Marriage Is An Unconditional Covenant Part 1

This is off-topic from Fathering but it represents the Father God's heart on marriage.

Marriage Is An Unconditional Covenant Part 1

There has been many teachings on marriage, divorce and re-marriage all over the world. Recently, I stumbled upon a teaching by a man who has a significant sphere of influence internationally.

He taught a convincing message about divorce and how it is biblically legal in the eyes of God. For a moment, I was gripped by the message. Because of strong Scripture references, as well as strong back-up from a Jewish Christian Rabbi (who also taught the Scriptures with clear Hebrew and Greek) who fully understood the Jewish culture, I was pretty affected. I knew that I could not simply say that divorce is not accepted by God. I could not simply say that "your teachings are wrong". For you to say that divorce is not accepted by God, you cannot just use "God hates divorce" from Malachi 2. Because many argued that the Hebrew word there is "put away" - a cultural Jewish practice that was and still is predominant now. Apparently, you can put away your wife and not grant her a divorce. She can't re-marry, but you can. It is believed that Jesus was addressing the issue of "putting away" in Matthew 19, Mark 10 and Luke 16.

Hence, I needed to go back to the Scriptures and study clearly before I could reason appropriately. I spent much time dwelling on it and meditating on it. Even when I lie on my bed to sleep, my whole mind was on it.

It is a topic that is too important to be ignorant. A single, wrong interpretation can destroy many marriages and lives in the church. And while I'm just an ordinary father, I strongly urge leaders to study and pray through this topic seriously. Because lives are in their hands. They are accountable to God for the flocks.

Our belief, without clear Scriptural understanding, is built on the shaky sand. Unless we can clearly explain and reason from Scriptures, we need to go back and study over and over and over again.

Because of the seriousness of this topic, I suggest that anyone doesn't simply take what I am going to share, but go back to the Word for yourself.

At the same time, I welcome healthy discussions (hostile comments will be removed) so that it can be sharpened deeper. And I am open to be corrected.

Marrriage is an unconditional covenant. It is NOT a certificate or contract where you can legally break.

Matthew 19:5-6 - For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Malachi 2:14 - Yet she is your companion and your wife by COVENANT. (emphasis added)

For those who are interested to hear the new understanding on marriage, divorce and re-marriage, check out this man's teaching here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Zi4LTqlRA

Disclaimer: I honour this man. By putting out his video teaching, I am by no means judging or criticising him. I love him and I have reasoned with him a little about this topic, though I didn't get the explanations I needed. By putting this video, it gives everyone a fair place to listen to the context and go back to the Word yourself.

For those who are interested to know the Jewish culture and how the Jewish Christian Rabbi explained the Scriptures using Hebrew and Greek, check out his teaching here:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aVY7S2UOd1s

So many felt liberated and set free by this teaching. But does liberation mean it is truth?

I will explain more in Part 2. #marriage #covenant

P.S: For those who went through a divorce, the love and the grace of God super abounds. He loves you just the same as He loves anyone. He looks at you and says, "You are My precious, beloved, cherished child. You are My lovely bride." There is NO condemnation.

Father and Son day at Eco Farm with Homeschooling Co-op Groups

Father and Son day at Eco Farm with Homeschooling Co-op groups.

I'm surprised that J actually handled earthworms, millipede, frog, etc.

It's a sad reality that the lease is going to be up in 2 years' time and our G is taking over for army camp. I feel sad for the farmer and owner who gave 20 years of his life devoting to this farm, advocating organic growth instead of genetic seeds that are common in our present world. He can't continue his passion because the land belongs to our G and he doesn't have so much money to re-locate. 

Most of the vegetables we eat are genetically grown - no wonder so many people have health issues. Even insects don't eat genetically grown plants.

In future, all our local farms will extinct. Our kids can only learn from textbook and videos, but they won't get to see the real deal unless they travel overseas :( 

What would SG be like without farms? #fathering101

Part 18: The Call of God & Identity

Few days ago, I was just reflecting on the call of God. It is widespread for churches to teach their members to find out their calling in life. The "call of God" has been emphasized so significantly that it left many believers confused as they continually seek to discover what they should do in life.

Let me submit to us that the so-called "call of God" is one of the most disastrous teachings. When believers are so focused on finding out what they should specifically do in life, they neglect LIFE itself. 

Even choosing a spouse becomes, "I better find one that will help me to fulfill my call in life. Else she may hinder my call. She may slow me down." That, in itself, is self-focused, self-centred, 'all about me' attitude. Besides, when did the Bible ever say that the spouse is here to help you fulfill your 'call'?

