Gospel Sharing

While sending J to school, he told me that he has been sharing Jesus with his classmates.

Yesterday, he led one of them to Christ. Come on!

Transformative Fathering Part 4

God has no grandchildren.

Last night, J didn’t respond despite me calling him a number of times. He was doing his own stuff. If he can’t respond to the voice of his father whom he can see, how would he grow to respond to the voice of the Heavenly Father whom he cannot see? This is serious and hence, I had to discipline him.

I asked him to sit at the reflection corner. At first, he was very reluctant. But I stood firm and said, “Stay there and start speaking in tongues to talk to Jesus.” I sat near him as he did it.

Then I said, “What did Jesus tell you?”

He responded, “Jesus said that I need to listen to Papa and respond.”

I said, “That’s correct.”

But I needed him to encounter His Presence instead of giving me a ‘correct answer’. I’m not interested in what is going on in his mind. I need to see what is going on in his heart and let the Father father his heart.

So I took him on a short journey to encounter the Father, for He is able to discipline my son.

Papa: J, close your eyes now.

J closed his eyes.

Papa: Imagine little pony (his present favourite show) is here. It’s white and pink. Can see you the little pony?

J: Yes!

Papa: Now Jesus is standing beside little pony. He’s wearing white. Can you see Him?

J: Yes. And blue eyes.

Papa: Now Jesus is smiling at you and walking towards you with the little pony. He is stretching out His hands to you. What do you see in His hand?

J: I saw a white thingy with pink jelly. It’s a kind of dessert that we ate before. But I don’t like it.

Papa: Now, open your eyes. J, Jesus is telling you something... sometimes, what Papa and Mama say to you may not be what you like, and you may choose to ignore or don’t want to listen, but what you don’t like now is actually good (sweet) for you.... like Jesus giving you dessert but you don’t like that kind at the moment.

J: Nodded his head and said, “It’s good for me.”

This may be unconventional fathering but I believe that the perfect Father longs to father our child more than us. Jesus! #fathering101

Stewarding The Gift of Learning

His regular routine... NLB. Stewarding the gift of learning.

A baby is born with the gift of learning. It is not taught to learn. It is gifted to learn.

We don’t need to teach children to learn. They naturally want to. That’s how God has designed. On the contrary, if a child doesn’t want to learn, it’s because we ‘teach’ and model to him/her NOT to learn. #fathering101

Partnership & Relationship

Partnership & Relationship

It’s time to get him involved in washing and cleaning the external and internal of the family car. Papa has been doing it weekly and monthly respectively. Now he understands the work that is required and takes responsibility and ownership in it. (And hopefully stops dropping all the crumbs and bits & pieces of snacks in the car.) 

With his help, it took MUCH longer to finish the regular job. It would be so much easier for me to do it on my own. But the process is more important than the outcome. This is why discipleship is a process and it takes you out of your comfort zone. It is easy to preach the Gospel and do signs and wonders, but when it comes to discipleship, we usually run away quickly and say, “Oh this is not my thing.” 

The key focus for J’s involvement is on relationship and partnership with his Papa. Isn’t this the same as the Perfect Father in heaven and us? For God to do something, it’s easy, Godspeed and effortless. He doesn’t need us. Yet He chose us as imperfect vessels to do His work, even though the whole process becomes way slower and the outcome may not be perfect. Papa God involves us because He desires partnership and relationship. What a privilege we have!

J was exhilarated. He couldn’t wait to be involved in this. He found it a privilege and joy to do it.

Check out his proud look at the finished product - clean on the inside and shiny on the outside. Yay Jesus! #responsibility #fathering101 #fromboytoman

Transformative Fathering Part 3

It’s another F&S Day. But it’s one that caused me to reflect way deeper.

Close to 4 years ago, I left full-time church ministry when God spoke deeply into my heart, “Your highest call is to be a father.” I never look back since then. Papa God said, “Lay it down and focus on fathering J in his foundation years.” He was 2 years old. Now he just turns 6.

Working with youths & young adults in the past made me realise the importance of fathering. They don’t need your presents. They need your presence. They need to learn intimacy, identity and authority from us so that we can impart the heart of the Father to their hearts.

2019 is an important year where I felt the Lord speaking to me to focus on preparing J for next year where there will be a huge culture shift for him. He will either enter P1 or skip the MOE system altogether. 

I also felt that it is the time for fathers to rise up and take responsibility for their children —- holistically, and that includes education. It’s time to stop leaving education entirely to mothers and think that it should be the role of the mother, when it is also the role of the father.

Prov 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Prov 3:21 - My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion...

These are the words of King Solomon, the wisest king in the Old Covenant. Bear in mind that the one who fathered him was King David. In the Jewish tradition, it was the fathers who were responsible to teach their children. 

