Fathered Fathers Father

I don't know much about fathering. It's a role in which you don't get to be prepared to do. You are thrown into it when your child is born. No internship. No OJT. It's one where all you have learnt in life experiences are immediately set in motion. If you don't deliberately think about how you father your child, you will automatically father according to the patterns of the experiences that had defined your life.

I had to be fathered many times by Father God in order to see what He sees and do what He does. I'm not there yet, but I'm still growing and desire to grow in fathering my own child.

Recently, my son struggled with submission. My wife and I felt the change when he moved on to the nursery level where he struggled with the new teacher in charge, for she is more authoritative than his previous teacher. He tried to respond the same way with us at home. We had to talk to him many times to affirm who he is and correct what he said/did. Subconsciously at the back of my mind, I was expecting him to have immediate submission. I was thinking, "He's only 3. If he doesn't learn now, it will be difficult when he grows up."

Last morning, I saw a vision of J sitting on a giraffe and he's trying to reach its head. Then Father God spoke to me, "You are setting an expectation on him which he is unable to reach at this age. Imagine Me expecting you to reach My standard right now or I get unhappy."

God rejoices in me because He sees the value of His beloved Son in me. When I don't meet His standard, He doesn't get into disappointment. He gets ready new appointment for me to succeed. In Christ, I cannot fail. In Christ, I am empowered to learn to see what I have become because of the Cross. God is a happy Father towards me. He is never angry or mad at me. He is mad about me. Therefore, He doesn't focus on what I have missed. He focuses on what I have become in the image of His Son. He celebrates every milestone. He is Love. And love is patient.

If I am called to represent Him, I am called to respond like Him towards my son.

It's a beautiful thing to be fathered by the Father. Because fathered fathers father. #fathering101

Father & Son Spidey Outreach

J ministered to a man with knee injury and he was completely healed. Jesus!

Beautiful Picture

J sat on the bench by himself while we waited for the train at MRT platform. As a couple sat beside him, he immediately spoke to them, "Hey!"

When they responded to him, he continued, "I have a toy. My Papa bought the toy for me." Pointing to me, he exclaimed, "This is my Papa."

This paints a beautiful picture of the Gospel. Oh... I love how easy my son made evangelism to be. 

"I have a gift. This is a gift from my Father. He so loved me that He gave me the gift. Come, let me show you who my Father is." 

Love it!

Heavenly Fathering Transforms Earthly Fathering

Heavenly Fathering Transforms Earthly Fathering

More than two and a half years ago, I used a spatula to discipline my son (Well, my parents used to cane me). There was no peace on the inside of me. As I sought the Lord, He spoke stuff to me that completely changed the course of fathering my son.

He said to me, "How you see Me fathering you should be how you father your son."

From that moment onwards, I stopped every form of punishment. I changed the way I do fathering, aligning my words and actions (as much as possible) to what the heavenly Father would say and do to me. I'm still not perfect. It's a journey of growth.

One year ago, I asked Him, "Why do some believers not father their children according to Your pattern?" I felt Him saying, "Because they did not follow through with the kingdom principles in parenting. Instead, they apply what their parents did."

A common example can be found in hearing some Christian parents say, "Good boy" when the child does something good, or when the child obeys. Does that mean that when the child doesn't obey, he is not a good boy? That affects the identity of the child. He'll be confused.

If we don't intentionally and purposefully father our children according to how we see God fathering us, we will naturally and surely father our children according to how our earthly parents fathered us. This is not easy, because we are so accustomed to our personal experiences and upbringing that we would just keep repeating the habits of parenting without questioning about it. Our parents didn't know it better. My parents were not Christians. Now that we know, we need to grow.

One of the things that God spoke to me is very clear: Identity.

I must build my son's identity. That's the priority.

God sees me the way He sees Christ. I am a brand new creation. The old has gone and the new has come. I am not defined by my behaviours, actions and performance. I am defined by His love for me.

Therefore, this must translate into my relationship with my son. I see my son in his true identity. He is defined by the Father's love. My son's behaviours, actions and performance do not define who he is. He is my precious gem. He knows it so well that he often says to me, "J is Papa and Mama's precious."

As I'm learning to father him in his identity, I have learnt new things by seeking the perfect Father in heaven. One of the recent things He revealed to me is this - "Use 'that' for J's positive/negative behaviours and actions. And use 'you' for affirming his identity."

It goes like this:

"J, YOU are a cooperative boy." (Identity). But THAT was not very cooperative. (Behaviour)

"J, YOU are such a gentle and polite boy." But THAT was rude.

"J, YOU are an intelligent boy. THAT was brilliant."

It's calling out his true identity, while pointing out the positive/negative behaviour. Sometimes, I would say, "That was rude. It is not like you, J. Because You are a polite boy. So can you be polite and ask properly?"

I realised that this is much tougher. One stroke of cane can easily do the job. But well, just take a look at our Father in heaven. He could have smacked us. But He chose not. He simply keeps repeating Himself through the Holy Spirit when we do something that contradicts our true identity. He is long-suffering. And if we are called to represent Him, it gives us no excuse to do otherwise.

