The Law Of First Mention

The Law Of First Mention

The Law of First Mention is not only a powerful principle in Bible interpretation, it is also a powerful principle for parenting.

Yesterday, my wife was talking to J about reckless cars on the road, and her concern for him.

He replied something that shocked me, "Mummy, I have not finished God's assignment on earth. God will only let me go after I have completed His assignment. So I won't die."

This is something that I shared with him long time ago ----- ONCE. He actually remembered it.

It reminded me that the Law of First Mention plays a vital part in the life of a child. If his teacher (apart from Mummy as the main homeschooling teacher) were to be the first to give him a piece of incorrect information, we have a challenging time to help him unlearn it. Even as his own parents.

This places a HUGE responsibility on us as parents. But God sees us "UP AND ON" (though I wasn't a St. Andrew's boy) to entrust us with such responsibility.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. - Prov 22:6

The phrase "the way" in Hebrew refers to "the journey or manner". It doesn't mean that we instruct a child what to do for his life. It has to do more with discipline ("train up") than instructing.

It points to the Way of Righteousness, and since Jesus is the Way (John 14:6) and we are to seek His Righteousness (Matt 6:33), to train up a child in the way he should go is to 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐬, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝.

The Law of First Mention has everything to do with knowing Jesus. Each time we release a piece of information on who Jesus is to our child, I believe that the Holy Spirit empowers our child to remember, so that he/she can apply when the situation arises.

It is only through this, that when a child grows old (even if the child goes astray at some point in life), he/she will NOT depart from Christ.

Keeping My Way Pure

Living in this world opens your eyes to the power of Mammon. All of life on earth is designed to distract us, because the prince of the power of the air is still at work.

Within a split second, thoughts can come into our mind and build envy if we do not seize them and take them captive.

"Why is it so easy for others to earn money nowadays?"

"What's the point of living in integrity when easy money comes if we just lie a little?"

"Wouldn't it be nice to earn more money so that my family and extended families can enjoy better as I provide more for them?"

"Why do we have to be prudent with finances here and there when others are spending as and when they like?"

As a real estate agent for coming to 10 years, I am surrounded by people with money and riches. This is the real estate culture. Everybody is pursuing wealth. Every seminar talks about wealth. Every testimony is about how top producers generate tons of commission.

As years go by, I find myself withdrawn more and more from attending all these talks, seminars and events.

Faith comes from hearing and hearing. Our hearing is thus, very important. It is so easy to succumb and fall into the same culture that you are constantly immersing yourself in.

In these 10 years, such thoughts (mentioned above) did try to enter into my mind once in a blue moon, especially in Singapore where the cost of living is high and the future remains unknown. 

This is why I cannot afford to have a day going without the Word of God.

How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. - Ps 119:9 NKJV

While the world tries to contaminate us, only the Word cleanses us.

I find more joy in following what You tell me to do than in chasing after all the wealth of the world. - Ps 119:14 TPT

Whenever I choose to do the Word, I experience the joy of salvation. Why do I do lifestyle evangelism and yet still set aside specific time to do outreaches? Because the joy that I walk in crushes every thought that comes from the pit of hell whispering about wealth.

I have seen so many succumbed to it. It doesn't matter whether you go to church service regularly or not. It doesn't matter whether you serve in church ministry regularly or not. What matters is that we continually pursue to have the Word of God hidden in our heart and growing in obedience in living it out.

Apart from that, there is no way to remain pure in this world.

When The Father Says "No"

If J asked me to get a certain toy for him and I replied, "No", he would approach the other Father for it.

Apparently, he knew that this Father is greater than his father. By track records, He answered every toy prayer ----- the desires of J's heart.

Either this Father spoke to J's father (he had to say "Yes" to this Father) to buy that specific toy, or this Father moved in the hearts of others to buy that toy for J.

J knows that God the Father always answers his prayer. And I'm pretty sure he's using this against his earthly father's "No".

Don't Let Puberty Define Your Child

My son came back with my lunch - Mc Spicy meal. He insisted to pay with his own money, despite that wifey was with him.

