A Child Must Be Motivated By Love, Not Fear

A Child Must Be Motivated By Love, Not Fear

In recent times, I found myself getting frustrated trying to get my message across to my son. It was way easier when he was young. At the age of 6, the nature of Adam has never been clearer than before. With a strong mind of his own, he will question, contend and decide if he should follow what I say.

Some kids, especially girls, are born to be submissive and follow the parents more easily. There are always two sides of a coin.

To look on the positive side, J definitely has leadership qualities. Having a strong mind is one indication of leadership as he is not easily moved by varying opinions. On the other hand, it also breeds disobedience (or delayed obedience), which must be trained from young.

Some train their kids obedience by using the cane, and/or scolding and/or punishment. This induces fear, which is not the way of our Father in heaven. Even if the child learns immediate obedience through those methods, the means does not justify the end. For we are imparting a wrong value to train obedience.

Personally, I believe that the Father always trains by love. While I do not always represent the perfect Father accurately, I was recently disturbed by the challenge to get my son listen and move according to what I say —— obedience before reasoning. It boils down to the word ‘trust’. There were times when I found myself raising my voice to get the message across. This is definitely not the right approach. It only shows that I lost control of my authority. 

Any parent who shouts / raises voice at their child reveals the inability to correctly appropriate their authority.

With this nudging my heart, I looked to the Father. A thought came to my mind and I decided to use it.

“J, if you think that Papa doesn’t love you, you can choose to do what you want. But if you think that I love you, listen to me.” He responded immediately with “okay” without reasoning and argument. This has been working thus far, because he knows that I love him.

Love is and must be the motivation for obedience.

You don’t really need to grow in the power of patient love when you are out there in the missions field, healing the sick and preaching the Gospel. But fathering will challenge us to represent Him more accurately each day, because it reveals our imperfection and the need to grow in this pursuit of godliness.

Jesus said, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth...” When all authority that is given to me is used for love, love becomes the greatest authority to move anyone. #fathering101