It is a challenging journey. But I'm beginning to see fruit... J has learnt to apologise by himself after self-realisation. #breakthrough #fathering101

Self-Realisation

J threw tantrum because he wanted me to play with him instead of eating his dinner. We let him express his emotions, knowing that he was upset. He went into his room, finished with his tantrum and came out to cuddle me, saying, "Sorry Papa. I shouldn't do that."

Self-realization at the age of 3 is amazing to us. #fathering101

Follow Me

Lately I found myself saying this to J for a couple of times.

"J, don't follow your friends' behaviours. Follow Papa."

It's easy to say to our children, "Don't follow your peers." But we need to give them a model to follow. Paul said, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ." He was giving others a model to follow. If our child doesn't have a model, he will look outside to follow others. Many people are afraid of telling their children, "Follow me" because it protects them from the responsibility of growing to be the right model.

Before our child can follow the Father, he needs an earthly model to follow. I'm not perfect. But by telling my son, "Follow Papa", I'm giving him a legitimate access to draw from my strengths and learn from my weaknesses. At the same time, it puts responsibility on me to keep abiding in the perfect Father and grow unto perfection. #fathering101

Household Chores

So my son has learnt to unpack his bag when he is home. He'll put his school clothes, blanket, towel and bed sheet in the laundry bag, and brings the laundry bag to the washing machine. Then he unpacks his milk bottle and milk container, and puts them at the basin. After all, nothing is free on earth. #loveit #fathering101

Oh yeah, he helps to keep the dry clothes and hangs the washed ones.

Rain

In the morning, J suddenly pointed to the bright sky (and sunny weather) and said, "Look. It's dark. It's going to rain."

And true enough, it rained heavily in Punggol just now. According to J's prophetic word, it came to pass.

Exploding Praise

J is 3 years plus. Yet he still likes me to praise him when he finishes his milk.

He just showed me again - the empty milk bottle. And I did the usual - praised him. The typical Asians say that we shouldn't praise our child too much, else his head may become too big. But I think we should praise our child so much that his head explodes. Because when the child gets so much praises at home, the praises of men outside of home cannot destroy him. Even the lack of praises outside of home cannot discourage him.

Unshamed of The Gospel

J sang "Jesus loves me, this I know..." very loudly at the bus stop where people were waiting for their buses. At first, I thought of asking him to sing softly so as not to interrupt others. On second thought, I realised he was declaring the Gospel haha. So I let him continue.

He then boarded the bus and sang "Give Thanks" loudly. Alright, he's on a different level. #singingevangelism

Sweet Moments...

J: Papa, I want to hug you.

Papa: Why?

J: Because I love you.

Papa: 😍😍😍😍😍

Who Takes The Wheel?

J wanted to ride this. So I sat behind him to assist him when he steered in the wrong direction or when he was going to bump against people.

Unlike what many think, God is not in control. We are. The reason we are is because God let us be in control. He is not steering the wheel while we sit beside Him following. "Jesus Takes The Wheel" may sound beautiful but He doesn't. He gives us the privilege to steer the wheel of our lives because He trusts us. He has given us His heart and mind. When we are heading in the right direction, He continues to affirm us. When we are heading in the wrong direction, He whispers to our ears to re-direct our path. Occasionally, He may intervene by giving a hand to the wheel we are steering when we are in danger. That is the empowering love of our Father. He trusts you and me :) #fathering101

Raising A Demon Slayer

While we were in the bus, J and I saw a man crossing a road. He was sitting on the wheelchair. J said, "Papa, why we didn't go and pray for the uncle?"

At one of the bus stops, the rear door of the bus couldn't close. The driver probably tried to close it for 8-9 times without any success. I said, "J, let's pray. In Jesus' name, door be closed now." The moment we said "Amen", the door was shut completely and the bus was able to move. The two of us rejoiced in excitement, thanking Jesus. Others in the bus may think we are crazy but it matters that my son knows who Jesus is. #raisingademonslayer #fathering101

Loving My Son Based On Who I Am

Yesterday, I wasn't walking as patiently as I should towards J when he demanded a couple of things immediately according to his timing. On my end, I was preparing some work.

This morning, as I was with the Father in communion, He showed me a vision of J when he was learning to walk.

I asked, "What do You mean?"

God: Do you realised that you were more loving and patient towards J when he was younger?

Me: Nodded.

God: Do you realised that you were more loving and patient towards J because he couldn't demand as much when he was younger?

Me: Nodded.

God: So do you love J based on who he is or based on who you are?

Me: I know what You mean. It should be based on who I am, not who J is.

The Father loves us because He is first and foremost, LOVE. This is a fresh revelation for me on fathering. I am to love J based on who I am - my identity in Christ. As Christ is, so am I in this world. As Christ is love, so am I in this world.

Each time when I fail to function in my identity, I will love J based on who he is, instead of who I am. And when it is based on who J is, it will lead me to focus on what he does - resulting in a love that is not from God.

