Hearing God's Voice Starts Early Part 3

We were at bus interchange when we asked J, "Which bus will come first?"

Wifey: J, you pray and ask Jesus.

J closed his eyes. Wifey told me not to say first. I had a vague impression of bus 85 but I kept quiet.

J opened his eyes and said, "Bus 85!"

Wifey asked me, "Did you also get 85?" I said "Yes, a vague impression."

It's a confirmation.

So we waited and bus 85 arrived first. Jesus! #hearinggod #fathering101 3

We were at bus interchange when we asked J, "Which bus will come first?"

Wifey: J, you pray and ask Jesus.

J closed his eyes. Wifey told me not to say first. I had a vague impression of bus 85 but I kept quiet.

J opened his eyes and said, "Bus 85!"

Wifey asked me, "Did you also get 85?" I said "Yes, a vague impression."

It's a confirmation.

So we waited and bus 85 arrived first. Jesus! #hearinggod #fathering101

My son loves me

Lately, my son has been saying spontaneously, "Papa, I love you so much." When I return home, he would excitedly welcome me like a dog does to it's owner. He's not a dog, of course.

My wife said, "I think you are winning him over and I'm losing."

I said, "There is no competition yah."

She replied, "Yes. I'm secured and I'm happy for that."

This is the best decision I have made to leave full-time church ministry after God spoke, "Fathering is your highest call." #fathering101

He is my precious.

Dreams

Yesterday, I asked J if he had a dream on the previous night. He said, "Yes." I asked him what the dream was. He said, "I saw Jesus." I asked, "What did Jesus say?" J replied, "I love you."

This morning, I asked the same thing again. He replied, "I saw Jesus again." I wondered what Jesus said to him. He added, "Jesus said He will buy me a toy. And He said that I swim very well."

Looks like Jesus is pouring out His affirmation towards him.

And true enough, I just confirmed the closing of a deal. So I shall get him a toy. Jesus! #fathering101

Grace Is Surprised Attack

This morning, I had a challenging time with J.

Parenting is probably the toughest job on earth. It requires modeling, not simply educating.

As it was raining cats and dogs, J requested for his little Thomas umbrella. Granted... but we forgot to bring along his Paw Patrol water bottle. Usually, we'll prepare his bottle the night before and insert it at the side pocket of his bag. However, as he had recently requested his Mama to buy the big Paw Patrol bottle, we had to put it on the table each time after we have prepared.

J was exhilarated that he would bring the Thomas umbrella that he forgot about his bottle.

Cut the long story short... We arrived at his nursery. As his sandals were wet from the rain, I requested him to leave them outside the shoe cabinet. He insisted not. Despite much explanations, he preferred to put them in the shoe cabinet. Well, his teacher was waiting for him to do the routine checks and registration. After much reasoning, he finally relented and allowed me to leave the shoes outside.

As his teacher was doing the routine checks, he suddenly realised that the Paw Patrol bottle wasn't in his bag. Man... he was pretty disappointed and upset. He didn't want to go in to his class. He insisted on going home to take. I had to ask the teacher to go in for her class, while I took time to talk to him.

Tried different ways of communicating but to no avail. He wanted his bottle. He asked if I could go home and bring back for him. I said, "No." I wanted him to learn how to let go when things don't turn out the way he expected. I wanted him to learn about taking responsibility for his own thing. I wanted him to know that he can't expect people to bring him what he has forgotten to bring. That would lead to complacency and taking others for granted.

His teacher came out thrice to see if he was ready. She tried encouraging him to go in but failed. So I politely requested to have more time with him to talk through.

Then a thought came into my mind. So I asked, "J, did you do your laundry last evening when you reached home?"

(We taught him to take out his used towel, blanket and school uniform from the school bag and place them into the laundry bag.)

J: No.

Me: Are you supposed to do your laundry each time when you reach home?

J: Yes.

Me: So did you forget to do it yesterday?

J: Yes.

Me: Did Papa get upset and insist that you do it?

J: No.

Me: So now that we have forgotten to bring the bottle... are you going to insist that Papa goes back and brings it to you?

J: No.

That settled it.

This is parenting by reminding him of grace.

Freely we have received God's grace, freely we will release grace to others. Each time when we are reminded of how gracious and merciful God is, we will be gracious and merciful towards others.

He had received grace regarding the laundry. By reminding him of what he had received, it became easy for him to overlook the bottle thingy. Jesus!

And now... I'm getting ready to bring him the Paw Patrol bottle. It will be a surprise for him, because he would not have expected me to bring, when I already said "No".