He said to his mum, "Papa always buys Mc Chicken meal for himself even though he likes Mc Spicy, because he finds Mc Spicy expensive. But he always gets better meal for me. So I want to buy him what he likes to eat."

It was the best Mc Spicy meal that I have eaten.

My son is going through puberty. Who says that every child must behave the same in their puberty years? Who says that Inside Out 2 should define our child?

I say that Christ defines our child. We are in the world, but not of the world. If we behave as the world, we have rendered Christ of no effect in us.

Puberty does not define our child. But if we think that it's normal, we are the ones who have defined our child. The way we see our child will become the definition of his behaviours.

May we see our child as Christ sees.

Invitation To Church Christmas Service

So my son's homeschooling friend invited him for youth Christmas service at HOGC on my birthday, when we were supposed to have a family lunch. He probably thinks that J has backslided like me 😜😆 and wanna get him to slide back on Christmas.

J immediately replied him, "I can't. It's my dad's birthday on that day." And he told me about it.

I responded, "No. It's okay. I want you to go and experience it. And when the team leader and the people ask you, 'Which church are you from?' You tell them, 'I am the church.'"

My wifey overheard the conversation and interrupted, "You don't teach him to scare people off leh. They will think your son is weird."

Joke aside, I was personally blessed by Ps How when he took time to meet me and my wifey personally (over a period of time) at the early stage of my full-time church ministry work more than a decade ago. I wasn't from his sheep pen, but he had kingdom mentality to empower young ministers regardless of which church they are from.

He gave me the opportunity to sit in his staff meeting, looked at his staff office and learnt from his administration.

When I left full-time church ministry, he sent his pioneer leader to meet with me and find out how I was doing.

While theology might differ, love wins. His humility and genuine empowerment reveal his heart for the younger and the young generation.

So while I'm not into a church institution, I'm for my son to experience what is in an institution so that he can understand the differences when it comes to the Kingdom of God.

Parenting Without Separation Anxiety

Parenting Without Separation Anxiety

When J was born, we didn't allow the parenting school of "separation anxiety" to teach us how to parent a child. In my personal opinion, the heavenly Father does not do that to us, therefore, we decided to steer clear of some good parenting advice.

Many believe in letting the little one cry by leaving him alone, until he learns to be independent and sleeps on his own. But we beg to differ because we must align the physical with the spiritual.

The Father doesn't leave a newborn Christian to cry on his own so that he can be independent. So what makes us think that we should do it on the earthly realm?

J slept with us in the same room and on the same bed since he was born. We wanted him to feel fully secure by our presence.

J was also breastfed until 5 years old. Kudos to my wifey! People are usually concerned that it's harder to wean off at an older age and the withdrawal symptoms would be significant.

Few months before he reached 5, we began to consistently and regularly prepare him by our words. We kept saying, "J, when you reach 5, you will stop breastfeeding."

On his 5th birthday, we stopped on the dot. That night, he cried for a short while, before going to bed. The next day, he was completely normal in his usual self. It didn't take effort for him to be weaned.

When he first went to the childcare and the toddler's service in church, we didn't just 'throw' him into it and left him to cry. We went with him and stayed with him for a few times, ensuring that he could always see us, because we never leave him nor forsake him.

He was eased into the new environments naturally and smoothly without feeling any separation anxiety. This has been the rule of our household: Presence supersedes presents.

Few months before he moved to the new house, at the age of 11, we began to consistently and regularly prepare him by our words. We kept saying, "J, when we move to the new house, you will sleep in your own room and bed."

On the night when we moved in, he gave us a night hug, and went to his own room and bed to sleep. There was no struggle. He successfully did it again.

He's reaching 12 and going through puberty. He still holds my hand in the public. We still hug and kiss, undefiled by the culture of this Asian world between a father and a son.

The Father in heaven never leaves us nor forsakes us. He is Jehovah Shammah. Separation anxiety is not in God's dictionary. The only time it happened was on the Cross when the Son cried out "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

He cried that, so that today, you and I can rejoice, "My Father, My Father, You NEVER leave me NOR forsake me."

And we can do the same to our little ones as we parent them, not conforming to the pattern of this world, but with a renewed mind according to the pattern of heaven.