When believers focus on their call, they begin to wonder which 'call' is more significant; which 'call' is better; which 'call' receives more applause from men. That is a distortion from the truth.

Disclaimer: God does indeed have assignments for us in this life. And everyone has a different role to play in the kingdom. But the assignment is not the most important thing. If it were, Jesus and apostle Paul would have talked a fair bit on that.

The call of God, really, is not about assignments. It is not about doing. It is about BEING. The CALL OF GOD is about walking in the fullness of our identity as sons and daughters.

There are too many verses that point to what the call of God really means. These are just a few.

John 20:21 - So Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you."

- Jesus was sent to reveal the Father. We are sent to reveal Jesus. The call of God is to represent Christ in love (which includes power).

Acts 1:8 - But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall BE witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” (emphasis added)

- The call of God is to BE His witnesses. In short, represent Christ as sons and daughters.

John 15:5,8 - I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing... By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

- We are not trying to be the branches. We already are. We are sons and daughters. We are called to bear fruit in Christ. The fruit we are to bear is LOVE.

John 13:35 - By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

Ephesians 4:1 - I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.

- Ephesians 1-3 talks about the calling, which is IDENTITY.

Romans 11:28-29 - Concerning the gospel they are enemies for your sake, but concerning the election they are beloved for the sake of the fathers. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

- The calling of God is irrevocable. It is referring to the election. In context, it is about the Jews. It is about their call as God's sons! Back to identity :)

1 Corinthians 1:23-24 - but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.

- Those who are called are IN Christ. Identity again!

1 Corinthians 11:1 - Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

- Paul loved to tell others to become like Christ. Because that's our calling.

Phil 3:14 - I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

- The upward call of God is to lay hold of what Christ has paid for us to walk in (Phil 3:12). That's identity.

1 Timothy 6:12 - Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

- We are called because we have inherited eternal life. Eternal life is not going to heaven. It is knowing and manifesting the fullness of heaven.

The call of God is probably the clearest in Romans 8.

Romans 8:29-30 - For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be CONFORMED TO THE IMAGE OF HIS SON, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. (emphasis added)

The call of God is for us to be CONFORMED to the image of Christ. If we focus purely on this, we will not be concerned with discovering our assignments. We will not be perplexed.

Because whichever job you do presently, it's about becoming like Christ. Whichever spouse you choose, it's about becoming like Christ. Whether you know assignment or not, it's about becoming like Christ. Whether you serve in church ministry or not, it's about becoming like Christ. Whether you work in full-time church ministry or marketplace or a stayed-home mum, it's always about the latter and not the former. Because you can do the former and miss out becoming like Christ. That is NOT walking worthy of the call of God (Eph 4:1) in our lives.

This is the most important and true call of God in our lives. To walk in the fullness of our IDENTITY. #identity

Tantrum

Tantrum

J wanted to eat his favourite snack just before dinner. After telling him a few times that he needed to have his dinner first, he was upset. He said to me, "Papa, I am angry."

I replied, "Sure. You can be angry."

We have taught him to express his emotions, rather than suppressing them. We have taught him to go to the reflection corner in his room to express his emotions to Jesus and think through. We also taught him to speak in tongues if he couldn't settle with his emotions.

This time, after saying that he was angry, he added, "I'm going to the reflection corner."

I thought it was hilarious for a 4-year old to say that, so I hid behind the wall to eavesdrop. This is what he said to himself and did...

J: I'm so angry! I'm angry that I cannot eat snack.

J: (paused)

J: she ba ka ba she ba ka...

He started speaking in tongues. And it went louder and louder for a short while before everything ceased.

Then he came out of his room and looked at me, saying, "Papa, I'm done."

Me: Are you now ready to eat your dinner?

J: Yes.

Me: Can you finish your dinner before we talk about snack?

J: Yes.

We deal with his tantrum by letting him rant. He knows that when he is done, he has to come back and do what is required. Tantrum won't change the parents' decision, just as tantrum won't bend the hand of God. #fathering101

Part 17: Transformation And Identity

Some people think that our lives are transformed at the altar. They refer to the altar call. Others think that encounters transform us. If this is true, then Jesus and the apostle Paul must be misled to think otherwise. 

