Allowing Creativity

Today, Jeshua drew on the wall with his colour pencils.

Obviously, this has "destroyed" the white, clean wall and made it rather messy.

However, my wife and I decided to let him draw on the wall in his room. This is important because we want to create a safe environment for him to explore his gifting and abilities. I believe that he is a very creative boy as I have seen him using unconventional ways in approaching his toys and other stuff.

It's easy for us to focus on the mess and miss out the potential in a person. God the Father always sees our potential in the midst of our mess. Jesus saw the ability and boldness in Peter even when Peter was still uneducated and impulsive. Peter turned out to become the apostle who preached boldly and powerfully on the day of Pentecost, with 3000 souls receiving salvation in one sermon. Jesus saw the unrelenting spirit in Paul when he was still ignorant and killing Christians. Paul turned out to be the apostle who had planted more churches than anyone in this world.

I want to be a father who focuses on the potential of Jeshua. I want to call out his identity and destiny. I want him to know that material things don't matter to us (parents) as much as he does. I want to create a safe environment for him to take steps of faith in exploring who he is and what God has gifted him with. More Lord!

Presence - Dependence On Me

Was at the youth camp in Sembawang Camp Challenge when I received a call from my wife that Jeshua has injured his toe as the door closed on him. She has brought him to the family doctor but he advised that we should bring him to KK hospital for X-ray as it looked serious.

As I was taking a cab there, I was thinking about what different Christian ministers have shared concerning family emergency. A good handful of them believe that they should not stop ministering even if the family is going through emergency. The reasons they gave are as follow:

1) I have to trust God to take care of my family.
2) I want my family to trust God and depend on Him so that they know how to fight when attacks come.
3) I don't want the devil to use this over and over again as his platform to stop me from ministering to many other lives. If he knows that a family emergency can stop me, he will keep attacking.

Yet as I was pondering over it, I felt God speaking to me.

The Father's presence is the most important thing to me. It gives me comfort, confidence and assurance. If God the Father's presence is vital to me, my presence is vital to Jeshua. However, I can't be with him forever. It will come a point when God the Father has to be Jeshua's Father.

What do I mean by that?

Jeshua has to learn to depend on God the Father when he grows up. Even if an emergency happens, he has to learn to trust God himself. God is the One who can provide for all he needs. God is the One who is his ever-present help.

But before that happens, I represent God the Father to him, because he is still too young to understand the need to depend on God. Now he has to depend on me as the father. In other words, if emergency happens, I have to be present with him. My presence is important... at least until he learns how to be dependent on God.

When he comes into a relationship with God the Father, when he learns to be dependent on Him, it will be the time when I can be absent (if I'm ministering to other lives).

Thank You Jesus for this revelation.

Polliwogs Playground

Jeshua was playing at the bouncing castle. Suddenly, there were many other older kids who came up to play. They were jumping violently.

My heart was beating faster as I was concerned that they might accidentally land on him, who seemed to be the youngest there.

This was the only play station that I didn't get involved with him because I was afraid that the castle would burst if an adult goes up. There seemed to be an unspoken rule - no adult for this station.

As I watched over him, my heart was praying for his safety.

I am reminded that God the Father is especially concerned when we tread on dangerous grounds. He would be watching over our every single move to see if we are safe.

However, there is a rule that He set - He wouldn't interfere with our choices. If we choose to tread on dangerous grounds, we have to answer the consequence. Jeshua was treading on dangerous ground while I was constantly keeping my eyes on him.

The important thing is this... we have to watch out for the voice of God in the midst of danger in order to be kept safe. As I saw more and more kids coming up, I called out to Jeshua and he came towards me. It was then that I could bring him out of the bouncing castle.

Whose Will?

Son cried for 30 min today simply because he wanted to latch on wifey. It wasn't because he needed it (he wasn't hungry or sleepy). He wanted it out of habit.

