After bringing him there, I left as I had to attend a CPD course. Though I would like to stay and monitor how he was doing, I couldn't. My wife lingered at a nearby shopping mall, lest Jeshua cries and looks for one of us.
In the afternoon, his form teacher called to provide us with an update on his progress. According to her, Jeshua did not cry at all. He has adapted well to the new environment.
Throughout these three days, he has never cried for us to be present. I am so proud of him. He has full confidence and security, knowing that his parents will be back to fetch him.
It suddenly dawned on me about the difference between an independent toddler and one who is dependent on his parents.
An independent toddler is trained by his parents. Usually, the parents will leave the toddler to cry when he was a baby if he wanted to be carried. It is a traditional Asian mindset where we are taught to let the baby cry until he breaks free from separation anxiety and the need to be carried in our arms to sleep. This trains a baby to be independent. When he enters childcare, he is able to manage when being "thrown" into a new environment.
For some, they think that it is pretty normal to let the toddler cry his heart out during the first couple of days in the childcare. The toddler is being
My wife and I decided to do it differently as we sensed the heart of the Father leading us to focus on providing Jeshua with love and security over the need for independence.
As I was reflecting, I realised that Jeshua is not an independent toddler. As a Christian father, I don't want him to be independent at this age. A toddler/child is not supposed to be independent at a young age. Sometimes, we want them to grow up faster than they are supposed to be. In my personal outlook, our heavenly Father does not think this way. He loves us until we mature (read Song of Solomon). He doesn't want us to be independent. He wants us to stay dependent on Him.
In the same way, Jeshua is dependent on us at this age. My role as an earthly father is to lead him to an encounter with the heavenly Father so that he learns to be dependent on Him. However, before he reaches that stage, I have to represent God the Father to him.
Why do I say that Jeshua is not as independent as those toddlers who are trained by their parents to be independent? Whenever Jeshua is at home, he will cling tightly to my wife or me (if my wife is not at home). By the way, he is still latching before he sleeps.
Yet he is able to adapt to a new environment without experiencing any separation anxiety. He understands that his parents will always be there for him. He knows in his heart that whenever his parents leave, they will be back to fetch him. That in itself, is a revelation of security and confidence built in him as we responded to his cry as soon as possible since he was a baby.
Some may think that this will "spoil" the child. But I am convinced that a child needs to be lavished and spoilt with love until security is formed in him.
There are two ways to reach the same objective.
We can do it with love.
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