Fathering Work

Fathering Work

Recently, I told my son that I'm always working. He replied, "No, you are not."

I said, "When I'm not working, I play with you. I do housework, etc."

He answered, "Playing with me is not work."

I replied, "Playing with you is fathering work."

For the next few days onward, he introduced this new phrase into his own dictionary.

"Papa, is it time for fathering work?"

"Papa, can I go swimming with you? Because it's part of your fathering work."

"Papa, are you free now? Don't forget your fathering work."

Well, looks like I have created own trouble for myself.

The Gift of The Gab

My son went downstairs for a short 5 min walk. He saw a stranger (about the same age) and asked, "Do you want to play the see-saw?"

And it is done. One liner works.

He came up after 5 minutes and shared that he made a new friend and had arranged to meet him the next day (which is today) to play.

This afternoon, he spent time with this new friend, playing and chatting.

I told my wife that he would have no problem picking girls up next time but I would prefer that God uses him to evangelise effortlessly.

He's 10 and never ceases to amuse me with his gift of the gab because he's so different from both my wife and me.

Sinning Deliberately?

Sinning Deliberately?

What does it mean to sin deliberately? Did the Corinthian church sin deliberately by living in all kinds of sins after believing in Christ?

Context is always King. Without context, a verse is always plucked out for imposition.

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. - Heb 10:26-27

If we read the whole context of Hebrews 10, we will know that the writer was not talking about all kinds of deliberate sins. There is only one particular sin where you can expect judgment ----- the rejection of the Saviour (Jn 3:18; Matt 12:31-32).

Since Heb 10:26 begins with 'For' (or because), we must look at the preceding verses.

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, for He who promised is faithful... and all the more as you see 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫. - Heb 10:23-25

The Hebrew believers were going through severe persecution such that some were thinking of returning to Judaism. The writer (Paul or Barnabas) was encouraging them to hold fast to Christ without shrinking back (Heb 10:36-39).

He reminded them of their earlier days when they came to the faith (Heb 10:32-24) before telling them, "𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, which has a great reward." (Heb 10:35)

In the context of all these, to "𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲" has nothing to do with habitual sins. It has to do with 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭.

Sin deliberately = Rejecting Christ

By rejecting Christ, we are trampling underfoot the Son of God and profaning His covenant.

How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝, and has 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 by which he was sanctified, and has 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞? - Heb 10:29

For a believer who believes in Him as your Saviour, you can no longer sin deliberately. You can choose to walk in the ways of the old man instead of the New Man, but that is still not sinning deliberately.

Pleasing Others

Pleasing Others

Since it is impossible to please everyone, you will always step on someone's toes. Therefore, it's better to focus your time, energy and resources to please those who matter most to you.

Jesus didn't call us to be nice. Nice is not Christianity. He called us to be truthful and loving, which means that you will offend somebody someday, either because you are truthful or/and because you are gracious.

Religion always takes offence because it needs to be defended. It's security lies in what has been achieved. 

Grace overlooks offence because it doesn't need to be defended. It's security lies in what has been received freely.

The difference between secular men and religious men is only the arena in which they operate in. One is secular, while the other is spiritual. But the problem they both have is actually the same ------ trapped by achievements, whether secular or spiritual. 

"Look at what I have done" is the trophy that they have built on.

But true security lies in "Look at what Christ has done." The moment we look away from that Look, we fall from grace into religion, which is the beginning of the fear of man and the need to please everyone in order to keep that trophy.

God Is Ever Present In Our Lives

Our son woke up and started revising his Science during brekkie, to prepare for his Science revision paper held in the afternoon by the homeschooling community. He's taking his first ever MOE exam this year for homeschoolers.

I said, "Have you spent time with God and done your journal?"

He replied, "Not yet."

I responded, "That is the priority. Put aside your revision and do that first. Hard work can only bring you this far. What you need is God in your life."

Wifey added, "I agree with Dad. Put God first."

We need to show and teach our child that God doesn't just exist on Sundays in church buildings. He exists in our daily lives and in the decisions we make.

He is not only our ever-present Help. He is also ever present.

Sonship Manifested As Fathers

There is no perfect father on earth. Neither can you learn to be a better father through parenting courses and skills.

Fathering has to do with the heart. The heart of the matter lies with the matter of the heart. As believers, God has given you and me a brand new heart so that we can walk out a New and Living Way.