Nowhere in the Gospel and the epistles talk about transformation at the altar call. Jesus talked about knowing the truth to bear fruit (John 8:31-32; John 15:5), while Paul wrote about renewing your mind for transformation (Romans 12:2; 2 Cor 3:18). While Paul indeed had an encounter on the road to Damascus, it was what he did with the truth that transformed him (Gal 1:17-18). Else he would not have written Romans 12:2.

There are far too many who go to the altar call and have many encounters over and over again, without any life transformation. Besides, there are also many who don't experience dramatic encounters. If encounters really transform lives, does that mean they cannot be transformed?

I submit to us that the key to transformation lies with mind renewal.

Most believers know how the Father sees them. But that in itself, won't change them. It is not enough to know how the Father sees you.

You need to know how to see yourself the very same way the Father sees you. When you stand and look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?

2 Corinthians 3:18 says "we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord..."

Apostle Paul was comparing Old Covenant with the New Covenant (from glory to glory). In the Old Covenant, the Most Holy Place was veiled from our face. We couldn't see clearly who Christ is and who we are. But in the New Covenant, the veil was torn (rent open) when Christ died on the Cross. Now we see clearly who He is and who we are.

Because we now have an unveiled face before the Most Holy Place, there is nothing we need to hide or feel ashamed of when we look at the mirror. 

"...are being transformed into the SAME image from (Old Covenant) glory to (New Covenant) glory..."

The Old Covenant glory was the Law = ministry of death = ministry of condemnation. The New Covenant glory is Christ = ministry of the Spirit = ministry of righteousness (2 Cor 3:7-9). 

Thus, what you see in the mirror affects your transformation. Because what you see in the mirror is the SAME image you become. If you can look in the mirror and see yourself the same way the Father sees you --- righteous, holy, blameless, above reproach, pure, loving, patient, etc., you are transformed into that image.

It says in 2 Cor 3:18 that the transformation is "...just as by the Spirit of the Lord..." In other words, it is the Holy Spirit who conforms you into the image of Christ (Rom 8:29), but He can't transform you unless you renew your mind (Romans 12:2 - "...be transformed by the renewing of your mind...") to see yourself in the mirror the same way the Father sees you.

I used to think that we should see Christ when we look in the mirror. But if you look at the mirror and you see a Jewish guy with long hair and white robe, it will be pretty flaky or even scary. Especially if you are a girl. If I look in the mirror, I should see Wilson.

What does that mean? I should see Christ IN me when I look in the mirror. I need to acknowledge every good thing which is IN me in Christ (Philemon 6), because of the New Man He has put IN me (2 Cor 5:17).

When I look in the mirror, I see Christ IN me, the hope of glory.

It is not enough to know how the Father sees us. We need to know how to see ourselves the same way the Father sees us.

So the next time when you look in the mirror, you should go, "Looking good, baby!" #identity #transformation

 

Part 16: Anointing & Identity

Over the years, I have heard so many teachings on anointing. To even spell 'anointings' as plural goes to show how far we have moved away from the New Covenant Scriptures.

It has become spiritually trendy to teach about different types of anointing, especially in different seasons. This leads to consumerism. 

"Come and get the special anointing!" 

"Oh don't miss this anointing that will be released by God in this breakthrough season!" 

"Come and receive an impartation for miracle anointing, breakthrough anointing, Elijah's anointing, double portion of anointing, business anointing, money anointing, breaker's anointing, and the list goes on." I like to joke on this, "I'll break your anointing."

If we don't stay to the truth in the Word, we will run after every kind of hype and teachings. We will run after the 'NOW' prophetic words instead of the God-breathed, written Word. Even Jesus had the entire emphasis on, "IT IS WRITTEN..." True living word flows out from the written word.

1 John 2:27 says "But the anointing which you have received from Him ABIDES in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing TEACHES you concerning ALL THINGS, and is TRUE, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him." (emphasis added)

What is 'the anointing' that John was referring to?

New Living Translation translates the word 'anointing' as 'Holy Spirit.' But we can simply let Scriptures interpret Scriptures.

John 14:26 - But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will TEACH you ALL THINGS, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. (emphasis added)

John 16:13 - However, when He, the Spirit of TRUTH, has come, He will guide you into all TRUTH; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. (emphasis added)

It is clear that the anointing refers to the Holy Spirit. John said that the anointing abides (remains) in you (1 John 2:27). Jesus said the same thing in John 14:16 - "...He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever."

To abide = to remain = to stay.

The Greek Lexicon specifically uses these phrases, "not to depart, not to leave, to continue to be present" for the word 'abide'.

