A Child Must Be Motivated By Love, Not Fear

A Child Must Be Motivated By Love, Not Fear

In recent times, I found myself getting frustrated trying to get my message across to my son. It was way easier when he was young. At the age of 6, the nature of Adam has never been clearer than before. With a strong mind of his own, he will question, contend and decide if he should follow what I say.

Some kids, especially girls, are born to be submissive and follow the parents more easily. There are always two sides of a coin.

To look on the positive side, J definitely has leadership qualities. Having a strong mind is one indication of leadership as he is not easily moved by varying opinions. On the other hand, it also breeds disobedience (or delayed obedience), which must be trained from young.

Some train their kids obedience by using the cane, and/or scolding and/or punishment. This induces fear, which is not the way of our Father in heaven. Even if the child learns immediate obedience through those methods, the means does not justify the end. For we are imparting a wrong value to train obedience.

Personally, I believe that the Father always trains by love. While I do not always represent the perfect Father accurately, I was recently disturbed by the challenge to get my son listen and move according to what I say —— obedience before reasoning. It boils down to the word ‘trust’. There were times when I found myself raising my voice to get the message across. This is definitely not the right approach. It only shows that I lost control of my authority. 

Any parent who shouts / raises voice at their child reveals the inability to correctly appropriate their authority.

With this nudging my heart, I looked to the Father. A thought came to my mind and I decided to use it.

“J, if you think that Papa doesn’t love you, you can choose to do what you want. But if you think that I love you, listen to me.” He responded immediately with “okay” without reasoning and argument. This has been working thus far, because he knows that I love him.

Love is and must be the motivation for obedience.

You don’t really need to grow in the power of patient love when you are out there in the missions field, healing the sick and preaching the Gospel. But fathering will challenge us to represent Him more accurately each day, because it reveals our imperfection and the need to grow in this pursuit of godliness.

Jesus said, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth...” When all authority that is given to me is used for love, love becomes the greatest authority to move anyone. #fathering101

Homeschooling Journey Part 6

Homeschooling Journey Part 6

It is getting closer to the reality of homeschooling where the journey ahead is unknown yet exciting.

The CE Officer will be coming this week to do a home assessment and interview (about 2-3 hours) for our homeschooling application. There is no revision needed for the curriculum thus far. Pray for us to clear the last lap and get the approval as soon as possible.

We have gotten the shelves ready, as well as some books for J to begin his learning journey. This evening, he read 5 new books aloud (both fiction & non-fiction). Our hope is that he continues to cultivate the desire to read and learn. The day you stop reading is the day you stop learning.

On hearing that I would be embarking on homeschooling for my son, a non-believing friend (whom I seldom keep in touch with) called. He said, “Among all my friends, I realise that you are the one who really surprises me and the one who takes the most interesting road that is so different from majority.”

He asked, “So I’m curious... are you doing all okay financially to step into this?”

I replied, “I’m not there yet. But we have decided that finances cannot be the determining factor for our child’s learning journey.”

He said, “I know you. 你是打不死的.”

I grabbed this opportunity to share various stuff as well as some testimonies on why I chose homeschooling. Then I shared about my personal healing and Jesus, which intrigued him to talk about the subject of faith because he recently visited Vatican City.

I know God is drawing him as he enters the process of searching for relief and faith. I’ve sent him my book as his immediate boss is going through some health challenges.

I realise that the decision(s) we make not just have an impact on us. It also has an impact on others who are looking from afar. People want to know why you do what you do, especially when it differs from the majority. This is when we can give an answer to the Hope that we have and the reason why we alter our lives from taking the common path to walk in a path that requires faith, courage and boldness.

As believers, we need to walk out what we believe instead of simply saying. If we say that we believe in Him for our child’s education, but we are as kiasu as the world’s approach, then we have allowed the culture of the world to penetrate and change the culture of the kingdom within us. We either demonstrate heaven on earth or we don’t. There is no middle ground.

And may we not relegate heaven on earth to just miracles, signs and wonders. Heaven on earth is in every aspect of our practical living, which includes a child’s education. #homeschooling101