Allowing Creativity

Today, Jeshua drew on the wall with his colour pencils.

Obviously, this has "destroyed" the white, clean wall and made it rather messy.

However, my wife and I decided to let him draw on the wall in his room. This is important because we want to create a safe environment for him to explore his gifting and abilities. I believe that he is a very creative boy as I have seen him using unconventional ways in approaching his toys and other stuff.

It's easy for us to focus on the mess and miss out the potential in a person. God the Father always sees our potential in the midst of our mess. Jesus saw the ability and boldness in Peter even when Peter was still uneducated and impulsive. Peter turned out to become the apostle who preached boldly and powerfully on the day of Pentecost, with 3000 souls receiving salvation in one sermon. Jesus saw the unrelenting spirit in Paul when he was still ignorant and killing Christians. Paul turned out to be the apostle who had planted more churches than anyone in this world.

I want to be a father who focuses on the potential of Jeshua. I want to call out his identity and destiny. I want him to know that material things don't matter to us (parents) as much as he does. I want to create a safe environment for him to take steps of faith in exploring who he is and what God has gifted him with. More Lord!

Presence - Dependence On Me

Was at the youth camp in Sembawang Camp Challenge when I received a call from my wife that Jeshua has injured his toe as the door closed on him. She has brought him to the family doctor but he advised that we should bring him to KK hospital for X-ray as it looked serious.

As I was taking a cab there, I was thinking about what different Christian ministers have shared concerning family emergency. A good handful of them believe that they should not stop ministering even if the family is going through emergency. The reasons they gave are as follow:

1) I have to trust God to take care of my family.
2) I want my family to trust God and depend on Him so that they know how to fight when attacks come.
3) I don't want the devil to use this over and over again as his platform to stop me from ministering to many other lives. If he knows that a family emergency can stop me, he will keep attacking.

Yet as I was pondering over it, I felt God speaking to me.

The Father's presence is the most important thing to me. It gives me comfort, confidence and assurance. If God the Father's presence is vital to me, my presence is vital to Jeshua. However, I can't be with him forever. It will come a point when God the Father has to be Jeshua's Father.

What do I mean by that?

Jeshua has to learn to depend on God the Father when he grows up. Even if an emergency happens, he has to learn to trust God himself. God is the One who can provide for all he needs. God is the One who is his ever-present help.

But before that happens, I represent God the Father to him, because he is still too young to understand the need to depend on God. Now he has to depend on me as the father. In other words, if emergency happens, I have to be present with him. My presence is important... at least until he learns how to be dependent on God.

When he comes into a relationship with God the Father, when he learns to be dependent on Him, it will be the time when I can be absent (if I'm ministering to other lives).

Thank You Jesus for this revelation.

Polliwogs Playground

Jeshua was playing at the bouncing castle. Suddenly, there were many other older kids who came up to play. They were jumping violently.

My heart was beating faster as I was concerned that they might accidentally land on him, who seemed to be the youngest there.

This was the only play station that I didn't get involved with him because I was afraid that the castle would burst if an adult goes up. There seemed to be an unspoken rule - no adult for this station.

As I watched over him, my heart was praying for his safety.

I am reminded that God the Father is especially concerned when we tread on dangerous grounds. He would be watching over our every single move to see if we are safe.

However, there is a rule that He set - He wouldn't interfere with our choices. If we choose to tread on dangerous grounds, we have to answer the consequence. Jeshua was treading on dangerous ground while I was constantly keeping my eyes on him.

The important thing is this... we have to watch out for the voice of God in the midst of danger in order to be kept safe. As I saw more and more kids coming up, I called out to Jeshua and he came towards me. It was then that I could bring him out of the bouncing castle.

Whose Will?

Son cried for 30 min today simply because he wanted to latch on wifey. It wasn't because he needed it (he wasn't hungry or sleepy). He wanted it out of habit.

As such, he threw tantrum when he couldn't get what he wanted. He's such a persistent boy. Man, he's going to be such an overcomer in life on earth. I believe he's gonna be a great and powerful communicator too.

Despite his loud and desperate cry (it was really bad!), we refused to give in. We were teaching him that if it's not our will (right and good one), he won't get it no matter how hard he tries or cries.

Similarly, if it's not God's will, no matter how much we try, God won't answer. We can pray long hours; fast for many days; cry desperately for God to do our will and He will still not give in, because He desires to give us what is best and according to His will.

There is no way we can bend God's hand to do our will.

On the other hand, if it's God's will, then we need not cry for it. It's not based on our efforts and works. If it's His will, a simple trust will bring down His will from heaven to earth. That's why we don't need to cry desperately for healing to take place. It's His will. We simply believe it.

Angry?

Yesterday, Jeshua was throwing tantrum again. It was bad. He didn't want to bath.

I tried to bath him though. When he came out of the shower room, he expressed his unhappiness with me. He was angry. I mean... he's just 23 months toddler!

Deep in my heart, I was sad. I realised how much more God the Father feels when His children are angry or upset with Him. They have misinterpreted His heart of love.

God the Father is not mad at us. He is mad about us.

How Fast/Far?

Today, we brought Jeshua out to buy dinner nearby. Wifey held his left hand while I held his right. Instead of walking forward consistently, my little boy walked a few steps, stopped and looked at the ground cheekily. These happened a couple of times. As such, I couldn't walk at the speed that I would like him to walk. I, too, couldn't move forward as I had to slow down to match his pace (or pauses).

I realised at that moment that God the Father would have desired that we move together with Him at the pace which His kingdom would keep advancing AND that we would reach our destiny according to His plan. He couldn't take us as fast/far as He would like to if we keep pausing to do what we want. He would match our pace, yet hoping that we would move with His.

How fast/far we want to move in the kingdom and into our destiny depends on our willingness to move in step with Him and not allow ourselves to be distracted.

Tantrum & Tantrum

Jeshua's personality is different from an average toddler's personality. He has shown himself to be very shrewd, at the same time, strong-headed. It is interesting that God gives us a child with unique personality so that we cannot copy parenting skills from others. Neither can we simply follow a parenting book or parenting tips.

I believe that God gives everyone a unique child so that we have to depend on Him and grow in intimacy out of the time of seeking Him for parenting our own child.

Jeshua has been throwing a lot of tantrums in these few days. Last night, he refused to sleep and kept crying loudly to demand that we bring him out into the living room to play. I went out to take the disciplining rod and told him, "It's time to sleep or you will get disciplined." In fact, I raised my voice at him. Yes, he obeyed and went to sleep.