When I don't walk according to my identity in fathering, I will walk according to my response. But when I walk according to my identity, my son's response won't affect my response. #fathering101

P.S: We like to blame others when we respond negatively because of people's response. The truth is... if we walk in our identity, no one can affect our response.

F&S Day

J & I have a F&S day bi-weekly. Yesterday, he showed me how simple faith is. He wanted to visit a toy shop, but I have told him before we left home that we wouldn't be buying any toy on that day.

Below was the conversation.

J: Papa, I have watched this show before (pointing to Tayo bus).

Papa: Yes.

J: So I need to have this. Jesus will buy this for me.

Then he went around pointing to many toys and said, "Jesus will buy this... And this.... And this... And this... for me."

Papa: There are so many. I can't remember. You need to ask Jesus to remember for you.

And he started touching every single toy he wanted and each time when he touched, he said, "In Jesus' name, Jesus buys this for me! Amen!"

Perhaps, faith is really that simple.

Affirmation Is A Decision

Affirmation is a decision.

Growing up in a typical Asian family, I hardly received any affirmation from my father. He loved me but he was just not trained by his parents to affirm with words. It required a deliberate decision for me to parent my child in a very different way, after knowing how the Father in heaven parents me.

A typical Asian parent will especially put down a child in front of others, thinking that it would prevent the child from becoming proud. If someone praises the child, "You have such an obedient boy," the parent will say, "No. He is very naughty." Sounds familiar? This is pretty disastrous. My wife and I totally eliminated the vocab 'naughty' and the phrase 'you are not a good boy' from our family dictionary.

Today, after J finished his milk, he came to me proudly, "Papa, see! I have finished!" Well, he has been doing that for as long as he started to drink milk. Despite the fact that he should know that he should finish it, I intentionally affirmed him over and over again. Some Asian parents think that we can't affirm too much. But I personally think that we can't go wrong with overflowing supply of affirmation. Because that's what the perfect Father does to me daily.

We have to make it an intentional decision to affirm our child for both who he is and what he has done, even if it seems a small task. Because to the child, it may be a big task on hand - like finishing his milk haha. If he is looking/waiting for affirmation, I'll give it without holding back.

When we don't give our child affirmation when he is looking for it, he will start looking for it in the world. Most of the time, that will be disastrous.

We can't expect teachers in school to give them much affirmation. Due to a big class of children on hand, they focus more on class management and behaviours. We, including me, have to make affirmation intentional. Because it is a decision.

Life-long Lesson

It takes one session to learn healing, but it probably takes one lifetime to learn parenting. 

I posted recently about the need to share with one another on parenting so that we can learn more from one another on the way our Father in heaven does parenting. We have shared so much on healing and other stuff, but like what I said, it doesn't make sense that we don't talk much about parenting. While every child is different, I believe that there are some consistent principles we can learn from one another. So here I go...

Recently, J has been responding in a way that doesn't come from his identity. He would jump and shout when he didn't get what he wanted. He would even say, "Don't talk to me".

My wife and I are pretty concerned, so we asked him, "Who did that in school?", "Who taught you to say that?" The reason we asked is because some of these are not what we modeled at home.

He replied and named a classmate whom he had favour on. Apparently, he is picking up and following what she does in school. This is one reason why homeschooling can build a stronger foundation in a child before he faces the real world. Of course, homeschooling is not so much about schooling a child at home. It is more about extended parenting where the child models after the parents because of constant exposure and connection. We teach what we know, but we reproduce who we are. We can model without parenting, but we can't parent without modeling.

Out of immediate response, I said, "J, do not say that. That is rude", "J, I have said many times. Do not shout." But I realised that the more I told him not to respond in that unkind manner, the more he would do it.

Although he has made some progress, it happened again and again after a short period of time - the next day or even within the same day.

As I was reflecting on this, the Holy Spirit highlighted to me the verses in Romans 7:8-9.

'Apart from the law sin is dead. I was alive once without the law, but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died.'

The more I teach J "do not do/say this" or "do this", the more he wants to rebel. It is arousing the flesh to respond to the 'law'. But apart from the law, sin is dead. In other words, the more I tell him what he should be doing, the more I give power to his act of rebellion.

Some would suggest caning or punishment, which I don't subscribe to, because: 

1) In my view of God, He doesn't resort to that.

2) It produces outward obedience with no true form of transformation.

What we are looking for is an inward transformation, leading to an outward behaviour.

I began to switch to using questions to draw out his identity - "J, you are a patient and cooperative boy. Would you be patient?", "J, what do you think about shouting? Do you think it's okay to shout at Papa?"

He would take a while to cool down, which he has the rights to do so and express his feeling. Then he would say, "No." And eventually, he would apologise.

It still takes much reminders (like what God does towards us) and patience on our end to respond to him. I am learning. 

I believe that if we parent our child's identity, it will produce the outward behaviour we hope to see. Most of the times, we just want to quickly conform him to that behaviour without wanting to go through the process of developing his identity. Conforming may seem fast and effective, but it is disastrous when our child reaches the teenage years.