If the only anointing mentioned in the New Covenant is the Holy Spirit and if the anointing NEVER ever departs, it tells us a few things:

1) There is no other kind of anointing. Miracle anointing? Elisha's anointing? Breakthrough anointing? If that is true, you can tag anything with the word 'anointing'.

- What about fathering anointing? What about buffet anointing? What about eating anointing? What about running anointing? What about movie anointing? Come on...

- There is only ONE anointing. He is the Holy Spirit. Period.

2) The anointing (Holy Spirit) can't leave you. He has come to stay permanently. 

- Maybe yours can come and depart. But mine has come to stay.

- Because the anointing doesn't depart, you can be very annoying and still have the anointing.

3) The anointing cannot leak. Because the Spirit comes in FULL measure (John 3:34). He can be grieved and quenched but there is no leaking, because He has come to ABIDE.

When the Holy Spirit descended upon Jesus after baptism, it was a proof of His Sonship. The Father says, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."

Luke 4:18 - The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor.

Because Jesus was the Son, He was anointed. Because He was anointed, the Holy Spirit was upon Him.

Acts 10:38 - ...how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth WITH the Holy Spirit... (emphasis added)

Because we are sons (and daughters) of God, we are anointed with the full measure of the Holy Spirit. It is now left to us whether we believe in who we really are and walk in that measure that God has already poured out.

You don't need another impartation or another kind of anointing. The anointing (the Holy Spirit) you received is full and complete. #identity

 

Fathered Fathers Father

Only when we allow the Father (Above) to father us, will we know how to father our children.

The greatest gift the Father (Above) gave us is His presence. Therefore, the greatest gift we can give to our children is not presents. Neither is it about being present. It's giving them our presence.

Presence is not about the quantity of time being together. We can have a lot of time with our child, but being present does not equate to giving them our presence. The difference between the two lies in the heart motivation.

God is always present with us. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. Yet He makes it a point to give us His presence so that we can know and experience His love. The heart motivation of His presence is Love.

Presence releases value and identity to our children. It says, "You are worth so much that I'm giving you my full attention. I love you NOT because you are my precious. You are my precious BECAUSE I love you." It is Love that produces value and identity, not value/identity  that produces love. God did not love us because we are His children. We are His children because He IS Love. This is why He created Adam.

As we celebrate Father's Day, may we remember to give our children the greatest gift of Presence. #fathering101

Happy Father's Day

When my son heard from my wife that it's Father's Day today, he went into his room, closed the door and did this, without anyone telling him to do so.

On his own, he wrapped up a gift with white A4-sized papers using scotch tapes. He wrote my name. Once he was done, he ran out of the room happily to present his gift to me and said, "Happy Father's Day."

I am loved by him. #fathering101

 

Hearing God's Voice Starts Early Part 3

We were at bus interchange when we asked J, "Which bus will come first?"

Wifey: J, you pray and ask Jesus.

J closed his eyes. Wifey told me not to say first. I had a vague impression of bus 85 but I kept quiet.

J opened his eyes and said, "Bus 85!"

Wifey asked me, "Did you also get 85?" I said "Yes, a vague impression."

It's a confirmation.

So we waited and bus 85 arrived first. Jesus! #hearinggod #fathering101 3

We were at bus interchange when we asked J, "Which bus will come first?"

Wifey: J, you pray and ask Jesus.

J closed his eyes. Wifey told me not to say first. I had a vague impression of bus 85 but I kept quiet.

J opened his eyes and said, "Bus 85!"

Wifey asked me, "Did you also get 85?" I said "Yes, a vague impression."

It's a confirmation.

So we waited and bus 85 arrived first. Jesus! #hearinggod #fathering101

My son loves me

Lately, my son has been saying spontaneously, "Papa, I love you so much." When I return home, he would excitedly welcome me like a dog does to it's owner. He's not a dog, of course.

My wife said, "I think you are winning him over and I'm losing."

I said, "There is no competition yah."

She replied, "Yes. I'm secured and I'm happy for that."

This is the best decision I have made to leave full-time church ministry after God spoke, "Fathering is your highest call." #fathering101

He is my precious.

Dreams

Yesterday, I asked J if he had a dream on the previous night. He said, "Yes." I asked him what the dream was. He said, "I saw Jesus." I asked, "What did Jesus say?" J replied, "I love you."

This morning, I asked the same thing again. He replied, "I saw Jesus again." I wondered what Jesus said to him. He added, "Jesus said He will buy me a toy. And He said that I swim very well."