Nevertheless, I felt in my spirit that this isn't the right approach to father him. If I had to raise my voice at him so that he would obey, if I had to use the rod so that he would obey, then he is not obeying because he trusts me, he is obeying out of fear --- fear of punishment.

This morning, I was sitting in my study room spending time with God and reflecting about it. God the Father won't raise His voice or punish us (create fear) when we are throwing tantrum. He simply allows us to throw tantrum.

I asked Him how we should then parent Jeshua and I heard Him say the following:

"Jeshua is frustrated and throwing tantrum because he is not getting what he wants. It is a growth process where he is learning to find his identity. You can do these:

1) Call out his identity instead of focusing on his bad behaviour

2) Don't create the fear of punishment

3) The disciplining rod is used for correction - to correct him from what is wrong so that he will do what is right. It is not to be used for his tantrum

4) Use the rod when he is in danger

- such as playing with the pocket socket, wanting to cross the road by himself without any assistance, etc.

5) When he throws tantrum, don't react to it. Let him throw his tantrum until he cools down. When he has cooled down, talk to him (reasons) and hug him to show that you still love him.

Teach me, O Lord, that I may know how to train him in righteousness.

What's Important

We went to Ningxia night market after staying almost the whole day in hotel. Decided to take a cab there as it is near our hotel but it's not as convenient if we were to go by train. 

Guess which cab driver I ended up with? Yes. The one whom I prayed for this afternoon! I didn't recognise him but he remembered that I prayed for his neck. He was very helpful throughout the way.

Within an hour or so, we were on our way back to hotel. Why? Jeshua was throwing tantrum when he couldn't get what he wanted.

I was thinking that if we were to discipline him in public just because we wanted to try out different snacks at the night market, it wouldn't be right. That would be discipling him for his good, but also because of our own convenience.

We packed a few snacks and headed back, before I disciplined him in the hotel room.

I am reminded that God the Father doesn't discipline us for His own convenience. He always disciplines us for our good.

Well-Being, Not Well-Doing

Jeshua had diarrhoea for the first two days of our trip to Taipei. On the third day, he was down with bad hives all over his face, arms, legs and body. It was likely a food allergy.

We had to cancel our itinerary plans for four days (out of seven days) as he was unwell.

I realised that I had to lay down whatever desires I had pertaining to this Taipei trip for him. I also couldn't bring him to various places that I would like him to go. All for his well-being. It dawned on me that he is the only precious son I have and he deserves to be placed as priority over the trip.

Though God the Father would like us to 'go with Him' (partner with Him) to release His kingdom and do His works, He is more concerned over our well-being than what He wants us to do.

God's heart is always FOR us.

Consciousness Of Righteousness

Romans 7:5 (AMP) - When we were living in the flesh (mere physical lives), the sinful passions that were awakened and aroused up by [what] the Law [makes sin] were constantly operating in our natural powers (in our bodily organs, in the sensitive appetites and wills of the flesh), so that we bore fruit for death.

Was reading Romans 7 this morning and it dawned on me that I should father Jeshua according to this: what would lead him to be conscious of righteousness.

Sin's power is aroused by "what the Law makes sin." In other words, it is empowered by knowing what is wrong. The more I tell Jeshua, "Do not do this... Do not do that...", the more he will be inclined to do so. It is not going to train him in righteousness in the long haul. He would not be empowered to do what is right.

What we are conscious of, we do. If we are conscious of what is wrong, we will do what is wrong.

If I train Jeshua to be conscious of what is right, he will be empowered to do so as he sets his focus on what is right.

This means that if he is going to touch the power socket, instead of saying "Jeshua, don't touch or you will be hurt" (it will cause him to be even more curious about power socket), I'll say, "Jeshua, touch this stuff (direct him to another item), enjoy it as it is safe."

Instead of saying, "Jeshua, don't play with your food", I'll say, "Jeshua, the food is meant for you to eat."

Interesting how we deviate from the Scriptures so much because we based our parenting skills from our own experiences - how our parents parented us.

Whose Strength

Just a few weeks ago, we went to Plaza Singapura to buy a family luggage as we didn't have a proper one. Since there was a promotion, we reckoned that it would be wise to get one as we would be going for a vacation.

When you buy something new, you would want to check the condition of the item to see if there's anything faulty.

The salesman showed us how to check a new luggage in the fastest way. First, he spun the luggage to check the four mini-wheels under the luggage. Then, he pulled up the handle before doing various other checks.

Throughout the demonstration, Jeshua was paying full attention, observing what the salesman was doing. After we made the purchase and was heading home, he wanted to get his hands on the new luggage. Guess what? He wanted to spin the luggage like what the salesman did.

However, as he was only 21 months old, he didn't have enough strength to make it spin properly. As his Papa, I wanted to help him. I knew that he wouldn't be able to do it by his own strength. So as he pushed the bottom part of the luggage with both his hands, I pushed from the top. As a result, the luggage spun beautifully. He must have thought that he was the one doing it. The truth is, I was the one supplying the strength.

I am reminded that God the Father always supplies strength when we don't have the strength. Sometimes, like my son Jeshua, we don't even recognise that He's the One supplying us with the strength, especially when it seems that we are able to cope with various situations and handle different tasks and circumstances on hand.

Father, help me to have an attitude of thanksgiving when everything seems to be going well. I know that You are the One supplying me with the strength. I want to recognise it. And when I don't have the strength, I know that I can draw from Your divine strength. Amen.

God Sees

Recently, whenever I asked Jeshua to drink water (he doesn't like), he would act as though he's drinking, but I could see that he was not sipping from his water bottle at all!

I told him, "Papa can see. You are not drinking." And he would take a few sips. I wanted him to drink so that he stays healthy.

He's only 22 months old and he already knows how to act. I don't know if I should laugh or faint. But it reminds me that God the Father can see everything that we do and say. We don't need to try to hide things from Him. Neither can we think that He doesn't know. He knows all things.

Yet He is not trying to find fault with us. He wants to show us what is right and for our good.

The Cross is not the revelation of our sin. It is the revelation of our identity and righteousness.

Long suffering

Last few days, Jeshua has been throwing tantrum. When he was told not to do certain things, he threw tantrum and started throwing stuff on the floor. As a result, he was disciplined by me a few times.

I'm always pleased with him, no matter what he does. But I'm not always pleased with his behaviour. The former has to do with his identity as my son while the latter, behaviour. These two are separated.

For one or two times, his tantrum got me a little frustrated. That's when I knew that I did not discipline him with 100% pure motive from my heart. The major part was to train him in the ways of the Lord, but there was a minor part which was caused by frustration.

