Long suffering

Last few days, Jeshua has been throwing tantrum. When he was told not to do certain things, he threw tantrum and started throwing stuff on the floor. As a result, he was disciplined by me a few times.

I'm always pleased with him, no matter what he does. But I'm not always pleased with his behaviour. The former has to do with his identity as my son while the latter, behaviour. These two are separated.

For one or two times, his tantrum got me a little frustrated. That's when I knew that I did not discipline him with 100% pure motive from my heart. The major part was to train him in the ways of the Lord, but there was a minor part which was caused by frustration.

I realise how long suffering God the Father is. A lot of times, we throw tantrum before Him. But He's always patient with us. Never once did He show His frustration. He is always GOOD in training us.

Help me, Lord, to be patient like You in training Jeshua.

Innocent

I was drinking my cup of coffee today as I sat with my son on the sofa.

After a while, he suddenly came close to me, trying to hug me (which is his usual style of wanting me to carry him to another place). As I was unable to respond so quickly, the hot coffee was spilled over my body, sofa and floor. Out of frustration, I raised my voice a little, "Jeshua. You see what has happened?!"

Immediately, he broke down in tears. I calmed him down. Then I put my cup on the dinner table, changed my Tshirt, wiped the sofa and the floor before going to him and apologised.

"I'm sorry, Jeshua. Papa shouldn't be so quick to express my frustration. I love you. I'm sorry."

My son was innocent. He didn't know that he would cause such inconvenience to me. He simply wanted to hug me (and ask me to bring him to another place) and play with me, but I reacted negatively instead of responding with love.

When we 'accidentally' mess up, I doubt God the Father would react with frustration and impatience. He is love and He always responds with love. He sees us as who we are in Christ, instead of looking at our messy behaviours and goes, "That's frustrating."

It's important for me to show Jeshua that things are worth much lesser than him, who is priceless and precious in my eyes. When hot coffee is spilled on my body, Tshirt, sofa and floor, they can all be cleaned up. But a broken heart takes time to heal.

I rather have a broken cup than his broken heart. I rather take time to clear the mess than to make him feel that his identity is defined by his mess.