As such, he threw tantrum when he couldn't get what he wanted. He's such a persistent boy. Man, he's going to be such an overcomer in life on earth. I believe he's gonna be a great and powerful communicator too.

Despite his loud and desperate cry (it was really bad!), we refused to give in. We were teaching him that if it's not our will (right and good one), he won't get it no matter how hard he tries or cries.

Similarly, if it's not God's will, no matter how much we try, God won't answer. We can pray long hours; fast for many days; cry desperately for God to do our will and He will still not give in, because He desires to give us what is best and according to His will.

There is no way we can bend God's hand to do our will.

On the other hand, if it's God's will, then we need not cry for it. It's not based on our efforts and works. If it's His will, a simple trust will bring down His will from heaven to earth. That's why we don't need to cry desperately for healing to take place. It's His will. We simply believe it.

Angry?

Yesterday, Jeshua was throwing tantrum again. It was bad. He didn't want to bath.

I tried to bath him though. When he came out of the shower room, he expressed his unhappiness with me. He was angry. I mean... he's just 23 months toddler!

Deep in my heart, I was sad. I realised how much more God the Father feels when His children are angry or upset with Him. They have misinterpreted His heart of love.

God the Father is not mad at us. He is mad about us.

How Fast/Far?

Today, we brought Jeshua out to buy dinner nearby. Wifey held his left hand while I held his right. Instead of walking forward consistently, my little boy walked a few steps, stopped and looked at the ground cheekily. These happened a couple of times. As such, I couldn't walk at the speed that I would like him to walk. I, too, couldn't move forward as I had to slow down to match his pace (or pauses).

I realised at that moment that God the Father would have desired that we move together with Him at the pace which His kingdom would keep advancing AND that we would reach our destiny according to His plan. He couldn't take us as fast/far as He would like to if we keep pausing to do what we want. He would match our pace, yet hoping that we would move with His.

How fast/far we want to move in the kingdom and into our destiny depends on our willingness to move in step with Him and not allow ourselves to be distracted.

Tantrum & Tantrum

Jeshua's personality is different from an average toddler's personality. He has shown himself to be very shrewd, at the same time, strong-headed. It is interesting that God gives us a child with unique personality so that we cannot copy parenting skills from others. Neither can we simply follow a parenting book or parenting tips.

I believe that God gives everyone a unique child so that we have to depend on Him and grow in intimacy out of the time of seeking Him for parenting our own child.

Jeshua has been throwing a lot of tantrums in these few days. Last night, he refused to sleep and kept crying loudly to demand that we bring him out into the living room to play. I went out to take the disciplining rod and told him, "It's time to sleep or you will get disciplined." In fact, I raised my voice at him. Yes, he obeyed and went to sleep.

Nevertheless, I felt in my spirit that this isn't the right approach to father him. If I had to raise my voice at him so that he would obey, if I had to use the rod so that he would obey, then he is not obeying because he trusts me, he is obeying out of fear --- fear of punishment.

This morning, I was sitting in my study room spending time with God and reflecting about it. God the Father won't raise His voice or punish us (create fear) when we are throwing tantrum. He simply allows us to throw tantrum.

I asked Him how we should then parent Jeshua and I heard Him say the following:

"Jeshua is frustrated and throwing tantrum because he is not getting what he wants. It is a growth process where he is learning to find his identity. You can do these:

1) Call out his identity instead of focusing on his bad behaviour

2) Don't create the fear of punishment

3) The disciplining rod is used for correction - to correct him from what is wrong so that he will do what is right. It is not to be used for his tantrum

4) Use the rod when he is in danger

- such as playing with the pocket socket, wanting to cross the road by himself without any assistance, etc.

5) When he throws tantrum, don't react to it. Let him throw his tantrum until he cools down. When he has cooled down, talk to him (reasons) and hug him to show that you still love him.

Teach me, O Lord, that I may know how to train him in righteousness.