I realise how long suffering God the Father is. A lot of times, we throw tantrum before Him. But He's always patient with us. Never once did He show His frustration. He is always GOOD in training us.

Help me, Lord, to be patient like You in training Jeshua.

Being Close To Jeshua When He Is Sick

Jeshua is still down with a fever.

I realise that each time when he is sick, Carol and I will give in to him easily for what he wants, except for things that will harm him.

These two days, he wanted to watch his educational programme on the TV. We struggled to let him watch because it's not healthy for him to watch too much. Nevertheless, we gave in because of his fever and continual crying. Otherwise, I would have stood firm in my decision not to let him watch.

I wonder what God the Father would do. I believe that He will not give in to us (even when we are sick) if it will cause us harm. However, He does give strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. (Isaiah 40:29)

If the educational programme gives him "strength" while he is sick, it may not be a bad thing. Holy Spirit, please teach me more.

One thing I know is this... I feel drawn to Jeshua more when he is sick. This tells me that God the Father desires to draw even closer to us when we are weak or broken. When we are weak or broken, we can be assured that He is near.

Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is near to the broken-hearted.

Choices

Recently, Jeshua refused to sit on his stroller. He kept wanting to be carried. I feel that this is not helpful for him in the long run. He's not a baby anymore. He can walk.

Today, my wife and I gave him two options: he can choose either to walk or to sit on his stroller.

It is important for us to give a child choices as he grows older. In this manner, we can set a healthy boundary instead of saying "No" all the time. In addition, we are teaching him to make his own decision in life, while guiding him indirectly.

Jeshua was very persistent today. After walking for a distance, he would want Carol to carry. I told him, "Sit on the pram if you don't want to walk. You can choose either one." He continued to walk. This happened for many times. But he chose to walk instead. As a result, he was perspiring all over; he was also tired.

Of course, the choice of sitting on the pram will be perfect for him. He will be able to rest comfortably. Yet he chose an option which made it difficult for himself.

I was waiting for him to choose the better option, but he didn't.

I am reminded of God the Father. He has the best plan in store for us. Yet He gives us many choices in life, because He doesn't force. However, more often than not, we choose our own options rather than His. He is waiting patiently for us to choose His. If we don't, we choose problems for ourselves. He is not the cause. We are.

His Strength, Not Ours

We bought a new family luggage today.

As the luggage has four wheels at the bottom, you can spin it. Jeshua saw how I spun it and he tried to do the same thing. Of course, he didn't know how to do it.

Nevertheless, as he tried to spin, I helped him to spin properly. To him, he was the one who spun it. But the matter of the fact is that I was the one who really spun it.

I think this is similar to what God the Father is doing. He allows us to partner with Him in His kingdom work. While we are trying to do our part, He is the One who is really doing the work.

It's all about His strength, not ours. This keeps our perspective right and enables us to live humbly and dependent upon Him.

Relying On Him

Jeshua had constipation yesterday. It wasn't his first time but it was the worst so far.

Carol and I were wondering why he was whining so much yesterday. In fact, I disciplined him, thinking that he was throwing quite abit of tantrum.

When we went to Shona's farewell BBQ dinner, Jeshua wasn't in his usual mood. He was active but not as active and cheery as his usual self.

It was only after we arrived home that he kept trying to defecate. But it ended in few episodes of crying because the stool was too hard. It pained our hearts to see him crying so badly. It must be really painful.

Brought him to 24-hr family clinic. The doctor inserted a medicated liquid through his anus. When we arrived home, the hard stool came out. After we showered him, he finally defecated. A lot of soft stool came out. Thank God!

I learnt a lesson through this incident. I can't base on my past experiences to judge what Jeshua is going through. I thought he was throwing tantrum and needed to be disciplined based on my past experiences. Yet apparently, it was due to his stomach discomfort.

I need to rely on the Holy Spirit continually. Each experience may be different. I can't base on the past to judge the present. If I had asked the Holy Spirit about Jeshua's behaviour, I might have handled him differently.

Teach me, Holy Spirit.

The Father Enjoys What You Enjoy

Two days ago, we bought Jeshua a new set of toy which consists of a few small cars. He was totally elated. Seeing that he was so delightful, my wife and I felt very joyful.

I realise that we enjoy seeing Jeshua enjoying what we give to him. If he likes it, we like it.

This is the same for our Father in heaven. When we like what He gives to us, He is happy. When we enjoy His gifts, He is overjoyed.

Jeshua shows us that he enjoys his toy by playing with it. Similarly, we enjoy God's gifts by using them. Each time we exercise the spiritual gifts like healing the sick, the Father is delighted.

Note: As we grow older, we tend to want new and 'better' gifts. We are no longer satisfied with small and old gifts. The giver has not changed. The gift has. If we focus on the gift, our joy will vary. But if we focus on the giver, our joy remains. Thus, being thankful for the gifts is what builds relationship with the Giver. When we stop being thankful for the gift, our eyes have set on the gift, instead of the giver.

One sure sign of thankfulness is by enjoying the gift God has given to us.

What Affects You Affects The Father

Recently, while my wife was carrying Jeshua to the bedroom, his head accidentally brushed against the door gently. He cried a little and I was very concerned. I told my wife, "Check it out and pray for his head." But my wife responded, "The head didn't really hit against the door. Just briefly brushed against it. Don't worry."

I realise that if what affects Jeshua affects me, what affects me affects the Father. That is nothing too small or insignificant that He is not concerned with.

Note: The sign of maturity is when what affects the Father affects us. That comes from knowing His heart and desire like Jesus did (John 5:19). I realise that Jesus didn't say and do what the Father said and did simply because of obedience. Jesus did that because His heart followed after the Father's. What concerned the Father concerned Jesus. This is far better than pure obedience. This is why Jesus did things with passion AND compassion.

Not Able To Draw Close

Today, I'm down with many runs of diarrhea and one round of vomitting. I'm not sure if it's gastric flu or food poisoning. It's unlikely to be food poisoning as I fasted the whole day yesterday.

Due to the possible virus, my wife said that I can't go close to Jeshua. This is miserable. I want to hug him, kiss him and carry him. I want to draw close to him.

I can imagine God the Father feeling miserable when He can't draw close to His children, not because He is not allowed to, but because they reject Him.

The Father longs to draw close to us in every single moment. We should always respond to His love.

Help Is Always There

Last night, Jeshua kept pulling my hand whenever he needed help to do something which he couldn't, i.e. tearing off a sticker that was stuck on a box, lifting up a translucent box, etc.

He knows that whatever he can't do, his Papa must be able to do it. He simply trusts in my ability.