In the modern world which we live in, we relegated this to women and focus on our career and external achievements. Achievements will pass away but what is build for eternity will leave a legacy. If we as fathers are heroes to the world but zero to our child, we are STILL a zero. Fathers who pursue achievements and get satisfaction from that usually point to the lack of identity and security in who they are. The Father in heaven has already approved you before you try to prove yourself or get approval from men. Identity comes from knowing that you are a son to begin with. If you don’t know how to rest as a son, you won’t know how to father. Because fathering comes from identity.

Ministry is not just what you do outside. It is also what you do inside —— your own children. In fact, the main criteria for leadership is that your own child honours you.

In the past few years, J had been grounded on identity. He’s now secure in knowing that he is loved. The foundation years seemed to be coming to a close.

This year will encompass a different direction. l’m gonna take him to various adventures, and to see a world that is beyond himself. I have in my mind what to expose him to, because he is ready. He’s not going to be a strawberry generation or a fatherless generation. He’s going to be a bold, courageous and compassionate man as I intentionally prepare him this year to be awakened to the reality of the kingdom.

Fathers, you and I can make a difference. Let’s RISE up and FATHER our children. #fathering101 #transformativefathering

Transformative Fathering Part 2

Transformative Fathering Part 2

The simplicity of fathering is to see a child knowing that he is loved regardless of his performance and behaviour.

Yet in a culture like SG where performance is celebrated and behaviour is tolerated, many parents (including Christian parents) are pressured to pressure their kids - extracurricular (academic) activities begin as young as 1 year old. By the age of 5, the child has probably taken extra (paid) classes for Mandarin, English, Mathematics, and a whole list more, on top of what he’s already learning in Kindergarten.

What kind of values are we building into our child?

The Bible says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world...” This encompasses parenting, which I shared in Part 1.

Many parents rush to be parent-volunteers in good schools when the child is 5 years old, hoping to get a place in the school when the child reaches Primary One. Some others rely on ‘networking relationships’ to get their child into the school that they want.

When J was 5, my wife initially said, “We still have membership with this (so-and-so) church. Shall we ask the pastor to help us write a letter to enrol in this (so-and-so) school?”

I prayed about it and told her, “No. We shouldn’t. Let’s not rely on this kind of thing. Let’s not be another ‘kiasu’ (afraid to lose) Christian parent. We need to trust God for J.” My wife actually agreed. What’s ironic is that she’s actually a MOE teacher who has many years of experience in missions school and she had initially desired to place J in a missions school. Thank God for her submission!

So we missed the parent-volunteer thingy. We gave up abusing, I mean... using the ‘networking’ privilege. 

Neither did we put J in ‘this academic class and that academic class’ on top of his pre-school class. We are probably one of the most chilled parents in SG 🤣

I feel for him when he has homework from his pre-school at the age of 5 and 6. I put myself in his shoes and wonder how I would feel if my parents push me to take up classes at the age of 5. Don’t take a child’s answer ‘I like it’ literally. They do not know what is good for them. As parents, you know what is really good and healthy.

If we don’t manage our expectations and stay free from the conformity of our culture, the one who really suffers will be our child. The impact may not be obvious in near future, but it will surface down the road.

Academic results may be the most important thing in our culture but it may be one of the least in the kingdom. I’m not advocating laziness. If we can impart confidence, security, love and every other virtue that is intrinsic, the rest will be taken care of. If we focus on what is extrinsic, the day will come when the outcome will speak for itself. A lot of youth and young adult issues are directly linked to childhood experiences.

Are we raising a champion scholar in the society or a champion warrior in the Kingdom of God? What we focus on is the proof of what we are seeking.

J, at the age of 6, is still hugging my wife and I to sleep. We intend to let him do so, as long as he wants to. Some say that you should cut it off quickly or let him be independent. But I think that such intimacy is more important than independence, because it gives him a glimpse of how he can grow in intimacy with the Father in heaven. When he understands what it means to depend on Him, I’m ready to release him completely.

As believers, it’s time we re-think and re-model parenting, not to the world’s pattern but heaven’s pattern.

P.S: We are really trusting God for J’s education next year. I reckon that if we trust God in one area, we need to apply that in parenting and every other thing too. We cannot compartmentalize Christianity. So pray with us and for us, that we will walk in His wisdom to lead and guide J. #fathering101 #transformativefathering

Transformative Fathering

When I asked the Father how I should father my son as he is growing day by day, He surprised me with Romans 12:2.

"Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world..." It is so rich and so full. 

Do not be conformed even to the pressure and the expectation of this world. 

Do not be conformed to how a 5 (turning 6) years old should act. 

Do not be conformed to my expectations of him. 

Do not be conformed to what the school or teachers require of him.

There is a whole list of 'do not be conformed...'