Now that he has learnt the proper value through the teaching moment, I am ready to give him a surprise attack.

Because Grace is a surprised attack.

Moments Like This

In the middle of his sleep, my son woke up, caressed my head and said, "I like Papa, you know?"

You are a father for moments like this...

Hearing God's Voice Starts Early Part 2

Bus interchange part 2

While walking towards bus interchange, J said, "Mama, we need to check the screen."

I responded, "J, remember? Just ask Jesus."

He closed his eyes and said, "Jesus, what number would come first?"

I said, "I have gotten bus 136. What about you?"

He said, "I also have 136."

By faith, we walked towards bus 136 arrival point. And it indeed came first. Jesus!

Freely Received, Freely Give

Today, my wife bought J a sling pouch. It's for him to keep his ez-link card, as well as some coins and notes.

We gave him some money so that we can teach him how to steward money. At the same time, he will pick up calculation and learn to be wise in his spending.

He was overjoyed and exhilarated with his pouch. From afternoon to evening, he kept telling us, "Mama, Papa, I want to pay for you. Later you buy things and I will pay."

My wife replied, "You are so eager to pay. Do you have a lot of money?"

It suddenly dawned on me that it is effortless and natural to give away what you have freely received. Freely you have received, freely you will give.

J couldn't wait to give because he had received money freely from both of us.

Often, we find it hard to give away what we have because of wrong perspective. We deem that we are the ones who work hard for the money. If we spend much time, energy and effort to work for it, we will naturally be reluctant to give generously.

But if we can recognise that it is our Father in heaven who gave us the power and ability to work and get money, if we can recognise Him as the Source of money, it will be much easier for us to give away.

How generous we are depends on how we perceive what we have received from Him.

 

Hearing God's Voice Starts Early

At Punggol bus interchange...

J: Papa, can you look at the timings on the screen? See which bus comes first.

Papa: There's no need to check. We can just ask Jesus. Bus 85 is coming first.

J: No. Papa, you need to look at the screen.

Papa: It's okay. Jesus knows all things. He knows which bus will come first. He just told me bus 85 will come first.

Bus 85 indeed came first.

J: Papa, 85 comes first!

Papa: See... Jesus knows which bus would come first. How did Papa know?

J: Because Jesus told you.

Papa: Yes. So next time you can just ask Jesus, okay?

J: Yes.

Hearing God's voice has to start early. #fathering101

Expectations?

I couldn't hit the sack early last night...

I was reflecting on how I fathered Jeshua recently, especially the past few days. I realised that the older he gets, the more I have expectations on him. I realised that if I don't intentionally stay conscious of how the Father in heaven fathers me, I would father my son according to how my earthly father fathered me.

When Jeshua was younger, I was intentional in showing love before any correction, even if it was a consequence of his own choice and disobedience. The focus is his identity as my beloved son, instead of his behaviours.

Lately, I observed a reverse. I was quick to correct him before I showed love. Man... this is no good. I had subconsciously switched to focus on his behaviours. Because I had placed an expectation on a 4-year old, when I did not place such expectation on him when he was a 2-year old.

There is nothing wrong with having expectations. God the Father loves us, but He does have expectations as we grow in Him. He communicates His expectations to us in His Word. Yet His expectations towards us do not affect the way He reveals His love. Neither does it change the sequence and approach of His love. Because He changes not. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

I am called to represent the Father to my son. Therefore, I have to stay the same yesterday, today and forever.

Last few days, I had begun to treat him according to his behaviours, instead of treating him according to my love for him. Deep in my heart, I love him as my beloved son. But as the focus switched a little, my approach also switched. If I continue to do that, he would feel the change, though my love for him remains the same.

I looked at him as he was sound asleep last night. What a precious son he is. My heart broke. I love him. How could I react to his behaviours instead of responding with love? It was inconsistent with what I really felt in my heart.

I had written in one of my entries in this blog that we are to love based on who we are, instead of loving based on who people are. God is love and He loves us because of who He is, not because of who we are and our responses. He can't stop loving because Love IS Him.

There is a better way to communicate my love for my son by showing love first, before correction.

I disciplined him three times yesterday. Twice in the public toilets and once at the dining table at home. By disciplining, I do not refer to physical punishment like caning or hitting. I don't believe in inflicting physical pain to discipline a person, because God the Father does not do that.

I corrected him with my words. The tone was harsh at certain points. I don't think our Father in heaven would correct in that approach. And yes, he burst into tears. This is not building his identity.

I reflected on my past entries when he was younger. I knew what went wrong. It's a great reminder to switch back and focus on his identity.

Love first. Expectations second. 

It is really not that difficult.