This is something we need to always remember. Whatever we can't do, God is ABLE to do it. Help is always available. We just have to call upon Him.

He Woos Us

This is what happens whenever I am done with bathing Jeshua. I will come out of the shower cubicle, get his towel and stretch out my left hand towards him, requesting that he comes out of the shower cubicle while giving him support as the tiles are slippery.

Almost all of the time, he will act as if he didn't hear and he will continue to stay in the cubicle. I have to walk out of the shower room, say "bye bye" (If I simply say it without going out of the shower room, it won't work!) and return. Then I will stretch out my left hand towards him again before he holds my hand and walks out of the shower cubicle happily.

I don't understand why he responds in this manner. Until now, I still don't. I have yet to ask the Holy Spirit about it though.

But there is one thing I know - I will keep doing this as long as it works. I will keep "wooing" him in a way that he wants to be wooed.

It reminds me of how God the Father "woos" us. He will go an extra mile to do so, as long as we respond to Him. He doesn't just leave us alone (as what religious people will say). He gently and continually woos us until we respond to Him. What a loving Father we have!

Waiting On Him

Today, while my wife went to the toilet at Tampines One shopping mall, I was playing peek-a-boo with my son. He was sitting in his stroller but he pulled down the top flap to cover himself so that I couldn't see him. As he knew that I was playing peek-a-boo with him, he waited patiently for me to appear suddenly in front of him.

Waiting involves trusting. My son trusts that his Papa will play with him. This is what caused him to wait expectantly.

Very often, we fail to wait upon the Lord. The fact that we don't wait expectantly and patiently shows that we trust Him little. If we really trust Him, we will wait for Him to speak and/or respond to us.

God always speaks and responds to us. Thus, we can trust and wait for Him. 

God's Gift for Jeshua

When Jeshua was few months old, my wife and I noticed that he was particularly attracted to someone. He would want to be carried by the person whenever he saw her - even if it means to "neglect" his father and mother. We found it amusing at the beginning.

During church camp this year, Jeshua was attracted to another person whom he had never met before. We just walked past the person briefly and he wanted to be carried by her! We allowed him to do so for a while, as we were at the immigration centre. But when we tried to carry him back, he refused and cried badly. My wife and I were very surprised.

It was then that I realised that this person is a single mum. That night, my wife told me that she suspected Jeshua has a gift of discernment to reach out to those who are broken-hearted; to let them experience love when love is nowhere to be found. I nodded but said that we should continue to observe before confirming.

Recently, I remember that Jeshua was attracted to another person whom he met for the first time. I just discovered that this person also experienced pain and a certain degree of brokenness. It is a confirmation of the unusual gift that God has blessed Jeshua with.

Jeshua means "salvation and deliverance." I believe he is not just a joy releaser, but also one who reaches others with the love of Christ in order to bring healing and wholeness.

I'm very grateful and touched by God. Jeshua is now 19 months old. Help me to steward Jeshua's gift properly and train him to grow to his maximum potential.

Quick Response Is Important

Recently, when Jeshua was busy with his toys and stuff, he didn't respond to my voice; at least not until I called him by name for more than six times.

I'm not very happy with that.

I have decided to discipline him in this area when he grows slightly older (to understand my reason), if he doesn't respond to my call promptly. 

This is crucial. If he doesn't respond to his father promptly, he won't respond to God promptly when He calls him.

Delayed obedience is not obedience.

Trying

After bathing for Jeshua today, while I was dressing him up, I whistled a few times.

It caught me by surprise when he tried to imitate me. Of course, he didn't know how to whistle. But he made such a similar sound ("wooo...wooo...") that I couldn't help but burst out laughing!

It makes me think that God the Father must be extremely delighted when we try to do what He is doing. We may not get it right at our first few attempts, but God doesn't look at our performance. He looks at our heart. As long as we desire to do what He is doing, He is overjoyed!

When He Waits

Last night, I went to the hospital (NUH) for visitation.

My wife called and told me that Jeshua was looking for me. Apparently, after I sent them to Sengkang MRT and waved goodbye to Jeshua, he came out of Punggol MRT one station later, saying, "Papa" with his hand signaling that Papa is not around.

When he was at home, he was continually looking for me and calling "Papa". My wife recorded the audio and sent me. It was the sweetest voice I ever heard.

I came home from the hospital with Clement and Daniel to play with him. After they left, he was waiting for me (to take my shower) patiently on the bed and refused to sleep even though he was tired. The time was 11plus pm.

I set aside other things to lay beside him on the bed. It was then that he went to sleep.

The whole experience simply amazed me and it warmed my heart deeply.

I cannot imagine how God the Father feels when we choose to wait for Him. I believe that He is waiting for us to wait on Him. By simply turning our thoughts and affection towards Him cause Him to be overjoyed!

Past Experiences

I recalled a few times when I disciplined Jeshua and had to apologise to him afterward. Being a father has made me realise the importance of apologising to my toddler whenever I make a mistake. I am not perfect.

I tend to discipline Jeshua based on my past experiences with him. If I deem that he is simply throwing tantrum, I would first ask him to quieten down; if he doesn't do so, I will spank him.

I remember there was once when he kept crying loudly after his shower and he refused to let me dress him up. As I thought that he was throwing tantrum, I spanked his thigh, causing him to cry even louder. Little did I realise that he was actually in agony, because he had difficulty defecating. The hardened stool brought much pain to his anus. Of course, I apologised to him the moment I discovered the problem.

This reminds me the importance of not relying on past experiences but rather, be sensitive to the needs of Jeshua.

God the Father doesn't deal with us according to His past experiences with us. He knows us from the inside out. He understands all our ways and He is able to meet all our needs. There is so much to learn about His ability to be sensitive to what we are going through.

Help me, Father. I want to be discerning about the needs of Jeshua as I father him.

First Adventure With Son

Yesterday was the first time Jeshua watched me lay hands on the sick out there in the streets. I'm very amazed by his ability to stand beside me while I prayed for the uncle's legs, hips, back and shoulders.

Jeshua was the one who wanted me to bring him downstairs for a walk. As we were taking a stroll, an old man requested that I call Singapore Consumer Service on his behalf as he forgot to bring his phone. After calling and helping him to write down the address of the place, we had a short conversation as he was sharing with me about his ability to recover from sickness and burns through his own prescription of home medication.

As we were talking, I asked the Holy Spirit if there is anything I could pray for this uncle and He gave me a word of knowledge for his back. Found out that he was born with uneven hips and legs, which caused his back to be in frequent pain which comes on and off.

