayed for him, while Jeshua stood beside me watching patiently (this is rather incredible because Jeshua would normally be moving around).

Didn't see visible movement on his hips. But after praying for his hips, back and shoulders, he told me that he felt very relaxed and comfortable. Thank Jesus.

Actually, I'm more excited about the fact that Jeshua was with me as I ministered to that uncle. I can imagine God the Father being exhilarated whenever we minister by looking at what He is doing.

John 5:19 - Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees His Father doing...

Just as God the Father is delighted when we look at what He is doing, I am delighted when my son looks at what I am doing.

Crying Out

These few days, Jeshua has been crying out for tidbits but I chose not to give him today.

He screamed and cried really loud. He even threw tantrum on the floor. But I firmly said, "No!" despite the fact that he cried even louder.

As a father, I know what is better for him. He needs to have proper meal rather than eating tidbits so frequently. So I kept saying, "No. Papa loves you. Too much tidbits are not good for your health."

As a toddler, he thinks that by crying louder and throwing more tantrum, he can get his way. Little did he know that his Papa will stand firm in his decision.

This reminds me of how often we Christians think that we can get God to answer our prayers by praying more, fasting more, doing more, etc. But as long as it's not in the will of God the Father, He will simply say, "No" regardless of our holy self-effort. We don't manipulate God to do our will. We don't bend His hands to do our will. He is God and He knows what's best for us.