The child should be given the freedom (within healthy boundaries) and opportunities to explore the world, with complete acceptance and love from the father.

'Train the child the way he should go...' is not about training him according to what you think is correct and wise. It's about training him to know The Way so that The Way will guide him to know the way he should go. (punk intended)

I think society pressure and books on parenting have misrepresented how the Father sees our child. If parenting books work, you don't need the Bible. If other parents' advice work, you don't need Jesus. 

Disclaimer: I'm not saying these are useless. But your child is fearfully, wonderfully and (uniquely) made. And since God has no grandchild, only He can father our child.

Some believe that you must train your child to be diaper-free by certain age. What IF every child grows differently in different areas? What IF your child will mature and outgrow his need for diaper? What IF forcing (aka 'training') your child to be diaper-free indirectly imparts insecurity and a lack of confidence, because you force him to do what he is not ready, and as a result, he fails many times by wetting the bed? I believe that we don't have to conform to the patterns of this world.

J was breastfed from newborn to the age of 4. All thanks to my amazing wife who perseveres powerfully. Many can't handle that. As a result, J continued to latch until the age of 5. At the age of 4, we began to prepare him by communicating to him. It took one year of preparation to speak to him regularly. When he reached 5, he stopped latching altogether. He cried once. And that was it. There was no withdrawal symptom. We have heard of so many stories of how a child suffered due to (forced) weaning.

Some think that it is ridiculous for a male child to latch until he is 5, because he is a boy. That's human wisdom. What IF the child is so secured in his Mummy's love (bosom) that when he grows up, he is not even tempted by lust, because his foundation is already laid?

I challenge all of us (including me) as believers today, not to be conformed any longer to the patterns of this world ---- and don't just think of reaching the world in evangelism... it applies to parenting too. You cannot compartmentalise Christianity. It either applies to ALL AREAS or NONE.

In 2019, there are a number of things I desire to see growth in... and one of them is fathering. A transformative kind. #fathering101

Manifestation of the Holy Spirit

Taught my son how to depend on Jesus while playing tic-tac-toe.

Then I asked the Holy Spirit to manifest Himself to him at three different times.

First time: He felt Jesus touching both his hands.

Second time: He felt warm.

Third time: He felt electricity.

I love how faithful God is to His children. #fathering101

Fearing God

The Bible is full of paradoxes. God has NOT given us the spirit of fear. Yet the Bible tells us to fear Him. It’s either we fear men/demons or we fear Him.

The Bible doesn’t say that perfect Love drives out all fears. It says that perfect Love “drives out fear....” The context of fear in this passage has to do with punishment/torment (1 John 4:18). Since God’s nature is not about tormenting anyone, His Love does not cast out the fear of the Lord.

Therefore, fearing God can co-exist with loving Him. It is not either or. It is both. Someone said this about the fear of God —— imagine you standing beside the God of the Universe and realise how BIG He is beside you. It is about standing in awe of who He is and show reverence.

If we don’t understand this, we will understand when we become parents.

It is healthy for a child to fear his father, yet love him at the same time. Without such healthy fear, there won’t be any respect for the father. Loving the father encompasses reverence. If my son does not fear me as his father, I have lost every impact on his life. My son must recognise that I am “bigger” than him and thus, he will respect my views and wisdom because I “know more than him.”

Fear of God does the same thing to us. It causes us to surrender and yield to Him instead of doing everything whatsoever according to our own rationale.

Modeling Evangelism

“Papa, does Ah Gong and Ah Ma know Jesus?”

Papa: Ah Ma knows but not Ah Gong.

J: Why you never tell Ah Gong about Jesus?

Papa: I did. But he didn’t believe. We can pray.

J: I have already prayed for them. I also prayed for all my friends in school to know Jesus. I told them but they didn’t believe.

Papa: When did you pray?

J: During nap times... I prayed softly.

Papa: Can you pray for Ah Gong again?

J closed his eyes and whispered a prayer for him.

The heart of evangelism leads to the hand of evangelism. If we model out the importance of reaching the lost, our child will catch it. Some things are caught, rather than taught. #fathering101

Jesus Taught J New Song

J woke up and said, “Papa, I have learnt a new song that nobody taught me before.”

Papa: Who taught you then?

J: Jesus.

And he began to sing...

“God has you

God has you

He gives you toys

He gives you books

He gives you eyes

He gives you mouth

He gives you hands

He gives you legs

He gives you everything

Jesus loves you the most

He loves you most

More than anyone in the world

Trust Jesus

Trust Jesus

And you will go heaven

I want to go and see Jesus

I want to go and see Jesus

New earth blue and brown

New earth blue and brown

Jesus loves you.”

He blew my mind away once again. He sang spontaneously and prophetically. Never underestimate how your child can encounter Jesus in his own secret place.