Showing Concern In His Way

One common behavior we picked up from our traditional parenting style is to shout/scold our child when he messes up or when he injures himself due to negligence. The scolding/shouting is a result of the depth of concern we have for him. Yet our child does not feel our concern when we shout/scold him, which follows the incident. By doing that consistently and regularly, we make him feel disapproved, rejected and condemned. This misrepresents who God is, as he eventually thinks that God is angry/upset whenever we mess up or hurt ourselves by negligence. Nothing is further from the truth.

This traditional Asian parenting has to be replaced and re-presented so that we can represent the Father to our child. When he messes up or injures himself due to negligence, the quickest response we need to have is to reveal our concern directly by the expression of love. A hug or gentle word of encouragement conveys a very powerful message - "I am with you. I love you regardless of what you just did. You are my precious child." Doing that consistently and regularly will reinforce and strengthen our child's identity.

If we don't consider how our Father in heaven would respond to us and deliberately follow His example, it is completely natural for us to parent our child according to the traditional way our parents brought us up.

I'm far from perfect. But each time when I look to the Father, I know I have to 'kill' the traditional parenting ways.

The Key To Obedience

Recently, J hasn't been very obedient. Or rather, he is not responding as quickly as before to what my wife and I say. We have to say a few times before he would respond accordingly.

This morning, as I was reading the Word, a verse jumped out at me. When the Holy Spirit 'zooms' in to a verse, God is definitely speaking.

I have read this passage so many times, but I never saw this.

"And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife... disobedient to parents," - Romans 1:28-30

The Holy Spirit spoke to me, "The key to training your son to be obedient is not telling him to be obedient. Look at the passage again."

And I saw it.

"...retain God in their knowledge."

The Holy Spirit spoke again, "The key to training your son to be obedient is simply by connecting him to the Father."

The more I train J to be connected to the Father, the more he will grow in obedience effortlessly. It is by fathering him to know God in his heart where he develops his identity as a son of God will he walk out his true identity - obedience. When he walks in the Spirit, he will not satisfy the desires of the flesh.

My focus should not be getting him to be obedient - that's setting my mind on things below. My focus should be on connecting him to the Father - setting my mind on things above.

What an amazing fathering truth! Thank You Jesus!

Freedom To Express Faith

Sonny just K.O. after a long play. We had this session where he painted his own fish keychain. While he was doing it, there were thoughts that came up in my mind. It is very natural and easy to comment the followings:

"should the fish be in this colour?"

"why isn't it grey-ish?"

"don't mix the colours..."

"hey, wait. You may want to do this first..."

The list goes on.

But I decided to simply sit beside him to observe before asking, "Do you like the present colours you use to paint the fish?" He replied, "Yes!" I said, "That's beautiful and creative."

It is often easy to give directions to what he should be doing. It is harder to keep the mouth shut. Giving constant directions, in itself, limits the creativity and the revelation he can explore through faith. Allowing him to try and explore according to his heart gives room for faith to be expressed, without being judged. Abba Father doesn't limit our possibilities. He encourages us to step into our pre-conceived impossibilities. A child's creativity is something to be celebrated. He has the rights to be him.

Free play empowers us to walk in faith and take risk boldly.

Take Him Seriously

J: Papa, there! Jesus!

Papa: Where?

Pointing to a distance away in the crowd, "There! Jesus is there!"

Now I have learnt that when he suddenly says weird stuff, I must take him seriously.

Papa: What is Jesus doing?

J: He is walking.

It's comforting to know that the manifest presence of Christ is among the people in the shopping mall.

Love Without Expectation

Last night, I did not respond patiently towards J during dinner. I kind of had an expectation on his eating habit. This is something that I have subconsciously acted according to my upbringing. My dad used to be very strict with me when it comes to eating habit and table manners. Having said that, he is a loving dad, though he doesn't know how to express it.

If we are not conscious, we will naturally father according to how we are being fathered. Yet our fathering model should always come from our Perfect Father.

Because of my response towards J last night, he was upset. Before he slept, he told Mama, "I am angry with Papa."

This morning, as I was spending time with my Perfect Papa in heaven, He spoke to me clearly - "When J was younger, you loved on him without any expectation. Now that he is older, you have begun to set an expectation on how he should be like, especially during meal times. Yes, you can talk with him about it. But you do not place an expectation on him. Your role is to simply love without expectation."

It is ironic that we always love our child without expectation when he is a baby. But we begin to have expectations (subconsciously) when he grows up. True love should expect nothing. Yet true love will eventually produce the very thing we hope to see.

Much to learn and much to grow to be like the Perfect Papa so that I can represent Him accurately to my son.

P.S: Today is Father and Son's Day. We shall go out and love on each other!

The Call of A Seer

While waiting for bus, J said, "See it is raining." He pointed to the sky. I looked up and saw little clouds (like a normal sunny weather) and bright sky. Man, he was speaking in a weird way again. I didn't have a second thought about what he said.

After sending him to school, I walked slowly to the nearest bus stop. There was no sign of rain or gloomy sky. All of a sudden, it started to pour like cats and dogs.

As I am writing now, I am totally drenched.