We are not the old trying to become better fathers. We are the new creation (New Man) learning to walk out our true identity in Him, through continual communion with the Father.

Because only fathered fathers father.

This means that our goal is not to become better fathers. We can't. It's not by trying. It's by transforming. Our goal is to focus on being sons of God.

The more we receive from Him as sons, the more we give of ourselves as fathers.

There are alot of people looking for good father figures because they did not experience good fathering. They are just one step from the good Father Who is constantly seeking them.

Alot of the depressive and suicidal cases can be prevented if we receive affirmation and love from the Father above.

When we know who we are in His presence, we will know who to be in our child's presence.

Fathering is a journey and how far we want to go depends on our zeal to know Him more.

The highest call on earth is to be a father. The highest call from heaven is to be a son. When heaven is on earth, sonship will be manifested as fathers.

Happy blessed Father's Day to all of you!

My Life Is Too Good

Earlier in the morning, I told my son, "Your life is too good, because you are not doing this... you are not doing that..."

On second thought, I felt I was operating from Asian parenting mode. So I decided to operate from bible parenting mode.

I told him, "Your life is too good, because you (will) have this... and you (will) have that... My life is too good, because I (will) have this... and I (will) have that...

I continued, "My life is too good, because I lay hands on the sick and they are healed."

My son interrupted, "Me too."

I continued, "My life is too good, because I lay hands on those who are incurable and they are healed."

My son chipped in, "Me too."

I continued, "My life is too good, because I lay hands on the dead in Singapore and they are raised."

My son said, "Me too."

THEN MY SON SAID, "My life is too good, because I lay hands on Lee Kuan Yew and he's raised from the dead to discipline other ministers in Singapore."

Alright... this came from nowhere, and he must have heard our conversations.

P.S: This must be the only reason why you shouldn't home-school your kid, if you want a mainstream kid.

Life's Entanglement

Life's Entanglement

What we are entangled in reveals our pursuit. And what we focus our time, resources and energy on reveals our entanglement.

No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the One who enlisted him. - 2 Tim 2:4

As long as we are living in this world, life's entanglement is part and parcel of our assignment. It takes deliberate efforts and decisions to avoid being easily entangled by them. It is not easy, but it is not impossible.

My wife and I agree that most of us, Singaporeans, love to remain status quo. We do not like inconvenience and changes. We do not like to be in the minority. As Singaporeans, we are all raised in such a culture where we do not challenge the social norms. We are caught up in the rat race without realising that we are running it like everyone else.

It's not just in the context of the world. It is also in the context of Singapore churches. We do not want to rock the boat. We prefer to remain comfortable. As a result, we get entangled easily by the world without realisation.

Recently, I heard a minister sharing the term 'Christian'. He said, "We are so used to the term ---- Christian, that we don't define the word. A Christian can be one who follows Christ and submits to His ways; yet a Christian can also be one who attends church, serves in the church but lives like anyone else in the world. There are many definitions but there is only one true definition."

We have learnt to live as Christians who get entangled with worldly pursuits, yet think that we are totally fine because we attend church services, go to cellgroup, serve in ministries, etc.

Christianity is not about lifestyle living. It is about becoming the One who enlisted us. Yes, everyone is an excellence-in-progress. But there must still be progress, instead of the standard excuse of saying 'Well, I am a work-in-progress'. 

Sowing the right seed always causes it to grow, even if it takes time to grow. But entanglements will choke the seed and hinder it's growth.

What kind of entanglement are you holding on to, that it's time to let go?

The Nature Of The Father Who Provides

The Nature Of The Father Who Provides

In these 8 years, I have encountered the nature of the Father who provides.

I don't draw a paycheck every month like a regular employee. When a sales deal is closed, it can take several months before I get paid. Some deals can even take up to more than a year.

Well, you don't get to close a sales deal every month. Consumers think that one sales deal is alot of money, but little did they know that you need to split the amount into 5 months (without cpf contribution), for example, if you close a HDB sales deal. Because it takes 5 months for you to get paid after the work is done. This hasn't included the duration you took from marketing the unit to the actual sales of the unit.

Stacked Homes has written a good article on the income of property agents. You may read here: https://stackedhomes.com/editorial/we-reveal-how-much-property-agents-in-singapore-are-really-making-heres-a-detailed-breakdown/#gs.vq8f9o

For this reason, it is not easy to plan for the needs of the family as I am the sole bread winner. There can be unforeseen circumstances.