Our role is simply to expose our child to His Presence so that he can be fathered by the True Father. #fathering101

Finances - God Is Faithful

God is so good!

He is never early. But He is never late. He does things suddenly at the right time.

In between that, it can make you really edgy, so that you have no choice but to trust and lean on Him. #sogood

Tongues & His Voice

I was speaking in tongues when J asked me to speak in normal languages because he doesn’t understand.

So I said, “You can ask Jesus for interpretation. You can speak in tongues and ask Jesus to show you what you are speaking too.”

Then I added, “Can you ask Jesus for a Word for me?”

He nodded and started speaking in tongues...

Then he said, “I know! I saw it! I saw Papa sliding down a rainbow.”

Immediately, I felt Jesus saying, “Rest on and enjoy My promises.”

It was a timely Word because I am waiting for something.

You never know how a child can speak life into your life. #fathering101 #tongues #interpretation #hearingHisvoice

The Genealogy of Jesus Christ

The Genealogy of Jesus Christ 

Now Jesus Himself began His ministry at about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, the son of Heli, 24 the son of Matthat,[d] the son of Levi, the son of Melchi, the son of Janna, the son of Joseph, 25 the son of Mattathiah, the son of Amos, the son of Nahum, the son of Esli, the son of Naggai, 26 the son of Maath, the son of Mattathiah, the son of Semei, the son of Joseph, the son of Judah, 27 the son of Joannas, the son of Rhesa, the son of Zerubbabel, the son of Shealtiel, the son of Neri, 28 the son of Melchi, the son of Addi, the son of Cosam, the son of Elmodam, the son of Er, 29 the son of Jose, the son of Eliezer, the son of Jorim, the son of Matthat, the son of Levi, 30 the son of Simeon, the son of Judah, the son of Joseph, the son of Jonan, the son of Eliakim, 31 the son of Melea, the son of Menan, the son of Mattathah, the son of Nathan, the son of David, 32 the son of Jesse, the son of Obed, the son of Boaz, the son of Salmon, the son of Nahshon, 33 the son of Amminadab, the son of Ram, the son of Hezron, the son of Perez, the son of Judah, 34 the son of Jacob, the son of Isaac, the son of Abraham, the son of Terah, the son of Nahor, 35 the son of Serug, the son of Reu, the son of Peleg, the son of Eber, the son of Shelah, 36 the son of Cainan, the son of Arphaxad, the son of Shem, the son of Noah, the son of Lamech, 37 the son of Methuselah, the son of Enoch, the son of Jared, the son of Mahalalel, the son of Cainan, 38 the son of Enosh, the son of Seth, the son of ADAM, the SON OF GOD. - Luke 3:23-38 (emphasis added)

The last Adam (Jesus) was the Son of God. The first Adam, too, was the son of God.

If Adam was a son to begin with, the true intent of the Gospel is NOT about saving sinners. It is not about the wretched trying to escape the wrath of God. 

The Gospel is about RESTORING LOST SONS. The Gospel is not about going heaven and hell. The Gospel is about returning to the Father, the One who gave you the original identity.

Jesus is NOT the way to heaven. The Bible doesn't say that. Jesus is the Way TO the Father (John 14:6).

It is family. 

It is sonship. 

It is identity.

We are not trying to reach sinners. We are reaching the lost ------orphans who do not know their true Father and their true value. If we can see from that perspective, we will find Christ in everyone of them.

P.S: There are also Christians who don't know their true Father and their true value. Because they believed in a different Father from the original good, good Father.

New Earth, Heaven, Hell, Rapture & Stuff

J asked about the new earth, since he has been learning about Stars and planets.

It was a good opportunity to talk to him on the importance of sharing Christ with his friends; the new earth, rapture, heaven, hell as well as Satan.

J: Yes. I tell my friends about Jesus. But they don’t know how to pray.

J: In the new earth, will there be lions?

Papa: Yes. But the lions will not be eating people. They will be good. There won’t be any more pain. There won’t be any crying and sadness. Everyone will be happy.

J: What happens when Jesus comes back?

Papa: We will go up with Him. But only for those who believe in Him.

J: Why?

Papa: Jesus loves everyone. This is why it is very important for us to pray for people and share with them, so that they can get to know Him. Those who don’t believe will be caught by the bad guy. His name is Satan.

Papa: They will stay on the earth while we go up.

J: What will happen to the earth?

Papa: There will be fire, earthquake and many other stuff going on. Many people may die. But it is the time for them to believe in Him.

J: Will I get to see my Jie Jie and Kor Kor?

Papa: Yes you will. You will see them up there. When the new earth is set up by Jesus, we will all be there together.

A 5-year old can receive more than we think they can. Because there is Someone called the Holy Spirit. Don’t let our human mind hinder the child’s understanding. For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.