Serve me right for not taking what my son said seriously. 

Reflecting on various other incidents, I must take all the weird stuff he says seriously from now on. The call of God in his life as a seer is clear.

#prophetic #heseesmanythings #lordhelpme

Sharing Testimonies

After sharing healing testimony with my son, this is what he would do if his friends were to be in pain.

Recounting Testimonies

As my son sat on the bed, I recounted today's testimonies to him. To my amazement, he listened attentively to the five healing testimonies.

Passing on to the next generation...

Rest Or Strive

Haven't been updating the entries for a while but it had been eventful with my precious son. More Father and Son's Days!

Today is our 6th wedding Anniversary. It's also the first time we brought Jeshua to celebrate with us.

When we were heading home from Gardens By The Bay, Jeshua insisted on pushing his own pram with me. As it was pretty difficult to manoeuver the heavy pram, I had to hold onto it and assist him. As the pram kept moving from side to side, it became rather tiring for me, especially when the place was crowded with people.

Suddenly, I was reminded of our relationship with God the Father. Often, He wants us to rest instead of striving and struggling. If we simply let Him do the work, it will be effortless. We will then rest and enjoy the ride with Him. But if we try to strive and do it by our own effort, we will find it tiring and eventually give up.

When we work, God let us do until we learn to rest and trust in Him. But when we rest, He works.

I decided to stop assisting Jeshua and let him struggle through by his own. He said, "Papa, later the pram hits the wall on the side." I replied, "Don't worry. I will ensure that it doesn't happen."

So whenever the pram was almost reaching the wall, I would simply pull it back. I would then let Jeshua push it by himself.

Finally, it came to a point where he decided that the struggle was enough. Yes. He gave up striving. It was then that I simply took over and pushed the pram.

I told him, "Jeshua, when you trust Papa to do it for you, you can rest fully."

Jeshua's Prophetic Gift

Just got to know from my wife.

She planned to bring J (3 yrs old) to water playground this morning. She did not say a word about it to him. When J woke up this morning, he asked, "Mama, you are bringing me to water playground?"

Is that prophetic or something?

Just 5 minutes ago, he pointed to my wife's left knee, "Mama, any pain here?" My wife nodded, "It's abit stiff." J laid hand and prayed. He then said confidently, "No more pain now."

Now this is like word of knowledge + faith. Jesus!

Healing

Last night, J was coughing badly. He even vomitted out his milk due to excessive phlegm.

We laid hand and ministered healing to him. This morning, he was healed! Praise Jesus!

There is a breakthrough in seeing my own son healed in Jesus' name!

On two other occasions, he was down with high fever on the night before. After ministering healing, he woke up the next day completely healed without medication! Jesus is so good!

Without Reasoning

Was lifting my son high on top of me while I lay on the bed. Then he said, "Papa, it's your turn. Come, sit on top of me." He expected to do the same - lifting me high on top of him. It didn't dawn on him that it was impossible. He didn't think nor reason about it. As long as his father did it, he simply wanted to do it. What amazing faith that is!

"The Son can do nothing on His own, except what He sees the Father doing."

Jesus lived a life without human reasonings. The moment He does something with human reasoning, He would have done something on His own. He saw what the Father did and simply acted on what was possible.

Precious Words

Love it when my son worships with me in the room. While worshiping, he came beside me and said, "Papa, I love Jesus."

Precious words.

Amazed By His Growth

Amazed by his growth.

While sitting on the bus with J, he said, "Papa, I want BIG car!" I replied, "You can tell Jesus about it."

He shouted in the bus, "Jesus, I want big car!"

I said, "Where is Jesus?" Then he began to do a role play all by himself. I simply sat there listening and observing him throughout the role play.

J: Jesus I want BIG car!

J: Oh Jesus is coming to the bus.

J: Jesus is sitting down now.

J: Hello Jesus!

J: Yes? (Role playing as Jesus)

J: I want BIG car!

J: Okay! (Role playing as Jesus)

J: I want a blue one and a red one for Papa.

J: Okay! (Role play)

My prayer is that Jesus has to be as real to him as the role play.

A Child CAN Comprehend

Some people told me that a toddler is unable to understand our explanations. Thus, we should use rod to correct them.

Apparently, research has shown that toddlers understand much more than what adults would imagine. They just can't articulate at their age.

My wife and I discovered that J understood many things that we told him when he was younger. Now that he is three, he begins to articulate those stuff to our amazement.

This morning, he insisted on having two small bottles of my breath spray, instead of one. After saying "No" for a couple of times, I decided to teach him contentment. At the back of my mind, I thought he wouldn't understand but it is helpful to reiterate principles until he finally gets it one day.

"J, focus on what you have. Not what you do not have. That's being contented. If you focus on what you do not have, that's being greedy. Can you focus on what you have?"

To my surprised, he replied, "Okay. I have one bottle and Papa has the other bottle."

Who says a child cannot comprehend?

Three Years Old's Syndrome

This is hilarious.

After trying hard to get Jeshua to pronounce a word correctly, I stopped and said, "In Jesus' name, I command the tongue, be loosed right now."

