Family Exploits

Excerpt from The Secret To Fathering

(Fathering Your Child & The Next Generation)

"We need more men to share on family exploits (parenting/fathering) instead of ministry exploits. The latter boosts men's 'achievement-oriented' ego, while the former is where the Kingdom flows.

The Kingdom begins with the family unit.

We have enough testimonies and examples of ministry work. The fact that men hardly talk about family exploits (parenting/fathering) proves that we tend not to focus on what we cannot achieve. We rather focus on public recognition and external affirmations instead of identity that comes from within (the family). This started from Adam and it is still part of the old man.

What we focus on will affect the culture around us. If we want to see a healthy family culture and the destruction of the enemy's agenda towards children and marriage, it begins from us ------ men in the family.

If you can't stop boasting but want to boast in some testimonies, it's time to talk about your family and fathering. If there is nothing to share, it is an encouragement for you to start spending time with your family and fathering your children, instead of giving your energy only in the public in order to get recognition and boost your ego.

Ministry work is no difference from secular work if the motivation is for achievement and recognition. It's a very thin line where nobody can see the difference by sight, but it can be perceived in the Spirit because God sees our heart.

Jesus was marred beyond human recognition on the Cross so that you and I can have His everlasting recognition.

Let's affect the culture around us by beginning with our own family culture."

Husbands

Husbands

God has His own set of ordinances. Exousia is His ordinance. The governing authority is His ordinance. We must remember that it is referred to the position of exousia, NOT the person/leader of exousia. While God ordained the system of governance, the leaders were not always chosen by Him. Do not be confused between the two, or it becomes an opened door for abuse and manipulation.

Similarly, God has ordained the position of a husband as the head of the wife. There is something very powerful as the head of the household. It is a privilege to be the head as a husband.

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. - Eph 5:23

A husband is the priest, the prophet and the pastor in his own family. When a husband refuses to step up his role as the head of the household, that is when the whole family unit turns upside down.

This is why I believe strongly that the man must be spiritually and practically leading the household. If the wife is stronger in the beginning, that's fine, but the man must grow faster in order to lead. Otherwise, there is a good chance for chaos, resentment and strife.

I don't have it perfect. I am still growing. But I have come to realise that every word and action that I say & do has an impact on my wife and son. It happens much more in the sub-conscious realm, instead of the conscious realm.

For example, my wife might initially disagree with my way of fathering and other stuff, etc. We might have disagreements because of these. Yet eventually, she would subconsciously pick up and follow suit, as long as I remain consistent without wavering and without compromising.

I realise more and more in recent years, because our time as a family (due to homeschooling and SAH wife) is probably much more than average families. This is when it dawns on me that my role as the head of the household is of significant importance.

If we husbands are not continually growing and leading, we would still be making an impact on the whole family ----- in a negative way. On the other hand, if we want to make a positive impact, we have to watch our words and our actions. We have to frame our thoughts and be intentional, exercising our privilege as the priest, prophet and pastor of our home.

Working hard and earning alot of money to provide for the family is a twisted earthly perspective and a wrong excuse, if every other area is neglected. It is not the heart of the heavenly Father. It happened in our father's generation. It is happening now in our generation. It is likely to continue in the next generation. This is a refusal to take up the role of God-ordained leadership at home.

And it's time to be awakened.

Seeking His Kingdom

Seeking His Kingdom

Last evening, my wife shared that she read the news about a guy who gifted a GCB to his wife at close to $200 million dollars for her birthday. She said that's crazy. Immediately, I joked with my wife, saying, "Can I go to China and work? So that I can become millionaire before I come back."

My wife replied, "You know you must be joking. That's absolutely impossible because it's not in your heart. Besides, God does not want you to focus on money. Because that's not God."

I affirmed what she said and replied, "Do not store up treasures on earth, but in heaven."

I'm so thankful to have such a wife of wisdom and grace. I cannot imagine if I have a wife who seeks money and riches. I cannot imagine if I have a wife who only wants comfort in this world. I cannot imagine if I have a wife who is materialistic and keeps desiring more and more of what the world can provide.

Recently, a friend and I spoke about Christian's pursuit of wealth. He asked, "Is it wrong to have more money so that we can bless more people?"

I answered, "It's a very thin line to go there. Many people started with good motive of wanting to have more money in order to bless others. But in the midst of pursuing that, they lose themselves. Because money is a powerful force. Jesus said, 'You cannot serve both God and mammon.'

Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." The equation starts with seeking His Kingdom, not seeking money first. 

When we get the equation upside down thinking that we can use money for the Kingdom, we WILL lose ourselves and move away from the Kingdom unknowingly. And I have seen a big handful of believers like this. Their lips do not match their actions.

The priority must remain the priority. Otherwise, no matter how good your intention is, it remains an intention without a life lived.