In the last few days, J had been refusing to listen and obey to us immediately. He had his own thinking concerning some stuff. Thus, he would try to reason (argue) with us.
There is a place for reasoning, but there is a place for obedience. Not everything requires a clear understanding before obedience. Obedience must supersede understanding, for this is the way when it comes to the kingdom. We must not parent in a way that contradicts the kingdom values. There will be times when he doesn't understand why God wants him to do some stuff, but he has to act on obedience above understanding.
After disciplining him, we spoke to him while lying on the bed. He was pretty upset. We gave him a hug and said, "Papa and Mama love you."
Then we continued, "Is being disrespectful something Jesus would like?"
J: No. That's what satan wants.
Us: Is being disobedience something Jesus would like?
J: No. That's what satan wants.
Us: To refuse to listen... is it something Jesus would like?
J No. That's what satan wants.
Us: If you know that is the case, why do you still keep doing that?
J: But I'm trying... I'm trying not to.
Us: J, it's not about trying. You can't try to become better. It's not about using your own effort. You can try and keep trying, but you will not be able to change by trying.
Us: Do Papa & Mama love you?
J: Yes.
Us: Do we love you more than teachers and friends?
J: Yes.
Us: Then trust us. We love you and we want what is good for you. You can't try to obey... you can't try to listen to us by yourself. You cannot change by trying. You have to trust our love for you.
Us: Don't look to your ability to change. Look to Papa and Mama. Remember how much we love you. When you realise that, you will trust us naturally. And when you trust us, you will obey. You can only obey us IF you trust us and our love for you.
J nodded before he was put at ease to go to bed.
We are fathered by the Father through His love. We learn to trust Him because of His love. Obedience is born out of that trust. In the same way, we teach our child to trust us (his earthly father/mother) and our love for him. We need to break that self-effort and 'try-try-try' to change. It's impossible for a child to change by trying. It will get him exasperated or frustrated in the long run. #fathering101
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