Jeshua replied, "In Jesus' name, tongue, don't drop on the floor."

3 years old's syndrome...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

F&S Day Part 5

We had Father & Son's day at Pororo Park. There are many different stations, including a train ride!

Me: Jeshua, you need to eat something before we go to the playground.

Jeshua: No, I want to go now.

Me: Jeshua, you have to eat something or you will get hungry.

He ate some sweet corn.

Jeshua: Papa, you see. I can walk so fast.

Me: Why?

Jeshua: Because I ate a lot of sweet corn.

Me: ... ...

Arrival at Pororo Park

He loved the train so much that he ended up being the only one sitting on the train after many rounds.

His signature move whenever he takes a photo.

He insisted on eating on his own.

Revelation for Jeshua

Going up a challenging playground (because of its height), J was a little fearful.

J: Papa, hold my hand.

Me: No. I'm just behind you. (I want him to overcome his fear)

J: No. Papa, hold my hand.

Me: No. You won't fall because I'm behind you. You have the spirit of love, power and sound mind. You have boldness.

Jeshua finally climbed to the highest part and went down the slide.

Second round, while climbing, he said, "Jesus is in my heart. So I can do it."

Wow! #revelationforhim

Being Held

Today, I held J's hand as we walked to his school. As we were walking, we were singing, "Jesus loves me, this I know." All of a sudden, he tripped and almost fell. But as I was holding his hand, I managed to keep his feet on the ground. In that split moment, I had an encounter with the Father as two verses came to my mind.

Psalm 73:23 - Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand.

Psalm 121:3 - He will not let your foot slip— He who watches over you will not slumber.

My heart was filled with His love. His tangible presence came upon me.

The Father is always with us. He is always holding our hand. This is why we will never fall nor stumble if we continue to let Him hold our hand.

But just as J doesn't always allow me to hold his hand, we are not always letting the Father hold us. He doesn't let go of His hand. We are the ones who refuse to let Him hold us. This is when we stumble and fall. When we don't turn to Him and set our face towards Him, we stop letting Him hold us.

The way to walk on solid ground without our feet stumbling is to turn to Him continually as our Refuge and Help. Divine protection is a promise on His end. Yet it is up to us to receive His promise. Let Him hold our hand continually.

P.S: This song from Hillsong came to my mind.

I'm so secure

You're here with me

You stay the same

Your love remains here in my heart

So close I believe

You're holding me now

In Your hands I belong

You'll never let me go

So close I believe 

You're holding me now

In Your hands I belong

You'll never let me go

By Hillsong - In Your Hands

F&S Day Part 4 - Sunday

Wifey had work today. Thus, I brought Jeshua to church before taking him for late lunch.

F&S Day Part 3

Today, we had our F&S Day at Jurong Bird Park.

This is the furthest I have ever traveled with Jeshua by public transport. It takes two hours to reach Jurong Bird Park from our home and vice versa. This is an achievement unlocked haha!

Arrived at Jurong Bird Park

 Watching the Pelicans

 Ready to ignite the engine

 Having fun with the swing

Enjoying the playground

Excited about the penguins

K.O.

Look forward to having more F&S Day with my precious boy!

Hilarious Episode 2

Another interesting episode:

J: Papa, I want to buy Bob the builder red truck.

Papa: Alright. You pray to Jesus. He always hears your prayer.

J: In Jesus' name, I want Bob the builder red truck. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Papa: Jesus will buy for you.

J: Papa, I don't want red truck now.

Papa: Huh? You just prayed to Jesus.

J: I want the yellow truck. I want Papa and Mama to buy the yellow one for J.

Papa: Why???

J: Becos Jesus will buy the red one.

Oh my God...

Hilarious Episode

This was what happened yesterday...

Part 1

J: Papa, I want to use the bath tub. (Referring to the portable baby bathtub)

Papa: That is for baby. Are you a baby now?

J: Yes. I'm a baby for now. (And he made baby sound)

Papa: -_-"

Part 2

J: Where is Jesus?

Papa: He is in you.

J: Wah! Jesus flies into my stomach.

Papa: -_-"

Part 3

He sat beside a 3-year old girl. While he was talking continually on the bus, he looked at the girl.

J: Papa, why is Mei Mei not talking?

Papa: -_-"

#thingshesay #hilarious

Customised Parenting

For the past few days, I was troubled by the fact that I couldn't manage Jeshua's disobedience and tantrum. For usual parenting, the rod will do the job. However, I am convinced that just as God the Father doesn't discipline us using physical pain, I am not supposed to misrepresent Him to my son when it comes to fathering.

Jeshua would cry loudly and disobey when he didn't get what he wanted. It is our responsibility as parents to say "No" at times, for the child's sake. If we only say "Yes" to all his wants, it will harm him in the long run. True love includes healthy boundaries.

Last morning, I was pondering over his behaviour and asking God how I should father him in this area.

God said, "Jeshua's love language is touch. When he is disobedient or throws tantrum, hug him and tell him that you love him. When he cools down, reason with him."