Got him to sit down and measured his legs. But to my surprise, his legs were fully aligned. The problem was with his hips. Prayed for him, while Jeshua stood beside me watching patiently (this is rather incredible because Jeshua would normally be moving around).

Didn't see visible movement on his hips. But after praying for his hips, back and shoulders, he told me that he felt very relaxed and comfortable. Thank Jesus.

Actually, I'm more excited about the fact that Jeshua was with me as I ministered to that uncle. I can imagine God the Father being exhilarated whenever we minister by looking at what He is doing.

John 5:19 - Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees His Father doing...

Just as God the Father is delighted when we look at what He is doing, I am delighted when my son looks at what I am doing.

Crying Out

These few days, Jeshua has been crying out for tidbits but I chose not to give him today.

He screamed and cried really loud. He even threw tantrum on the floor. But I firmly said, "No!" despite the fact that he cried even louder.

As a father, I know what is better for him. He needs to have proper meal rather than eating tidbits so frequently. So I kept saying, "No. Papa loves you. Too much tidbits are not good for your health."

As a toddler, he thinks that by crying louder and throwing more tantrum, he can get his way. Little did he know that his Papa will stand firm in his decision.

This reminds me of how often we Christians think that we can get God to answer our prayers by praying more, fasting more, doing more, etc. But as long as it's not in the will of God the Father, He will simply say, "No" regardless of our holy self-effort. We don't manipulate God to do our will. We don't bend His hands to do our will. He is God and He knows what's best for us.

Repeated Incident But Different Response

Today, Jeshua wanted a small packet of Milo. Knowing that he might spill if I were to give him a full packet, I drank half of it before passing to him. Nonetheless, he squeezed from the centre of the packet and it overflowed to the floor, his jumper and his hand.

Remembering the incident that happened yesterday, I immediately decided to take a different response.

I looked at him and went, "Don't worry, Jeshua. Papa will clear up. Let's go and change and wash up first." He didn't cry this time.

A messed place is much better than a 'messed' heart.

Over and Over Again

For the past few days, I have been watching the same educational show with Jeshua over and over again (yes, a few times in each day). I can easily anticipate what the next line of conversation is. Personally, it's pretty boring to stare at the repetitions. But the interesting fact is that Jeshua can keep watching the same show over and over again without getting bored. Each time when he wakes up from his sleep (which includes afternoon nap), the same show appears to be a brand new show for him. I find it really amazing (or amusing). Despite my thoughts, I still continued to watch with him. As long as he enjoys it, I am happy, because I enjoy him.

I wonder what God the Father thinks when we do the same thing over and over again. I doubt He goes, "Man, he is doing the same thing again." His focus is not on what we are doing but on who we are. He enjoys us, literally. As long as we enjoy what we are doing (within the context of His will), He is happy.

He is happy when I'm enjoying my dinner.

He is happy when I'm enjoying my reading.

He is happy when I'm enjoying my son.

He is happy when I'm enjoying twitter and Instagram.

He is happy when I'm doing the same thing over and over again.

What an amazing Father we have!

Innocent

I was drinking my cup of coffee today as I sat with my son on the sofa.

After a while, he suddenly came close to me, trying to hug me (which is his usual style of wanting me to carry him to another place). As I was unable to respond so quickly, the hot coffee was spilled over my body, sofa and floor. Out of frustration, I raised my voice a little, "Jeshua. You see what has happened?!"

Immediately, he broke down in tears. I calmed him down. Then I put my cup on the dinner table, changed my Tshirt, wiped the sofa and the floor before going to him and apologised.

"I'm sorry, Jeshua. Papa shouldn't be so quick to express my frustration. I love you. I'm sorry."

My son was innocent. He didn't know that he would cause such inconvenience to me. He simply wanted to hug me (and ask me to bring him to another place) and play with me, but I reacted negatively instead of responding with love.

When we 'accidentally' mess up, I doubt God the Father would react with frustration and impatience. He is love and He always responds with love. He sees us as who we are in Christ, instead of looking at our messy behaviours and goes, "That's frustrating."

It's important for me to show Jeshua that things are worth much lesser than him, who is priceless and precious in my eyes. When hot coffee is spilled on my body, Tshirt, sofa and floor, they can all be cleaned up. But a broken heart takes time to heal.

I rather have a broken cup than his broken heart. I rather take time to clear the mess than to make him feel that his identity is defined by his mess.

Messed Up? Who Clears Up?

Jeshua would mess up the house countless of times in a single day.

It could be due to him playing his toys or leaving his food crumbs around the house (which causes many ants to come).

Most of the time, my wife and I have to clear up his mess. But we can handle it no matter how messy it is.

God the Father doesn't look at our mess and goes, "Man, I have never expected this. Not sure how I'm going to clear it up." No. He is more than ABLE to handle our mess.

If we ever mess up, we can rest in His love and trust Him to handle our mess.

Greatest Gift To My Son

God's greatest gift to us is not Jesus His Son. That was a past tense. God's greatest gift is the gift of His presence - it is God Himself (Holy Spirit) who is present with us.

This helps me to know that my greatest gift for my son is my presence. It is not even about having me present in the house or in the room. It is about me being present WITH him.

It's a good reminder for me that I only have 14-16 years to impact him before he starts making his own choices.

Teach me, Holy Spirit. Remind me, sweet Spirit.

Expensive?

I didn't grow up from a rich family. Growing up, there were many things I knew I couldn't buy because my father didn't earn a lot. Our family couldn't afford them. I didn't blame him, because he worked very hard to sustain a family of six. Furthermore, he taught and showed me what diligence and hardwork is all about.

Having said this, the way I was being brought up affected my view of God the Father. I always thought that God would give me what I need but He would not grant me what I want. I saw God through the lens of my earthly father. If what I asked for is too expensive or extravagant, I knew deep down in my heart that God wouldn't answer my prayer.

Now that I'm a father, it is important that I communicate properly to my son so that he doesn't get a wrong view of who God the Father is. God owns everything in heaven and on earth. He is our Chief Provider who is ABLE and is willing to lavish on us extravagantly.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that I have to capacity to buy what Jeshua would like to have. As such, it's vital for me not to say, "Papa can't afford it" or "Papa doesn't have enough money."

Instead, I should use phrases like "We are not getting it today" or "we are not buying now."

This will help him understand that even though God the Father wants to bless him (God is able, but his earthly father may not be able), it may not always be immediate. Delayed answer actually brings faith with character.

The key is for Jeshua to know the nature and character of God and know Him as who He is.

Serve You Right?

