Tantrum & Tantrum

Jeshua's personality is different from an average toddler's personality. He has shown himself to be very shrewd, at the same time, strong-headed. It is interesting that God gives us a child with unique personality so that we cannot copy parenting skills from others. Neither can we simply follow a parenting book or parenting tips.

I believe that God gives everyone a unique child so that we have to depend on Him and grow in intimacy out of the time of seeking Him for parenting our own child.

Jeshua has been throwing a lot of tantrums in these few days. Last night, he refused to sleep and kept crying loudly to demand that we bring him out into the living room to play. I went out to take the disciplining rod and told him, "It's time to sleep or you will get disciplined." In fact, I raised my voice at him. Yes, he obeyed and went to sleep.

Nevertheless, I felt in my spirit that this isn't the right approach to father him. If I had to raise my voice at him so that he would obey, if I had to use the rod so that he would obey, then he is not obeying because he trusts me, he is obeying out of fear --- fear of punishment.

This morning, I was sitting in my study room spending time with God and reflecting about it. God the Father won't raise His voice or punish us (create fear) when we are throwing tantrum. He simply allows us to throw tantrum.

I asked Him how we should then parent Jeshua and I heard Him say the following:

"Jeshua is frustrated and throwing tantrum because he is not getting what he wants. It is a growth process where he is learning to find his identity. You can do these:

1) Call out his identity instead of focusing on his bad behaviour

2) Don't create the fear of punishment

3) The disciplining rod is used for correction - to correct him from what is wrong so that he will do what is right. It is not to be used for his tantrum

4) Use the rod when he is in danger

- such as playing with the pocket socket, wanting to cross the road by himself without any assistance, etc.

5) When he throws tantrum, don't react to it. Let him throw his tantrum until he cools down. When he has cooled down, talk to him (reasons) and hug him to show that you still love him.

Teach me, O Lord, that I may know how to train him in righteousness.