That was a powerful revelation! I recalled the incidents (very few) where I hugged him and loved him. He would respond and listen to what I said afterwards.

God knows our child more than us. He is Jeshua's Father.

Thank You Father!

Teaching Jesus Intentionally

Jeshua was happily looking at the fishes at the basement of Fullerton hotel. There were many orange fishes and a few white fishes. A thought came to my mind: I should use every opportunity to teach him about Jesus.

I said, "Jeshua, let's pray for the white fish to come in your direction. When you pray, it will come."

He closed his eyes and said, "In Jesus' name, white fish, come. Amen."

Immediately, the white fish swam towards his direction. He was elated. I exclaimed, "Oh Jeshua prayed for that! Jesus heard your prayer!" He replied excitedly, "Yah!"

He then said, "Let's pray again!" He prayed for many times. Each time when he prayed, the white fish would move towards his direction.

It's a beautiful moment of how the Father answered Jeshua's prayer. At the same time, I desire that Jeshua builds confidence in the Father who hears his prayers.

F&S Day

We had another Father & Son's Day yesterday. I have told my wife that I will have F&S Day with Jeshua twice in a month. Though each outing costs more than my daily budget, which doesn't seem wise as I just started out in my part-time work in real estate, I know that God will provide abundantly. That's my main purpose of coming out of church ministry in this season to father Jeshua and build his foundations.

My wife texted me in the morning before our F&S outing, "Today's weather forecast isn't good. But you can pray that there won't be any rain. I have placed an umbrella and two rain coats in the bag - one for Jeshua and one for you."

Before Jeshua and I went out, we prayed together. From 10plus am to 4plus pm, there was NO rain despite the weather forecast! It was simply cloudy and windy, which made the weather perfect without the heat of the sun. When we reached home, it started to rain. Praise God! He is such a good Father! He held the rain back so that Jeshua and I could enjoy F&S Day!

 Sitting on the Duck Tour!

Duck vehicle enters Singapore River

Next: Hippo bus

Sitting on the Hippo bus

This morning, I asked Jeshua, "Do you like to go out with Papa?

He responded, "I am happy to go out with Papa. I am happy I can go out with Papa."

This speaks for itself. It is worth everything I laid down for in this season.

P.S: I applied for Hippo+Duck Tour club membership for children between 3 and 12 years old. It costs $33 per year with unlimited Hippo and Duck rides. The child can bring along four guests at an extremely discounted rate, i.e. I paid $5 for Hippo bus ride instead of $37 for adult fare. This is so worth it! Thank God for such providence!

Affirmation?

Some time ago, God spoke to me about affirmation towards Jeshua.

He said, "Do not simply affirm what Jeshua does well. Affirm him when he has tried his best. Affirm him even when he is simply doing nothing to deserve affirmation."

I got it.

If I focus on affirming him ONLY when he does well, it will be damaging in the long run. It will ruin his self-esteem and identity in Christ. He will strive to perform well in order to earn affirmation.

God the Father affirms us even when we do NOTHING. He is pleased with us for WHO we are. In the same way, we should affirm our children for WHO they are, instead of simply affirming them on what they do well.

There is power in proper affirmation. It gives a child a strong foundation of self-esteem and right identity in Christ.

Train Him To Be Resilient

Today, God spoke to me, "Train Jeshua up to be adventurous and take up challenges. That will build his resilience."

Father & Son's Day

We had our F & S day today at Longkang Fishing.

Jeshua enjoyed it very much as we tried our best to catch as many fishes as possible. It was too difficult for him to catch any. Hence, I did the fishing instead. As much as he desired all the various colours of the fishes, I didn't manage to catch the white ones. They were simply too swift for me.

After the longkang session, I asked him, "Do you want to bring the fishes home or let them go?" He chose the former. I answered, "If you bring them home, they will die very quickly. But if you let them go, they will live." He insisted on the former.

We brought them home and they died within a day. I guess this is a good learning moment for him.

Lunch at Bugis Plus. We had Churro too and he loves it!

Each Breakthrough

For safety reason, I have always carried Jeshua when we board the bus. Today, I decided to let him board while holding his hand firmly.

When we sat, he was so exhilarated that he kept smiling and declaring, "I climb the bus on my own!"

Instead of correcting him and say, "No, Jeshua. Papa was the one who helped you", I said, "I'm so proud of you!"

This paints a picture of how the Father sees us. Each time when we experience a breakthrough in an area, we exclaim, "Come on, I did it! Awesome! I have taken the step of faith and seen result!" The Father looks at us and says, "I'm so proud of you!" But the reality is that God the Father is the One who helps and empowers us to experience the breakthrough. Faith is never from us. Faith is from God, who imparts to us by His grace as we receive and experience His love.

Each time we partner with Him to step out in faith, He rejoices over what we do.

The Kingdom of God

My sister-in-law graciously let us use her domestic helper for two weeks.

Jeshua didn't treat her as a stranger or a helper. On the third day, he told her, "I love you, Auntie Lynn."

As I observed how he viewed her and treated her, I realised something powerful about little children.