Jeshua was throwing tantrum today in the train on our way back home. As a result, he accidentally hit the side of his forehead against the metal pole beside the reserved seating.

Of course, he cried loudly as it was very painful. It was a consequence due to his disbedience.

Our Asian style of parenting teaches us to grab this opportunity to scold him or teach him, i.e. "Serve you right!", "You see. I told you!", "That's the result of your disobedience.", etc.

As I look to God the Father, I realise that He doesn't say or do that to us when we suffer from the consequence of our wrongdoings. When we sin or disobey against Him and end up experiencing pain, we already know that we are at fault. We know that we are the culprit for our pain. Instead of rebuking us, the Father embraces us with His love (The parable of the prodigal son) and gentleness to ensure that we are loved. It is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. Once we experienced His goodness and are restored, He reveals to us what we could have done right.

Jesus came to reveal Himself as "grace and truth." There is an order of priority. Grace comes before truth. Truth must be wrapped up in grace. It's not the other way round. When grace is released, truth is received.

I must always remember to respond with love as the first thing whenever Jeshua suffers from the pain of his own action. Showing love is priority. Guiding him in what is right is necessary, but secondary.

Participation

I went down to buy lunch and some groceries earlier, with Jeshua in the baby carrier.

Jeshua wanted to hold the box of cereal that I bought. As I was afraid that he didn't have enough strength, I secretly held the bottom part of the box so that it wouldn't drop. At the same time, it would be less straining for his little hand. I was literally the one who was doing the work.

The matter of the fact is this... I didn't need him to carry the box for me. But I allowed him to, so that he would be filled with joy.

God the Father doesn't need us to do anything for Him. He can easily do it by the word of His mouth. But He allows us to participate in His purpose and plan. He allows us to co-partner with Him to reign and release heaven's reality on this earth. What a privilege and joy!

By our own ability, there is nothing much we can do. The Father is the one doing the main work as we lay hold of the task which he allows us to participate.

We can simply rest and trust in His ability and power as we do His work.

Learning New Things

My son has learnt various new things that I'm very proud of.

Last week, he said "No more" when the Hi-Five show ended. Wow!

When he went too near the TV to watch, I said, "Jeshua, too near." Guess what he did? He walked backwards while facing the TV until his back touched the sofa. What a smart boy!

He learnt to help with the laundry by placing his laundry basket back to the original position.

He learnt to throw his socks into his own laundry basket after he returns home.

He learnt to keep his toys after playing.

He learnt to pick up rubbish and throw them into the rubbish bin.

The list keeps on growing...

He learnt so many things in such a short span of time.

Each time when my son learns something new, I'm overjoyed. I can imagine God the Father feeling the same way (much more intensified) whenever we learn something new in the kingdom of God.

Each time we discover the truths in the Word and walk in the truths, God the Father goes, "Awesome! I'm so elated!" When we start laying hands on the sick or reach out to the lost with the Gospel, He goes, "Wow, wow, wow! That's fabulous!"

Just as I notice and desire to see the new things that Jeshua learns, God the Father, too, notices and desires to see us learning new things.

God is Both & More

Jeshua simply loves to play with water during his shower time. I remember telling my wife one day when I was bathing for Jeshua (and he was playing with water), "It's kind of wasting water... In other countries, they don't have much water."

My wife replied, "It's not alot lah. Just let him play."

It then dawned on me that I was behaving like some religious ones who fail to understand who God is.

In the story of the alabaster jar, the woman, known as Mary Magdalene, poured an expensive perfume over the head of Jesus. The religious leaders got extremely upset. "It is so wasteful! The perfume worths a year's wages. It can be used to feed the poor and needy." But Jesus wasn't concerned with that. He called it "extravagant worship."

Somehow, we tend to think that if one part of the world's resources is used, God will have one part of the resources lesser. If someone owns a big house, God will have one big house lesser to bless others. If we play with water, other countries in the world would have lesser water.

It's the same as saying, "If another person is poor, you can't be rich." Or if we take it to the extreme, "If another person is grieving, you can't be joyful."

Well, nothing is further from the truth. God is not either or. God is both and more.

You can be joyful even when someone is grieving.

You can be rich even when someone is poor.

You can own a big house even when someone doesn't have a roof over his head.

You can play with water even when others don't have enough water.

God is ABLE to grant you abundance AND provide for the lack in the lives of others at the same time.

Our abundance doesn't affect the lack in others. Because God has unlimited resources.

God is both and MORE!

I have decided to let Jeshua play with water and enjoy himself.

Comforter

My son is sleeping peacefully on my arm now. 15 minutes ago, he was crying persistently as he was looking for his mama.

A breast-fed baby is generally more clingy to his mama. He sees her as the primary source of comfort, or perhaps, the only comfort. Jeshua has been and is still being breastfed at the age of 18 months. My wife is simply awesome!

The setback is that whenever my wife is not around, he will be upset because his source of comfort is absent. As his father, I can be his playmate, but I can't replace the role of his mama when it comes to comfort.

As he is still unwell today, I decided not to place him with his nanny. Since it's my rest day, I can take care of him.

He woke up early at 7.30am. I had to wake up with him even though I slept at 2plus am this morning after sending my mentee off for his overseas studies. After cleaning him up, brushing his teeth and changing his clothes and diaper, I gave him a little brekkie. He didn't eat much as he probably didn't have much appetite.

After watching his favorite Hi-Fi DVD show, we played at his play mat area. Time flew quickly. Before long, I brought him to the bathroom and showered him. He simply loves to play with water during his bath time. That reminds me of writing another blog post on this.

After his shower, he started crying and looking for mama. I tried all that I could to calm him down - scooped up his porridge to feed him but he rejected; pointed to the TV but he shook his head; asked him if he wanted formula milk (since mama is not around) and he shook his head again; brought him to the master bedroom and he cried even louder; gave him various toys and objects but he continued to cry; tried to read story books to him yet he didn't stop crying; did very stupid actions and things to try to make him laugh but failed badly; passed him water to drink but he didn't want either; carried him and walked around but he kept crying non-stop. It seemed that nothing that I did would calm him down. He was relentless in looking for his mama.

Having tried all my ways, I decided to just sit beside him and let him cry, hoping that he would somehow be tired and stop crying. It just didn't happen. He went on and on. I told myself, "Since nothing works, I'll just not respond and see if he would quieten down himself." I sat there for a while before the Holy Spirit spoke to me gently. "If you are crying, would the Father not respond to you?"

I replied in my heart, "No. He will always respond."

He said, "Do you think you should respond?"

I argued, "Yes, I should. But I have responded and tried all that I could. What else can I do?"

