In the Old Covenant, the people experienced carrot-and-stick treatment because they were under the Law. They were both rewarded and punished for their behaviors and actions. "If you obey, you get rewarded. If you don't, your privilege will be removed and you will be punished." As a result, they did not know the heart of the Father. Their hearts were not changed. Today, many parenting methods follow the Old Covenant. "If you finish your food, I will bring you to the playground. If you don't, you don't go."
In the New Covenant where we live in, Jesus doesn't use carrot-and-stick treatment because we are under Grace. We are not rewarded and punished for our behaviors and actions, though of course, there are still self-inflicted consequences. The full reward and the full punishment already happened on the Cross. This revelation of grace and truth allows us to know the heart of the Father. As a result, we are changed by His love. The difference now in parenting becomes, "Finish your food, BECAUSE I am going to bring you to the playground." This is based on my promise and grace.
This is a tough parenting method that I'm still learning and growing. To me, it's Parenting by Grace. Grace-based parenting doesn't have any fixed method. It requires us to draw from our personal relationship with the Father because as we see how God fathers us, we will learn to do the same. I am determined to do it differently from how I was brought up and what majority are doing.
Train up a child in THE WAY he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6
Jesus answered, "I am THE WAY..." - John 14:6
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age... - Titus 2:11-12
The way to train our child is to teach him THE WAY - Jesus. It is by grace.
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