A little child treats everyone with equal dignity, regardless of the title and position. No wonder the kingdom of God belongs to the little children.

Psalm 91

I have been reading the Scriptures to Jeshua every night before he sleeps. It started when he was in my wife's womb. John 6:63 says that "the word that I have spoken are spirit and life."

I believe that the Word of God, when spoken, are spirit and life. Though a foetus may not understand the Word of God intellectually, it can receive in spirit. Life begins in the womb, not when the baby comes out.

As Jeshua grows older, he doesn't seem to be able to stay focused as I read the Scriptures. He looks around, jumps around, talks, etc. Nevertheless, I continue to read the Scriptures, believing that life is released each time when I speak over him.

I have read Psalm 91 to him a couple of times. One day, as I read it to him before he slept, I was surprised! He could actually follow me through! I must say that I'm pretty impressed.

Let's not underestimate the capability of our child.

P.S: He was actually pronouncing "pinions". He is still learning to pronounce more words accurately.  

Complete Forgiveness

"The reason why people in church hurt you is because they don't know who they were. The reason why you get hurt by them is because you don't know who you were." - Todd White

"...forgiving one another, ...even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do." - Col 3:13

Some say that forgiveness is not about feeling. It is a choice. In actual fact, we have NO choice. The Bible says, "you MUST do."

When Christ died on the Cross, He forgave all of us once and for all. Now we are supposed to live like Him.

As a father, I will always forgive my son no matter what he says or does. Between us, the word "forgiveness" is a past tense. I have forgiven him even before he apologises to me.

Yet it is interesting how we see forgiveness when we relate to other relationships apart from parent-child relationship. We need to hear "Sorry" before we can forgive.

God in Christ forgave us while we were still sinners. If we can see this, we will walk in complete forgiveness towards any human relationship WITHOUT the need for the one who hurt us to apologise to us.

I love what Todd White often says, "I refuse to let people's sin against me to be sin IN me by taking offense."

His Gifts

Jeshua has a few gifts that God has given him.

1) Gift of discernment through smell

- Yet to be tested

2) Joy Releaser

- He releases joy into any atmosphere that he walks in

3) Gift of emotional healing

- He is drawn to anyone who is broken-hearted and who requires emotional healing. He will cling to the person closely

4) Gift of prophetic word

- Not long ago, we discovered this when a friend came to our place. Jeshua suddenly said, "Uncle, you want to wipe the aircon?" He said it many times at different points in time. Initially, we were all puzzled. But on the following day, this friend texted me.

Recently, we wanted to bring Jeshua to a huge indoor playground at Downtown East. In the morning, I told him, "Jeshua, we are going to BIG playground today." Usually, he would respond with exhilaration. Instead, he replied, "No. Small playground." He repeated a few times. Man, I was really puzzled. This was the first time he said 'small playground.'

When we arrived at Downtown East, we found out that the huge indoor playground was undergoing renovation, but there was a temporarily playground set up for this duration. Guess what?! It was an extremely small playing space - the size of a retail shop. 

I began to understand that when Jeshua starts saying something baffling, it could be a prophetic word. This is amazing! Jeshua is blessed by the FATHER!

Our Father Is ALWAYS For Us

Then it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go, that God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near; for God said, “Lest perhaps the people change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt.” So God led the people around by way of the wilderness of the Red Sea. - Exodus 13:17-18

Every promise of God in our lives will be challenged by the enemy. Affliction arises BECAUSE of the Word (Mark 4:17). 

Opposition either pushes us back into our past OR propels us forward into our destiny. There is no status quo. When opposition comes, we either move backward or go forward. For the Israelites, God used the attack of the enemy (Pharaoh and his army) to propel them forward into their destiny (crossing the Red Sea).

Yet God knew that the Israelites were not ready to enter the Promised Land. To enter the Promised Land, there would be opposition that they had to face. God, in His sovereignty, led Israel by the longer route so that they could encounter His love and power deeper (through the miracles), resulting in the growth of their faith. In other words, God was preparing them FOR victory. God desired that when they enter the Promised Land and face opposition, the opposition will always PROPEL them FORWARD to their destiny.

When I bring my son to huge indoor playground, there are many different stations in which he can play. Each station has its own challenge. For some stations, he is still too young to play. Sometimes, if he insists, I will assist him through the challenge. At other times, I will tell him not to go for it. Because I want him to successfully conquer the challenge when he is ready to handle it. I'm preparing him for victory so that he will learn to propel forward when he faces a challenge in future. This is similar to what God does for us.

What a loving God we have! We can be fully assured that whenever opposition comes BECAUSE of the promise of God, God has ALREADY prepared us FOR victory. We stand on victory ground. We are born again in Christ from the victorious position. As we wait for the promise of God to manifest, God is strengthening our faith. He has set us up for deeper encounters of His love and power. Like someone said, "The enemy can throw lemons at us, but God turns them into lemon juice for us to enjoy!"

May 2016 be a year where we propel forward to our destiny with absolute confidence in the love of our Father! He is always FOR us!

You Are For Me
By Kari Jobe