He answered, "Your son is looking for comfort. If your wife is not around, who's the next person to comfort him? Carry him and give him comfort."

I was thinking, "I already carried him just now but it didn't work. But since God spoke to me, I'll try."

I looked at Jeshua, carried him and gently stroke my right palm against his back. Within a few seconds, he stopped crying altogether!

After another 10-15 minutes, he slept on my arm. Yes... Even now.

God the Father is always responsive. He is our source of comfort and He desires to comfort us at all times. However, we sometimes get caught up with what we think is our source of comfort. We find comfort in many other things but God. As a result, when those things are not with us, we lose our source of comfort. We miss out God the Comforter, who is eagerly waiting to comfort us.

My son was so caught up with the comfort of his mama that he missed out his father's presence and the possibility of being comforted by his father. 

Yet the heart of God is for me to show Jeshua that He always desires to comfort him.

What good news! We have a heavenly Father who is relentless when it comes to giving us comfort!

Papa

I recalled the first time when Jeshua called me "Papa". I was on cloud nine. It was an emotion I had never felt before in my life.

I can imagine how excited and delighted God the Father is when we call Him, "Papa." One simple word - "Papa" is what He longs to hear.

The morning after Jeshua contracted HFMD, he kept calling me "Papa, Papa, Papa..." He was crying out in pain due to the ulcers in his mouth and tongue. I almost didn't want to step out of the house for work, even though my wife was on childcare leave to take care of him.

It is impossible for us to call out "Papa God" without Him responding to us. He is always in eager expectation to hear and respond to us.

In the early stage of his growth, when I was down with a flu, I had to be sleeping in a different room from him. I couldn't go near him. That was miserable. I missed him badly. I was counting down moment by moment and anticipating the time when I could hear him calling, "Papa"; when I could go near and hug him again.

When we withdraw from Papa God, I believe He is extremely downcast. His emotions are intensified because He is God. He is saying, "Son, I miss you so much. I can't wait for you to call Me Papa and allow Me to embrace you."

"Papa", simple as it may sound but it carries a deep relationship filled with meaning and purpose.

Come Up Higher

Last night, I wanted to read the Jesus Storybook Bible to Jeshua but he didn't want. He kept wanting to play with his toys. I brought the bible near him but he shook his head. Then he passed me his building blocks, wanting me to play with him.

At first, I kind of insisted that he read the bible first before playing. But I failed. He refused to read.

When he passed me his toys to play with him, I acted like him - a little toddler. I didn't want to. I wanted him to know that there's a time to play and there's a time to read the Word.

An idea came and I tried to put him on his baby chair, thinking that I would be able to get him to sit still and read the Word. Again, it didn't work out. He was crying to come down.

I stood beside the chair while he went around happily in the living room with his toys. I stood there and waited. I kept waiting, in hope that he would come back to me and sit on his chair. Well, he did come back but it wasn't to sit down. He just came, in hope that I would play with him.

I smiled at him and decided that I would bring him back to the master bedroom and played a while with him. Then I picked up the bible and read aloud on my own while he continued to play on his own.

As I was reflecting and praying about it this morning, I realised that I have missed it.

I felt God saying this, "I know you desire Jeshua to read the Word. But you can't force him to do it. Help him by removing the distractions before he sees them. He can't handle them at the moment."

It is so easy to fall into the trap of wanting (or evening forcing) my son to do what is good for him. But what I see as good may not be what he sees as good. As such, it is important for me to lead him into a journey of trust - trusting in his father - that his father knows what is really good for him. Because his relationship with me is measured by how much he trusts me, not by how much he does what he has to do.

As a father, it is my desire to bring him deeper in his relationship with me. This can only happen when he trusts me more and more.

Similarly, God the Father always desires that we go deeper in our relationship with Him. He is saying, "I want to you to come up higher to Me. Trust in Me."

As I stood at the baby chair waiting for Jeshua yesterday, I was reminded that God the Father is constantly waiting for us patiently to go to where He is. While we are busy with our stuff, He is waiting for us.

We grow in our relationship with Him when we go to where He is, not when we stay at where we are. However, He loves us so much that He is willing to go down to our level to meet us where we are, even though He desires to bring us higher to where He is. He is always patient.

Sin or disobedience is a result of a lack of trust in God. Adam and Eve disobeyed and ate the fruit because they didn't fully trust that God has their best interest at heart.

The key to stop sinning is not about trying to stop sinning (I'm not saying that we should sin). The root has to be dealt with. We have to keep running closer and closer to God. The closer we go to Him, the more we see His love and goodness. The more we see His love and goodness, the more we will trust Him. That is the solution to sin and disobedience - TRUST.

I have to learn to gently draw Jeshua to come to me, to come up higher by trusting in me. And I can only do that by first going to him, letting him see and experience my love. The more he sees my love, the more he will trust in me and in what I ask him to do.

Scars of Pain

My son woke up this morning with two red scratches on his forehead. I felt worried when I first saw them. As a father, you will always feel a tad of pain when your son is physically unwell or hurt.

I wonder how God the Father felt when Jesus endured the lashes and the Cross. Every lash must be extremely tormenting for the Father. Yet for our sake, He had to see Jesus going through it so that He doesn't have to see us go through again.

1 Peter 2:24 - He Himself took our sins in His body on the Tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds, we have been healed.

Matthew 8:17 - He took all our infirmities and diseases. By His stripes, we are healed.

Jesus received what we deserved so that we can receive what He deserved. It pained the Father to see all the sicknesses fallen upon His Son on the Cross.

Because of the completion of Jesus' works on the Cross, the Father never again wants to see sicknesses upon us.

I cannot imagine anyone thinking that the Father still allows or uses sicknesses to grow us in patience and character.

I won't do it to my lovely boy. What more about God who is perfect Love!

If it pains my heart to see Jeshua unwell or hurt, the pain is intensified for God the Father.

Let Baby Cry?

Many people came to offer good advices when Jeshua was born. They had good intentions which my wife and I really appreciated. However, not every child is the same. Thus, not every principle can be applied to every child.

Jeshua had been a light sleeper since he was born. He still is. He had difficulty sleeping on his own, especially during the first one year. He would cry non-stop unless he was carried on the arms. Only then would he fall asleep soundly.

People with children kept giving us this advice, "Don't keep carrying the baby just because he cries. You will spoil him."

Can a baby be spoilt by love?

One traditional school of thought is to let the baby cry until he learns that he has to sleep on the bed/cot by himself without being carried.

Another school of thought is to carry him whenever he cries.

I supposed both have their strengths and weaknesses.