What's Important

We went to Ningxia night market after staying almost the whole day in hotel. Decided to take a cab there as it is near our hotel but it's not as convenient if we were to go by train. 

Guess which cab driver I ended up with? Yes. The one whom I prayed for this afternoon! I didn't recognise him but he remembered that I prayed for his neck. He was very helpful throughout the way.

Within an hour or so, we were on our way back to hotel. Why? Jeshua was throwing tantrum when he couldn't get what he wanted.

I was thinking that if we were to discipline him in public just because we wanted to try out different snacks at the night market, it wouldn't be right. That would be discipling him for his good, but also because of our own convenience.

We packed a few snacks and headed back, before I disciplined him in the hotel room.

I am reminded that God the Father doesn't discipline us for His own convenience. He always disciplines us for our good.

Well-Being, Not Well-Doing

Jeshua had diarrhoea for the first two days of our trip to Taipei. On the third day, he was down with bad hives all over his face, arms, legs and body. It was likely a food allergy.

We had to cancel our itinerary plans for four days (out of seven days) as he was unwell.

I realised that I had to lay down whatever desires I had pertaining to this Taipei trip for him. I also couldn't bring him to various places that I would like him to go. All for his well-being. It dawned on me that he is the only precious son I have and he deserves to be placed as priority over the trip.

Though God the Father would like us to 'go with Him' (partner with Him) to release His kingdom and do His works, He is more concerned over our well-being than what He wants us to do.

God's heart is always FOR us.

Consciousness Of Righteousness

Romans 7:5 (AMP) - When we were living in the flesh (mere physical lives), the sinful passions that were awakened and aroused up by [what] the Law [makes sin] were constantly operating in our natural powers (in our bodily organs, in the sensitive appetites and wills of the flesh), so that we bore fruit for death.

Was reading Romans 7 this morning and it dawned on me that I should father Jeshua according to this: what would lead him to be conscious of righteousness.

Sin's power is aroused by "what the Law makes sin." In other words, it is empowered by knowing what is wrong. The more I tell Jeshua, "Do not do this... Do not do that...", the more he will be inclined to do so. It is not going to train him in righteousness in the long haul. He would not be empowered to do what is right.

What we are conscious of, we do. If we are conscious of what is wrong, we will do what is wrong.

If I train Jeshua to be conscious of what is right, he will be empowered to do so as he sets his focus on what is right.

This means that if he is going to touch the power socket, instead of saying "Jeshua, don't touch or you will be hurt" (it will cause him to be even more curious about power socket), I'll say, "Jeshua, touch this stuff (direct him to another item), enjoy it as it is safe."

Instead of saying, "Jeshua, don't play with your food", I'll say, "Jeshua, the food is meant for you to eat."

Interesting how we deviate from the Scriptures so much because we based our parenting skills from our own experiences - how our parents parented us.

Whose Strength

Just a few weeks ago, we went to Plaza Singapura to buy a family luggage as we didn't have a proper one. Since there was a promotion, we reckoned that it would be wise to get one as we would be going for a vacation.

When you buy something new, you would want to check the condition of the item to see if there's anything faulty.

The salesman showed us how to check a new luggage in the fastest way. First, he spun the luggage to check the four mini-wheels under the luggage. Then, he pulled up the handle before doing various other checks.

Throughout the demonstration, Jeshua was paying full attention, observing what the salesman was doing. After we made the purchase and was heading home, he wanted to get his hands on the new luggage. Guess what? He wanted to spin the luggage like what the salesman did.

However, as he was only 21 months old, he didn't have enough strength to make it spin properly. As his Papa, I wanted to help him. I knew that he wouldn't be able to do it by his own strength. So as he pushed the bottom part of the luggage with both his hands, I pushed from the top. As a result, the luggage spun beautifully. He must have thought that he was the one doing it. The truth is, I was the one supplying the strength.