But because we have a loving Father who provides, He provides the solution BEFORE a need arises, just as He did for Abram and Jonah. His nature is consistent and never changing.

He saw the need in your life in ADVANCE and went ahead to provide the solution BEFORE that need even arises in your life. This is how I encountered Him over and over again in my real estate work. He provides the deals FIRST, because He knows that it takes several months before the income comes in.

No employee likes their monthly salary to be cut for the work that they have put in. They want to be paid for their service to the company. If your boss comes to you and says, "Hey, can we reduce your income this month? You just bless the company, alright?" How would you feel?

Yet in our real estate work, consumers find ways to cut our income. This is because people do not usually put themselves in the shoes of others. They do not want to be shortchanged in their own salary by their bosses. But they do not mind shortchanging others in their income.

They don't go to the law firm and say, "Reduce your legal fees". They don't go to the bank and say, "Reduce your bank fees". They don't go to the doctor and say, "Reduce your consultation fees." They don't go to the insurance agent and say, "Reduce your insurance fees". But they like to reduce property agent's fees.

It is a cutthroat industry, which explains why many departed from the faith for the sake of surviving/thriving in this real estate industry.

Nonetheless, I want to say to my fellow believing property agents that God is Our Provider and He provides the Solution BEFORE a need arises in your life. So we can continue to trust Him without taking things into our own hands. He is faithful and loving.

P.S: And as Christian property agents, we should always co-broke 50-50 with other agents without shortchanging them. For we have a God who does not shortchange us. Yes, others can shortchange us, but we need to walk in a different Spirit if we are of the Kingdom. And I always practise co-broke at 50-50 regardless of the market condition.

Breaking Fast for J

My son breaks fast today. This is his second year of fast. 

As a child, he's definitely delighted that he can touch sugar again.

My wifey said, "Maybe we should reward him because it's not easy for a child to do so."

I said, "But fasting does not get any reward from God." She replied, "That's very true."

Fasting does not earn you any merit. It doesn't help you get rewarded from God. For that would be asceticism, which is religion. There is nothing we can do to earn grace, which releases every spiritual blessing through faith in Christ and His finished works alone.

Many of today's church fast are religious in nature. But there can still be results, because of faith-expectation (during the religious fast), which works regardless of any fasting involved. Faith-expectation is what positions us to receive the grace that has already been released on the Cross.

My son heard our conversation. So I asked him, "How does it feel like in this fast?" He responded, "I learnt to control my desires." And I explained, "If you can control your stomach's desires, you can control any other desire."

He nodded, "Okay."

The only purpose of fasting is to keep the crucified man in the grave, because life always desires to resurrect him. It helps to direct the focus on Him, and thus, the New Man created in us.

Fasting - My Son

Every year, I will put my son through a fast. He is not allowed to touch anything with sugar. No candies, no sugared drinks, no cold drinks, no desserts, no snacks, etc.

Today is day 2 and he is grumbling and complaining. I told him, "You either do this simple fast or you follow mine."

I'm his father. I'm not here to please him. I'm here to train him. If we let a child constantly have his desires, he will grow up looking for instant gratification, which will get him in trouble.

In the New Covenant, fasting doesn't move God. You can fast throughout the Lent season all the way to Resurrection Sunday and it won't move God a single inch. God is not moved by your performance and your effort. He is moved by Grace (through Jesus) through faith.

There is nothing paid on the Cross that has not been given to us. If we have to fast to get something from God, then Jesus died in vain. That would be mocking the Cross and denying the Gospel of Christ.

Whenever someone tells me that he's fasting for God to move in this area or that area, I know that he's still into religion. And this statement can get the religious ones upset.

Fasting cannot bend the hand of God to do your will. It bends yours to do His. It kills the desire to resurrect the crucified, old self, who is not who you really are.

When you can de-throne your stomach's desires, you are master over your body. For you are not under law, but under grace.

I'm privileged to be J's father. And as a father, I can train him to be master over his body.

Homeschooling & Property Industry

Homeschooling & Property Industry

It has been 8 years since I left full-time church ministry to enter into the real estate industry for the purpose of fathering my son in his foundation years.

While I left the full-time church ministry, Kingdom ministry has not left me. For the past 8 years, I have been more zealous than before and have never stopped ministering online and offline. I have reached out to individuals way more than I did when I was working in the church.