Facing a dilemma, I asked God what we should be doing and He asked me back, "How do you feel if you are crying out to Me but I don't respond to you and meet your needs?"

"I would feel that You don't love me. I would feel rejected and forsaken."

God the Father used this to illustrate how Jeshua would feel if we let him cry throughout the night.

It was then that I learnt that while parenting principles are good; while experiences from other parents are helpful, what my wife and I need to depend on is really parenting from His presence. It is in His presence that He speaks and shows us how to parent Jeshua, because every child is unique.

I don't always know what to do exactly when it comes to parenting Jeshua. But the wisdom of the Lord is always available for me to tap into as I get into His presence.

Just as the Father lavishes His love upon us, we need to lavish our love upon our child. Too much love won't spoilt a person. It will only transform him. That's what grace is about.

I don't always hear God correctly but I pray that I can hear Him more and more accurately when it comes to parenting Jeshua.

Cheering From Above

Last night, Jeshua brought his building blocks to the master bedroom to play with me.

I helped him establish a layer of base (foundation) before letting him do whatever he wants to the building structure.

Trying to talk (in tongues) and build at the same time, my son tried to develop the structure further with the blocks that he had. It was really hilarious as he was making a lot of baby language (noise) as he passionately slotted in each piece.

After a while, the whole structure didn't seem to resemble any known structure. It didn't make sense to me.

But my immediate response was this... I cheered him, clapped my hands and praised him, "Jeshua, you are so smart! You are a builder! What a beautiful structure!" (And yes, I meant it, because I looked beyond the physical structure and looked into his heart and effort)

I am reminded that this is how God the Father views us and our works. Very often, we look at the outcome of what we do and we beat ourselves down when there seems to be little or no achievement/improvement. It may even appear to be unfruitful or bad in the eyes of others. As a result, we become driven by performance instead of driven by passion.

True success is not based on physical results. That's the worldly view. According to God's perspective, success lies in our heart and effort.

What we do with what we have and how we do with what we have is more important than the result itself.

The outcome may not be the best. We may look at our finished work and think that it's not the best. But God the Father sees the best in us. He looks into our heart and says, "I love your passion!" He sees our effort and says, "Well done! I love it that you are trying!" The phrase "well done" takes on a new meaning that emphasises on the effort rather than the result. 

Whatever the result is, the Father is cheering, clapping and praising us from above! What an affirming Dad we have in Christ!

Sharpening What I Do

After my son played with his toys, I told him to keep as it was time for bed. He obeyed.

Together, I helped him to keep. I simply threw the pieces of mega block into the box from a distance away.

Seeing what I did, my little boy tried to do the same thing. He threw the pieces which he picked up into the box. He was following what his father was doing, but he missed it a few times and the blocks flew over the box. That didn't seem to bother him. Neither did it stop him from doing again. He went on throwing the pieces.

Even though I see God the Father healing the sick, doing miracles and other works (especially in Scriptures) with 100% accuracy and effectiveness, I am still not perfect like Him. Sometimes, I still missed it. There is a need for me to keep sharpening what I am doing. I simply have to keep seeing how He does it and keep doing it. Like my son, failures shouldn't stop me from pressing on.

Carrying His Presence

Last two nights, Jeshua walked to me, held my hand and pulled me with him to the bathroom to bath for him. My heart almost melted. I was overjoyed! He did not just recognise my presence. He literally brought me with him.

In the Old Testament, the presence of God went before the people. In the New Testament, we can carry His presence everywhere we go.

Jeshua was "carrying" my presence to the bathroom. He knew that he needed to take his shower but he also understood that he couldn't do it by himself. He had to depend on me to help him.

It is easy for us to identify our needs and/or what we need to do. Yet the first resource we tap into is usually our human wisdom and abilities. We can even be praying for the Father to help but start using our own strength after we have prayed. We can also acknowledge His presence without drawing from His ability and carrying His presence to where we need to go and what we need to do.

Like a baby depending on his father, we need to know that "apart from God, we can do nothing." (John 15:5) The primary Resource should always be Him.

The answer to our needs and the abilities for what we need to do lie in His presence. If we can carry His presence (or "host His presence" as used by Bill Johnson), we can receive continual help, strength and abilities.

Recognising Presence

From the time Jeshua was born till now, he is unable to sleep through the night. He is a very light sleeper like me. Little movement and sound such as closing the bathroom's door will wake him up. It had been extremely challenging, especially for my wife when she had to breast-feed him and comfort him to sleep.

Thank God it is much better now as he grows older. But two things have not changed.

1) He is still a light sleeper.

2) If mummy is not lying down by his side for some time, he will be able to recognise her absence and he will wake up crying.

Many people will term this as "attachment", which usually happens to a breast-feed baby. Many will also encourage you to break that attachment as early as possible. Well, we have a different perspective.

Anyway, Jeshua is able to recognise the absence or presence of mummy even when he is sleeping. To me, that is simply amazing and powerful! 

A baby can recognise the presence of someone close to him. 

I wonder how much I can recognise the presence of God the Father as compared to a baby's ability to recognise his mummy. I want to be able to recognise the presence of God in my daily life.

A baby doesn't have many distractions in life as compared to an adult. His focus is only one thing - "Mummy can meet all my needs now." There is absolute trust in the ability of his mummy to meet his needs. There is absolute peace when the presence of mummy is there. When mummy is not present, there is fear and uncertainty.

One thing we have to pursue is the One Person who can meet all our needs and gives us divine peace that drives out all of our fear and worries. A baby knows that and practises it. We know that but we don't fully practise it.

It's time to return to the focus of a baby. I want to be so focused at recognising the presence of God in the midst of busyness and distractions.

What Kind Of Imitation

Jeshua has started to imitate the actions of others.

Last night, I stood near his baby mattress (which was standing upright vertically and leaning on the wall) and I started to lean back and forth as though I was dancing.

He came down from our bed and walked to my side and he did the exact thing I was doing, except that he was giggling away.

I am reminded that Jeshua is not going to do what I say, but what I do. He is looking to me to set an example for him to follow.

John 5:19 - "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner."

When we follow what we see God the Father is doing, we will only become more and more like Him in love, power and character. When we do what He does, we will only grow unto perfection.

This has to be my purpose for my son. When he follows what he sees me doing, it should only make him become like me. If he is following me and not growing, I have to reflect on my own actions.

The only way for me to exemplify the nature and character of God to my son is to see and do what the Father is doing, because my son will see and do what I am doing.

If I don't follow my Father in heaven, Jeshua won't follow Him.

Help me, Father, to keep my attention and affection on You.