I am reminded that God the Father always supplies strength when we don't have the strength. Sometimes, like my son Jeshua, we don't even recognise that He's the One supplying us with the strength, especially when it seems that we are able to cope with various situations and handle different tasks and circumstances on hand.

Father, help me to have an attitude of thanksgiving when everything seems to be going well. I know that You are the One supplying me with the strength. I want to recognise it. And when I don't have the strength, I know that I can draw from Your divine strength. Amen.

God Sees

Recently, whenever I asked Jeshua to drink water (he doesn't like), he would act as though he's drinking, but I could see that he was not sipping from his water bottle at all!

I told him, "Papa can see. You are not drinking." And he would take a few sips. I wanted him to drink so that he stays healthy.

He's only 22 months old and he already knows how to act. I don't know if I should laugh or faint. But it reminds me that God the Father can see everything that we do and say. We don't need to try to hide things from Him. Neither can we think that He doesn't know. He knows all things.

Yet He is not trying to find fault with us. He wants to show us what is right and for our good.

The Cross is not the revelation of our sin. It is the revelation of our identity and righteousness.

Long suffering

Last few days, Jeshua has been throwing tantrum. When he was told not to do certain things, he threw tantrum and started throwing stuff on the floor. As a result, he was disciplined by me a few times.

I'm always pleased with him, no matter what he does. But I'm not always pleased with his behaviour. The former has to do with his identity as my son while the latter, behaviour. These two are separated.

For one or two times, his tantrum got me a little frustrated. That's when I knew that I did not discipline him with 100% pure motive from my heart. The major part was to train him in the ways of the Lord, but there was a minor part which was caused by frustration.

I realise how long suffering God the Father is. A lot of times, we throw tantrum before Him. But He's always patient with us. Never once did He show His frustration. He is always GOOD in training us.

Help me, Lord, to be patient like You in training Jeshua.

Being Close To Jeshua When He Is Sick

Jeshua is still down with a fever.

I realise that each time when he is sick, Carol and I will give in to him easily for what he wants, except for things that will harm him.

These two days, he wanted to watch his educational programme on the TV. We struggled to let him watch because it's not healthy for him to watch too much. Nevertheless, we gave in because of his fever and continual crying. Otherwise, I would have stood firm in my decision not to let him watch.

I wonder what God the Father would do. I believe that He will not give in to us (even when we are sick) if it will cause us harm. However, He does give strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. (Isaiah 40:29)

If the educational programme gives him "strength" while he is sick, it may not be a bad thing. Holy Spirit, please teach me more.

One thing I know is this... I feel drawn to Jeshua more when he is sick. This tells me that God the Father desires to draw even closer to us when we are weak or broken. When we are weak or broken, we can be assured that He is near.

Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is near to the broken-hearted.

Choices

Recently, Jeshua refused to sit on his stroller. He kept wanting to be carried. I feel that this is not helpful for him in the long run. He's not a baby anymore. He can walk.

Today, my wife and I gave him two options: he can choose either to walk or to sit on his stroller.

It is important for us to give a child choices as he grows older. In this manner, we can set a healthy boundary instead of saying "No" all the time. In addition, we are teaching him to make his own decision in life, while guiding him indirectly.

Jeshua was very persistent today. After walking for a distance, he would want Carol to carry. I told him, "Sit on the pram if you don't want to walk. You can choose either one." He continued to walk. This happened for many times. But he chose to walk instead. As a result, he was perspiring all over; he was also tired.

Of course, the choice of sitting on the pram will be perfect for him. He will be able to rest comfortably. Yet he chose an option which made it difficult for himself.

I was waiting for him to choose the better option, but he didn't.

I am reminded of God the Father. He has the best plan in store for us. Yet He gives us many choices in life, because He doesn't force. However, more often than not, we choose our own options rather than His. He is waiting patiently for us to choose His. If we don't, we choose problems for ourselves. He is not the cause. We are.