Last night, I did not respond patiently towards J during dinner. I kind of had an expectation on his eating habit. This is something that I have subconsciously acted according to my upbringing. My dad used to be very strict with me when it comes to eating habit and table manners. Having said that, he is a loving dad, though he doesn't know how to express it.
If we are not conscious, we will naturally father according to how we are being fathered. Yet our fathering model should always come from our Perfect Father.
Because of my response towards J last night, he was upset. Before he slept, he told Mama, "I am angry with Papa."
This morning, as I was spending time with my Perfect Papa in heaven, He spoke to me clearly - "When J was younger, you loved on him without any expectation. Now that he is older, you have begun to set an expectation on how he should be like, especially during meal times. Yes, you can talk with him about it. But you do not place an expectation on him. Your role is to simply love without expectation."
It is ironic that we always love our child without expectation when he is a baby. But we begin to have expectations (subconsciously) when he grows up. True love should expect nothing. Yet true love will eventually produce the very thing we hope to see.
Much to learn and much to grow to be like the Perfect Papa so that I can represent Him accurately to my son.
P.S: Today is Father and Son's Day. We shall go out and love on each other!
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