Looks like Jesus is pouring out His affirmation towards him.

And true enough, I just confirmed the closing of a deal. So I shall get him a toy. Jesus! #fathering101

Grace Is Surprised Attack

This morning, I had a challenging time with J.

Parenting is probably the toughest job on earth. It requires modeling, not simply educating.

As it was raining cats and dogs, J requested for his little Thomas umbrella. Granted... but we forgot to bring along his Paw Patrol water bottle. Usually, we'll prepare his bottle the night before and insert it at the side pocket of his bag. However, as he had recently requested his Mama to buy the big Paw Patrol bottle, we had to put it on the table each time after we have prepared.

J was exhilarated that he would bring the Thomas umbrella that he forgot about his bottle.

Cut the long story short... We arrived at his nursery. As his sandals were wet from the rain, I requested him to leave them outside the shoe cabinet. He insisted not. Despite much explanations, he preferred to put them in the shoe cabinet. Well, his teacher was waiting for him to do the routine checks and registration. After much reasoning, he finally relented and allowed me to leave the shoes outside.

As his teacher was doing the routine checks, he suddenly realised that the Paw Patrol bottle wasn't in his bag. Man... he was pretty disappointed and upset. He didn't want to go in to his class. He insisted on going home to take. I had to ask the teacher to go in for her class, while I took time to talk to him.

Tried different ways of communicating but to no avail. He wanted his bottle. He asked if I could go home and bring back for him. I said, "No." I wanted him to learn how to let go when things don't turn out the way he expected. I wanted him to learn about taking responsibility for his own thing. I wanted him to know that he can't expect people to bring him what he has forgotten to bring. That would lead to complacency and taking others for granted.

His teacher came out thrice to see if he was ready. She tried encouraging him to go in but failed. So I politely requested to have more time with him to talk through.

Then a thought came into my mind. So I asked, "J, did you do your laundry last evening when you reached home?"

(We taught him to take out his used towel, blanket and school uniform from the school bag and place them into the laundry bag.)

J: No.

Me: Are you supposed to do your laundry each time when you reach home?

J: Yes.

Me: So did you forget to do it yesterday?

J: Yes.

Me: Did Papa get upset and insist that you do it?

J: No.

Me: So now that we have forgotten to bring the bottle... are you going to insist that Papa goes back and brings it to you?

J: No.

That settled it.

This is parenting by reminding him of grace.

Freely we have received God's grace, freely we will release grace to others. Each time when we are reminded of how gracious and merciful God is, we will be gracious and merciful towards others.

He had received grace regarding the laundry. By reminding him of what he had received, it became easy for him to overlook the bottle thingy. Jesus!

And now... I'm getting ready to bring him the Paw Patrol bottle. It will be a surprise for him, because he would not have expected me to bring, when I already said "No".

Now that he has learnt the proper value through the teaching moment, I am ready to give him a surprise attack.

Because Grace is a surprised attack.

Moments Like This

In the middle of his sleep, my son woke up, caressed my head and said, "I like Papa, you know?"

You are a father for moments like this...

Hearing God's Voice Starts Early Part 2

Bus interchange part 2

While walking towards bus interchange, J said, "Mama, we need to check the screen."

I responded, "J, remember? Just ask Jesus."

He closed his eyes and said, "Jesus, what number would come first?"

I said, "I have gotten bus 136. What about you?"

He said, "I also have 136."

By faith, we walked towards bus 136 arrival point. And it indeed came first. Jesus!

Freely Received, Freely Give

Today, my wife bought J a sling pouch. It's for him to keep his ez-link card, as well as some coins and notes.

We gave him some money so that we can teach him how to steward money. At the same time, he will pick up calculation and learn to be wise in his spending.

He was overjoyed and exhilarated with his pouch. From afternoon to evening, he kept telling us, "Mama, Papa, I want to pay for you. Later you buy things and I will pay."

My wife replied, "You are so eager to pay. Do you have a lot of money?"

It suddenly dawned on me that it is effortless and natural to give away what you have freely received. Freely you have received, freely you will give.

J couldn't wait to give because he had received money freely from both of us.

Often, we find it hard to give away what we have because of wrong perspective. We deem that we are the ones who work hard for the money. If we spend much time, energy and effort to work for it, we will naturally be reluctant to give generously.

But if we can recognise that it is our Father in heaven who gave us the power and ability to work and get money, if we can recognise Him as the Source of money, it will be much easier for us to give away.

How generous we are depends on how we perceive what we have received from Him.