I have not lost sight of the purpose of why I left full-time ministry. This is the reason why my wife and I chose to homeschool our child after his pre-school years. This is why my wife resigned from her job as a teacher (with stable income) to educate my son.

Being in the property industry has not been easy. I uphold Kingdom values and every ounce of it contradicts the Mammon values in the real estate business. As a result, I have a team but I often walk alone, because we are not supposed to be unequally yoked.

By choosing not to handle property deals the way we are taught to do so, I quickly become the minority. When everyone is pushing for new launch projects as encouraged by our agencies (who are stakeholders), I find myself unable to do so for the sake of a clear conscience.

I am not the top salesperson who clocks million dollars commission. Neither am I the kind who keeps putting out award-winning posts. Yet there is always grace from God who brings people into my life, for which I am grateful.

I want to thank all of them ---- my friends and clients who believe in me, trust me and graciously allow me to journey with them in their real estate decisions and progressions.

My family and I are thankful. For without you being part of God's grace in our lives, we would not be able to continue homeschooling and ministering in the Kingdom.

Thank You Jesus! And thank you all!

P.S: It is impossible to reflect the Kingdom if we are reflecting more and more like the world.

What Is Enough?

What Is Enough?

Financial sufficiency has different meanings for different people. It is very subjective. What is enough?

For some, having enough is to have food on the table.

For some, having enough is to have big cars and houses.

I have people telling me that they are trusting God to provide for them, yet they drive luxury cars (BMW and above is considered luxury in my humble opinion, but again, it's subjective for others), having $2mil over property, etc. 

And I have people trusting God to provide for them, and they are living from day to day for bread on the table.

I have people saying that they don't have money, yet they have more than one property and few hundred thousand dollars in savings. And I have people saying that they don't have money, and they are waiting for paycheck every month to live by.

Working in the present industry has shown me so much about people's views on finances. And those who really walk out the Kingdom values (or not). Money is not evil. But it always exposes the heart.

People often judge by the surface. It is shallow. They look at the property news. It's hot and booming. And they look at me, "Wilson, you must be doing very well." Well or not, I will never say that I'm not doing well. Neither will I say that I am doing well.

To say that I am not doing well is to speak contrary to the Word of God. I will never say it, because I am trained to speak the Word. It took me so many years to learn how to speak the Word.

To say that I am doing well is kind of like giving wrong impression and not being truthful. Even the word 'well' is very subjective for different people. What is 'well'? And what is enough?

My view of 'what is enough' definitely differs from many. Because unlike what many people think, I didn't enter the property industry to earn alot of money. Yes, maybe 99% enter for that reason, but there is always that 1%. I just need enough for my family. And honestly, my 'enough' is lower than majority of the people I know.

"Wilson, you enter property for money right?"

"Yes, did you enter your current job for free?"

We all need a job that has an income because we are IN the world. If you don't need money, then quit your job. Nobody works for free. You do your job, you get paid a salary. I do my job, I get paid a commission. It's the same.

Why are we so shallow in looking at the surface? Shallow conversations take place in a society where materialism and consumerism are widespread (like Singapore). 

I long for deeper conversations. Perhaps this is why I only have few in the inner circle.

What is enough? It's a question that perhaps we as Christians should seek God for deeper understanding.

But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. - Phil 3:13b-16

Giving To The Poor

Though we don't practise the allocation of finances due to the needs of the family, we want to ensure that our child learns financial literacy.

So we taught him to practise keeping 70% of his pocket money, while being empowered to use 30% of it.

For this year's angbao money that he received, he decided to apportion an amount from his 30% to give to the poor. On his own accord without anyone asking him to do so.

Today, he gave some away to the poor. And I decided to give some to him, without any expectation on his part.

He was delighted. Then he quoted this to me, "Give and it will be given back to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured onto your lap."

I'm so proud of him.

The best gift we can give to our child is to direct him to the Father who will father him.

The Power of Homeschooling

The power of homeschooling...

Pruning plants and feeding his terrapin in the morning while kids rush to schools.

People study hard and work hard to reach one end goal: retirement --- so that they can prune plants in the morning when they wake up.

My boy starts from retirement. For he is complete in Christ. Lol. #homeschooling 

P.S: On a serious note, perhaps retirement should not be your end goal in life. Life is bigger and much more than that.